Fictional Cinema Snob Episodes/Zak and Wheezie's Big Circus Adventure

Transcript

 * The Snob: ...What
 * (Title card)
 * The Snob: So what would happen if Dragon Tales: The Search for the 15 Keys and Bingo were fused together... this would have happened!
 * (Cut to a montage of clips from the film)
 * The Snob: Zak and Wheezie's Big Circus Adventure was originally released in 2002, with Samuel Goldwyn Films holding the distribution rights for certain regions and Tri-Star Pictures for the other regions. It stars Zak and Wheezie from Dragon Tales, who travel from Dragon Land and team up with a group of circus kids and a burlesque performer panther to stop a jewel heist, of which the thiefs involved are trying to hijack the circus to execute the heist more easily. And this synopsis just screams "Bad Kids Flick!"
 * (Cut to the Samuel Goldwyn Films logo)
 * The Snob: Samuel Goldwyn better stop this s*** right now!
 * (Cut to the PBS Kids Movies logo)
 * The Snob: And- what the f***, why are these kids transforming into various creatures? No explanation?
 * (Cut to the opening credits)
 * The Snob: The film was written by Dragon Tales creator Ron Rodecker and co-written by Wheezie's voice actress Kathleen Barr. This film is Barr's only writing credit, and it shows. Dragon Tales co-creator Jim Coane produced the film, and also is credited for co-writing one of Princess' music numbers. The film itself was directed by- wait, Mr. Lawrence? You worked on SpongeBob SquarePants and Rocko's Modern Life! Why are you involved in this!?!
 * (Cut to Zak and Wheezie arriving out of a portal)
 * Zak and Wheezie: OOF!
 * Zak: Wheezie, where are we?
 * Wheezie: Looks strange... but I LOOOOOOOOOOOVVVEEE IT!
 * Zak: *groans*
 * (Cut back to the Snob)
 * The Snob: I think Zak just reviewed the movie for me!
 * (Cut to Princess meeting Zak and Wheezie whilst walking)
 * The Snob: Zak and Wheezie then meet- JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE F*** IS THAT?!?
 * Princess: Hello boys!
 * Zak: Boy... and girl!
 * Princess: Okay then. My name's Princess, the cutest panther this side of the Savannah.
 * (Cut back to the Snob)
 * The Snob: It's nice to see what a fursuit of Panthy from Noah's Ark would look like, and I haven't even reviewed that movie yet! Also, Ron Rodecker originally had a meeting with burlesque performer Catherine D'lish, in which Ron actually pitched D'lish the movie's synopsis. I bet Ron made it rain later that meeting, and the flies-on-the-wall in the conversation all left afterwards in disgust! D'lish later turned down the role after developing an allergic relation to the glue used to put the base of the animatronic head together, because the glue hadn't dried yet when she put it on for the first and only time, and so they got actor Doug Jones to step inside the suit and wear padding and fake t*****s to pretend he was a woman, and had another, more legendary burlesque performer, Dixie Evans, dub over Doug's voice in the role.