Insane Bootleg Sonic Games/Transcript

Uhhhh....

hello guys, lemme....

(fixes microphone)

I'm pretty tired today....

Now, y'see.....

I got this Sonic 8-in-1 thing... I'm trying some bootleg games and...... Just have a good time with me.

It's from china.

It's very s---ty...

Lemme get my Tsukiese SEGA Genesis.....

Yeah, it's also called the Genesis in Tsuki..... because..... well Tsuki for so few years used to be an city-state of South Korea, but that's like 87 AD. Then, in 89 AD, we fought. So we're half Korean, and Mega Drive in Korea has it's own name, so they did that with us too.

Oh yeah, and they also gave me....... SNOC bootlegs?

Wha?

The boxart is just- why?

Let's start this first-

THIS IS AN FING HACK OF MARIO 3!

WE F- F-

(sighs)

I AM NOT PLAYING THIS.

Moving on to the multicart....

Let's check out Sonic 4.

WAIT, I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE!

I THINK!

AN SONIC 1 ROM THING TRICKED ME TO PLAY THIS GAME!

Blah.

I'VE FINISHED ALOT....

THAT HOUSE RUNNING WAS HARD AND... WELL. SIGH.

Oh great, this is not mice, dummies!

...Alright, movin' on. (Moves arrow to 8. Sonic 8) Sonic 8? this is the one I played? Hmm, let's check it out. (Presses start and the infamous title screen loads)

GRAND MA!

(Simpsons theme starts playing)

SEEMPSONS?

(Groans)

Grand Ma! Grand Ma?! What the heck?! Grand Ma?! Grand Ma?! (Pause) What the s---?! (Giggles) Grand Ma. (Groans and laughs) Grand Ma. The Grandest of Mas.

(Pauses the ROM) Is that Sonic's bloody teeth? (Enhances Grand Ma's face) What the s---? (Enhances it more) Oh no! Oh no! Oh Jesus! I actually – I – waitamin – n-y-no, no, oh pedos de pesadilla – I know the cartridge artwork for this one I think! Hang on... I think I have seen the cartridge artwork for this one, I-I'm not sure but, but uh... Hang on... (Pause while Koe searches for the artwork) I think I had it before. I think I've seen this piece o' s--t! Hang on...

(Finds it) Yes! This is it! Look at this, look at this! (Shows artwork) This is how it looked! (Enhances artwork, with "(GRAND MA 4M)" among Chinese characters) Grand Ma! (whispering) grand dad. (back to normal voice) Grand Ma? Granddad! Is it in "Grand Ma" or is it in "Grandma"? Gra– Grandma? G-

You know, I-I love th– uh– you know what makes this perfect? The fact that (Enhances star with Bart Simpson inside it) you know, Bart Simpson's like "Yeah, I'm in this too! (Giggles) Thumbs up!" (Chuckles) So it was sorta like, weird endorsement from the Simps– (Unpauses the ROM) Alright, let's... (Pauses the ROM again) Who made this game? Who made this game? (Enhances the "1993 2" text at the bottom of the title screen, with "1" looking a bit like "I") I did! I did. I993 – or 1993, I don't know. (Unpauses the ROM and starts the game)

(Skips the story intro and reaches the world map screen, where he controls Bart Simpson. Groans) Does it have anything to do with Sonic at all? (Moves Bart to the town level. The level loads, and Bart now replaced with Grand Ma himself, who is just Bart with Sonic's head) Oh no! (moves Grand Ma to the left) Oh no! (moves Grand Ma to the right) Oh no! (moves Grand Ma to the left again) Oh pedos de pesadilla! (moves Grand Ma back to the right, and has him keep walking until he falls into the water, losing a life) Shame on you!

(Grand Ma respawns. Koe moves him forward a bit, then has him duck repeatedly. After a bit of fidgeting, Koel makes Grand Ma progress through the level, jumping over the water this time.) Are you serious? (Grand Ma comes across an enemy and runs into him, getting damaged. Koe has Grand Ma defeat the enemy and collect a coin that was dropped.) This looks so out of place, it's ridiculous. (Moves Grand Ma towards two platforms over the water. Koe attempts to get Grand Ma over to the lower platform, but he ends up in the water, losing another life.)

(Grand Ma respawns with no more lives in reserve. Koe brings him near the water and has him duck for a while, apparently trying to get him to climb down the ledge above the water.) Nah, screw it. (Forces Grand Ma to walk right into the water.) Dead.

(Quits game) Alright, that was... Sonic Grand Ma. (chuckles) In fact, that's the- it was a good- (snickers)

Wait.....

(searches)

So...... it wa-

MY GOSH, WHAT'S 7 GRAND DAD?

(searches 7 GRAND DAD)

OH MY GOSH IT'S AN MARIO BOOTLEG.

(watches Joel's reaction)

Joel, uhhhh..... Oh goshhh..... I copied him!

Uhhh......

Yeah, i'm actually an Joel fan, but i never watch stuff like these.

Anyways, let's come back before my words become a meme.

Ooooh..... Sonik.... Drawerrrr????

Cool!

Oh crap, whaa....

SOOOONEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK?

MARYOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEAT?

This is an hack of the patch of SOMARI.

What?

Uhhhh.....

I'll just stop playing then! C'mon, please get better than this!

Sonic 11... cool.

Oh, this isn't a-

NOPE.....

THIS IS A HACK.

But i've never heard of the game, so i'll try anyways.

3 hours later, shortened to 3 minutes in the video

Sonic 6-

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Fine.

(plays for 4 minutes)

Off the multicart!

(goes on chinese bootleg au mutlicart.)

KEYYLOMMM?

(plays Coelum the Dog port)

[Koe dies.] I'm gonna move to the next game here... whatever.

[continue screen loads] Coelum the Nnnaw hhhhaca! Nnnaw hhhhaca! Nnnaw hhhhaca.

[clicks on "No hacer"; game over screen load]

[shouting:]WHAT?! What the f--- is that??? [very long pause as Koe tries to collect her thoughts]

[title screen loads; the pause continues] [whispering:]What... the he-- is that?

[starts the game again]

[normal voice:]I need to see that again please. [Koe proceeds to rant about the gory Coelum artwork for 7 minutes.]

Next is... WINDOWS 'R938933893!? WHAT HAVE YOU BRING UPON THIS CURSED LAND!'

(starts playing)

Cool.

COOL.

TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL, CUZ' I DIED.

(gory image of Sonic pops up)

Wha? DIO MIOS!

More gore? You have to be kidding me!

(title screen pops up)

That was terrible. Goodbye people!