Fictional Cinema Snob episodes/Bionicle: The Next Generation

Transcript

 * The Snob: In 1996, the Bionicle franchise attempted a reboot. Can you guess what happened when they got hit by the internet really hard? Boom! 21%! 15 out of 100! 2.8 out of 10! 3 out of 4 stars... somehow! Someone got credited as Alan Smithee! Cinema Snob episode!
 * (Title card continues from that line until the Snob reappears)
 * The Snob: What is the most bad thing about this movie?
 * (Cut to The Samuel Goldwyn Company logo)
 * The Snob: Samuel Goldwyn released this film Stateside instead of Miramax or Universal!
 * (Cut to the credits)
 * The Snob: Once again, Sung Gim and Pasi Peure brought us today's "quality" film, along with- wait, Everything Can't Go Wrong Now! Productions? What's that, the mockbuster version of Nothing Can Go Wrong Now Productions?
 * (Cut back to the Snob)
 * The Snob: Come on, it's not like- (the Snob's cellphone rings, playing the Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat theme) Oh come on! (picks up) Hello?
 * (Cut to B***ard Film Brain holding a cellphone to his ear whilst wearing prison clothes in front of a green screen prison cell background)
 * B***ard Film Brain: Everything Can't Go Wrong Now! Productions was Liam Benson's vanity plate, just saying!
 * (Cut back to the Snob)
 * The Snob: Hmmm...
 * (Cut back to Jail!B***ard Film Brain)
 * B***ard Film Brain: Of course I know things can't go wrong, since I sadly can't f*** your great-great-grandmother since I'm in jail for mistaking a Floral Magician Mary Bell cosplayer for your flamboyant otaku niece! *is about to laugh evilly but instead whimpers*
 * (Cut back to the Snob who closes his cellphone)
 * The Snob: AAAAARGH- thank god B***ard Film Brain's in jail! He would have been arrested anyway since my niece is only 15 years old! And by the way, that cameo was so out of place that it'd make that Awaken the Shadowman teaser at the start of my some of my 2017 reviews stick out like a thumb cosplaying as Jeff the Killer!