Fictional Cinema Snob episodes/Hero Factory III: Savage Planet

Transcript

 * The Snob: So what happens when you try to spice up the Hero Factory films with lounge acts and a comedy subplot? The answer is: IT WON'T F***ING WORK!
 * (Cut to clips from the film)
 * The Snob: Hero Factory III: Savage Planet was not only intended as another entry into the Technic Heroes megafranchise, but also a new vehicle for notable radio personalities Steve Dahl and Garry Meier, the former of which had been in several El Kadsreian films prior to this, and this is evidenced by the back of my DVD showing a picture of XPlode and Rotor revolting against the cast at the movie's premiere.
 * (As the Snob mentions the image, we see the back of the DVD box, which shows a image of XPlode and Rotor pointing lasers at Benny and George)
 * (Cut back to the Snob)
 * The Snob: You might also recognize Steve and Garry from this travesty!
 * (Cut to footage from Disco Demolition Night)
 * CohoCommander!Steve Dahl: DISCO SUCKS! DISCO SUCKS! DISCO SUCKS! DISCO SUCKS!
 * (Cut back to the Snob)
 * The Snob: That's right, the guys who spawned Disco Gay Panic Night are in this! Every statement Steve made about how his Insane Coho Lips were saving the world from disco came back to haunt him by this point!
 * (Cut to more clips from the movie)
 * The Snob: Because the script Sung Gim completed was criminally short, they added in musical acts and Steve & Garry schtick to pad out the runtime. And it's really unblended. The Technic Heroes part of the film, the Steve & Garry parts of the film, and the lounge act bits feel like three different movies that only intersect with each other halfway in.
 * (Cut to the El TV Kadsre Films logo skipping)
 * The Snob: Oh, and my DVD player wants the El TV Kadsre logo to hurry up so it can show me this disaster of a movie.
 * (Cut to the opening credits)
 * The Snob: Liz English is still here, probably playing Marie in disguise as Rotor. And- wait, Alan Smithee? This is gonna be worse than I thought it would be!
 * (Cut to XPlode and Rotor in a jungle)
 * The Snob: XPlode and Rotor broke onto the set of a Amazon cannibal movie because reasons. Wonder what's gonna happen?
 * (Cut to Rotor playing the spine of a corpse on the ground like a piano whilst the opening notes of "Crossed Love" by Tesh and Band plays)
 * (Cut back to the Snob)
 * The Snob: You can't get a sound like that out of a corpse leftover from the events of a Lucio Fulci movie! But at least Rotor managed to ace his Scales and Arpeggios!
 * (Cut to Tesh and Band performing whilst Benny and George mingle with the backing musicians)
 * Singers: Looking at you, is like a fantasy!
 * (Cut back to the Snob)
 * The Snob: Great, it's now Technic Musical Technic March in Technic September in Technic July! TECHNIC!
 * (Cut to more footage of Tesh and Band performing)
 * The Snob: This is supposed to be a Technic Heroes film! Why is everyone singing?
 * (Cut to Hero Factory training)
 * The Snob: Finally, back to the supposed "action" we're gonna somehow enjoy!