Fictional Bum Reviews/Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

Announcer: And now it's time for Bum Reviews with Chester A. Bum. Tonight's review: "Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked".

Chester A. Bum: Oh my god, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life! I'm the king of the- Spoilers! There's these three chipmunks named Alvin, Simon and Theodore, and they go on vacation on a cruise with the Chipettes, Brittany, Jeanette and Eleanor, and Dave Seville, who's played by Earl Hickey. You know him? He's the guy who got karma in this show. And they're all excited because they're going to the International Music Awards, which is the award show that everyone won while singing songs on stage. And they're like...

Chester A. Bum (as Alvin in a chipmunk voice): Oh boy, we're so excited that we're going on a cruise to the International Music Awards.

Chester A. Bum (as Simon in a chipmunk voice): I know, right? It's gonna be fun. We get to sing songs on stage.

Chester A. Bum (as Theodore in a chipmunk voice): Me too.

Chester A. Bum (as Brittany in a chipmunk voice): Me three.

Chester A. Bum (as Jeanette in a chipmunk voice): Me four.

Chester A. Bum (as Eleanor in a chipmunk voice): Me five.

Chester A. Bum: So while the Chipmunks and the Chipettes are having fun on a cruise, Alvin decides to fly on a hang-glider and takes them with him, causing them to go overboard and get lost. How is this possible? You know, for a movie about the Chipmunks going on a cruise, you don't actually see them go overboard on it. I mean, how do these rodents do that while they're having fun. They should've get tied up in knots right before they're released. By the way, that's chipmunk torture. It's not like mousetraps whatsoever. So Dave goes to save them, but David Cross comes in and stops him, and they both fight for another hang-glider and fall into the water. And they're like...

Chester A. Bum (as Dave Seville): This is all your fault! You tried to stop me from trying to save my chipmunks!

Chester A. Bum (as Ian Hawke): They're just rodents, you idiot! Do you think a giant chipmunk would kill me?

Chester A. Bum (as Dave Seville): What? No.

Chester A. Bum (as Ian Hawke): Okay, that just creeps me out.

Chester A. Bum: So the Chipmunks and the Chipettes find an island, and so do Dave and David. And while they're looking for something to eat, they come across Jenny Slate, who is a female version of Tom Hanks from Cast Away. I was Tom Hanks in Cast Away once! I also made friends with Wilson the volleyball and lost it once too. And she's like...

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): I'm lost in this island for nine years, and I have no idea where I am.

Chester A. Bum (as Alvin in a chipmunk voice): Wait, you're lost in this island for nine years?

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): Yeah. Turns out I have my ball friends to introduce to you guys.

Chester A. Bum (as Alvin in a chipmunk voice): That's awesome!

Chester A. Bum (as Brittany in a chipmunk voice, to Alvin): Now hold on, since when did six chipmunks and a human girl end up on this island? We came here first!

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): Actually, I came here first.

Chester A. Bum (as Brittany in a chipmunk voice): Oh. I thought we came he--

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): Yeah, I know. Stop talking.

Chester A. Bum: So after introducing Jenny's ball friends to the Chipmunks, they have fun on the island, but Eleanor falls and sprains her ankle. (gasps) Poor Eleanor. I hope her ankle's okay. Meanwhile, Dave and David argue about the Chipmunks getting lost in the island, and while David sees the necklace Theodore made for Dave, they both fight for it.

Chester A. Bum (as Dave Seville): Let go of the necklace!

Chester A. Bum (as Ian Hawke): Neverrrrrrrrrrr!

Chester A. Bum: Meanwhile, Simon gets bit by a spider and speaks French. That's cool. I would usually see a chipmunk speak French. And Simon is like...

Chester A. Bum (as Simon in a chipmunk voice, also as Simone): Bonjour, chipmunks! I speak French now.

Chester A. Bum: And he says his name is Simone. Because Simone is a female name. And Theodore is like...

Chester A. Bum (as Theodore in a chipmunk voice): You don't speak like that. You need to speak English.

Chester A. Bum (as Simon in a chipmunk voice, also as Simone): I don't talk like that in some kind of British way. Now come, we're going on an adventure called life.

Chester A. Bum (as Theodore in a chipmunk voice): Oh, okay.

