Jerry C. Adams/Quotes

Jerry C. Adams is a 1998 American comedy-drama film directed by and starring Kent McKlein.

Dialogue

 * Jerry: (narrating) Hi, my name's Jerry. Jerry C. Adams to be more specif. You probably do or don't know this yet, but, forgetting the trauma of your birth is one of mankind's greatest gifts since America, right? Yes, that is true, but there's something you need to know about me. I never forgot. See, I'm 26 years old and... I'm stuck in a dead-end job, and you're probably asking, "What kind of job?" Well... You guessed it, a ticket clerk at a General Cinema, obviously. I had better jobs, too, but, I was fired because of my unhealthy habit of talking about my trauma to either myself or my co-workers. My first job was at a McDonald's, and, when I said you-know-what, well... (scene cuts to a McDonald's where a young Jerry is being kicked out by the manager)
 * McDonald's Manager: That's right, and you stay the hell out! I don't wanna see your trauma-talking a** in my restaurant again! (slams door on him)
 * Jerry: After that, I was a roadie for U2 during their US tour.
 * Bono: (pushing Jerry of their tour bus) Get ya bloody a** out of here and don't come back, poppycock-telling, "roadie"!
 * Jerry: After that, I was a small-time singer for Arista. After that, I was a DJ, a mixologist, a busboy, a security guard, a janitor, roller coaster manager at Cedar Point, and many other jobs I was fired from. After the manager kicks me out, they often slap me, push me, shove me, throw me into a garbage bin, and from my recent job I was fired from, I got crotch-kicked.
 * Priest: And stay out you demon from hell! (prays) Dear, Jesus, I hate to commit violence, but this man deserves it for traumatizing my saints! (kicks him in the crotch)
 * Jerry: Augh! Oh, Jesus Christ, why did you give this man permission? (cuts back to the present) And here I am right now, the only job I could take. At first, I thought I was the only one. But that was about to change, this very day!

Taglines

 * Forgetting the trauma of childbirth is one of man's greatest gifts. This man never got it, though...
 * Never never remember the day you were born