Chester A. Bum: So he takes Theodore, Jeanette, Eleanor and Jenny to a cave, and all they find is treasure in it. Wow! I've never seen treasure huntings in a chipmunk movie. That's why they were going on a cruise before they found the treasure. And they're like...

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): What are these?

Chester A. Bum (as Simon in a chipmunk voice, also as Simone): That is treasure. It has a lot of gold in it.

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): Oh cool! Can I have them now?

Chester A. Bum (as Simon in a chipmunk voice, also as Simone): No!

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): Why not?!

Chester A. Bum (as Simon in a chipmunk voice, also as Simone): Because I found a gold bracelet for my Jeanette and gave it to her. She likes it.

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): Come on! Only a female girl like me would have to get the treasure.

Chester A. Bum (as Eleanor in a chipmunk voice): What do you care? I have a sprained ankle.

Chester A. Bum (as Jeanette in a chipmunk voice): Yeah, and I love this bracelet this French chipmunk gave me.

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): Oh, shut up!

Chester A. Bum (as Simon in a chipmunk voice, also as Simone): Guys, calm down. We'll just have to wait until Dave shows up. He knows where to find us.

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): Be quiet! If you can't have the treasure, I'll get it myself!

Chester A. Bum (as Simon in a chipmunk voice, also as Simone): Ugh! Why are you talking about getting the treasure?

Chester A. Bum: So Jenny gets the treasure, but when she can't reach it, she kidnaps Jeanette and forces her to get it by tying her into a rope. I was tied into a rope to get the treasure once! It didn't work. I choked myself to death for that. So Jeanette and Jenny are like...

Chester A. Bum (as Jeanette in a chipmunk voice): Why are you doing this to me?

Chester A. Bum (as Zoe): Because I want that treasure! You know, I was never a castaway because I lied, and until now, you can get the treasure for me.

Chester A. Bum (as Jeanette in a chipmunk voice): Nooooooooooooooo! Wait. That actually makes sense.

Chester A. Bum: So Simone gets knocked unconscious, and Simon is back to normal, and while reuniting with Dave and David, the Chipmunks need to get out of the island because a volcano is about to explode. So they're like...

Chester A. Bum (as Alvin in a chipmunk voice): We need to built a raft and get out of this island because a volcano's gonna explode!

Chester A. Bum (as Theodore in a chipmunk voice): But what about Jeanette?

Chester A. Bum (as Alvin in a chipmunk voice): What about her?

Chester A. Bum (as Theodore in a chipmunk voice): Well, that crazy woman kidnapped her and forced her to get the treasure she wanted, because she lied about being a castaway and getting lost in the island for nine years.

Chester A. Bum (as Alvin in a chipmunk voice): Oh. I'm shocked.

Chester A. Bum (as Dave Seville): Well, we have to go save her.

Chester A. Bum (as Ian Hawke): Agreed. I'm no longer an evil businessman trying to capture you guys and taking us to Paris, just like I almost did in the first one because I found these chipmunk dolls and got angry at them for not singing to me.

Chester A. Bum (as Alvin in a chipmunk voice): You're right. We should've been to Paris.

Chester A. Bum: So Alvin, Dave and Ian go to rescue Jeanette from Jenny, while the rest build a homemade raft, but the island starts to rumble, and they have to escape by going on the homemade raft, until they are rescued by a helicopter pilot.

Chester A. Bum (as a helicopter pilot): You're all saved.

Chester A. Bum (as Dave, Ian, Zoe and the Chipmunks): Hooray!

Chester A. Bum: Hooray! So they finally go to the International Music Awards, the Chipmunks sing on stage, Jenny becomes a celebrity and Dave and Ian sell Jenny's story to Hollywood. Oh, and there's one more thing: Dave yells Alvin's name in every Alvin and the Chipmunks movie and TV show.

Chester A. Bum (as Dave Seville): ALLLLLLLLLVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

Chester A. Bum: The end. So Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked is a really good movie. It's like a mix between Titanic and Cast Away, but with rodents in it. Who thought rodents would be a good idea to go on a cruise, get lost in an island and look for treasure? It's also like a mix between Gilligan's Island and The Goonies. By the way, Gilligan should team up the Goonies in a future crossover movie. That would be a good idea. This is Chester A. Bum saying... Change?! You got change?! Oh, come on! Help a guy out, will ya?! Come on, change! Well, can you at least have my pet hamster go on a cruise with me and find some treasure? We could take a picture of them and put them on Facebook.