Save the Lady with an Ermine/transcript

Prologue: The beginning intro
[Crowd Cheering Wildly]

Chief (off screen): "All of these people wanna know. where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"

Sean Barry and Scott: Where in the world is

Elliot: Carmen Sandiego

Chief (off screen): "and 1 of those people can find her."

Announcer: "Owen Vaccaro of Atlanta, Georgia,"

[Crowd Cheering Wildly Again]

Announcer: Scarlett Estevez of Los Angeles, California,"

[Crowd Cheering Wildly Again]

Announcer: "and Jackson Scott of Phoenix, Arizona,"

[Crowd Cheering Wildly Again]

Chief (off screen): "and here comes the host and ACME's senior agent in charge of training new recruits: Darren Criss."

Host: "Thanks a bunch for being here today, everybody. I really enjoy solving mysteries with you guys. hey, Chief, what's the news?"

Chief (off screen): "Gumshoes, Carmen Sandiego and her crazy gang of villains have struck again, this time in Poland, best known for a famous painting called the Lady with an Ermine, which was done by none other than Leonardo Da Vinci from around 1489-1490, it's been displayed at Wawel Royal Castle 'til today."

Sean, Barry, Scott and Elliot: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

Chief: [Voice-Over] "When Vic the Slick, that sneaky con artist burglar, snuck into the castle, grabbed the painting and walked right off with it."

Chief: [Voice Over] "Today's mystery: Save the Lady with an Ermine."

Chief: "Your mission, Gumshoes is to catch Vic the Slick, return the Lady with an Ermine to Poland and put an end to Carmen Sandiego's crazy schemes."

Back to the Host and the Gumshoes
Host: "Thanks a bunch, Chief. alright, you guys heard about the case, and we're gonna begin with 50 ACME crime bucks [Dinging Sounds] any single time you answer the questions correctly, we can give you 10 more crime bucks, and the 2 of you with the highest score, will be prepared for the next round, alright? so, Chief, what just happened?"

Chief: "Darren, Vic the Slick has stolen the Lady with an Ermine and there's no time to lose, here's the profile on Vic."

Sean, Barry and Scott: Do ba de a do ba do ba Vic the Slick

Chief (off screen): "He was a used car salesman than a lounge singer, and right now, he's Carmen's criminal swinger."

Chief: "Back to you, (Host's 1st name)

Back to the host and the Gumshoes.......

Host: "Alright, now you told us, Chief."

Host: "Alright, you guys, name the South American Nation, is it Peru? Brazil? or Argentina? now, Owen, what do you say?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I pick Brazil."

Host: "That's good. what do you think, Scarlett?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "I choose Brazil."

Host: "Super good. Jackson?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "I pick Brazil."

Host: "Oh yeah, Brazil, the answer we're looking for is Brazil, nice job you guys."

[Crowd Cheering Wildly]

Host: "Oh yeah, nice job, you guys, that's where they begin this thing off, we're gonna take a little bit of time here to think about the questions and answers."

Host: "Owen, you have such a wonderful collection, tell all of us about it."

Gumshoe Number 1: "I like to collect pet rocks."

Host: "Good, very good, now how 'bout you, Jackson?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "I collect postage stamps."

Host: "Nice, very nice, next clue, we turn over to Daffy Duck."

Cartoon Animated Clip: Daffy Duck
Daffy: "I'm a dark black duck, and you know what I hate? some other people that drive me bonkers, and that Vic the Slick really disturbs me as well too, he's here in Argentina, and in fact, he's at the exact same spot where a plane load of humans 1st landed in 1898, right across the waterfall, they were looking for river otters, so get down there and catch Vic, alright?"

Back to the Host
Host: "Alright, thanks a bunch, Daffy. good point."

Host: "Okay, you guys, name the regions of Argentina: Mesopotamia? Cuyo? Pampas? or Patagonia? the 1st round that everybody got went very well. Owen, what do you think?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "Patagonia."

Host: "Scarlett?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "I chose Patagonia."

Host: "Jackson?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Patagonia."

Host: "And so everybody chose Patagonia, you guys were right all along, nice job, you guys."

[Victory Sound Alarm Going Off]

Host: "Oh yeah, you all knew those things, so, Owen, you went right up to 79, so did Scarlett and so did Jackson, nice job, you guys did-"

[Knock On Door]

Host: "Uh, yeah, just 1 minute."

The host opens the door and the delivery man enters.

Delivery Man: "Here's your delivery."

Host: Oh, yes, that's right, could you please set it down right about here?"

The delivery man sets the vase right down at its usual spot.

Host: "Perfect, thanks a bunch."

Host: "Okay, Gumshoes, name the country, if you would please, is it Ecuador? Venezuela? or Colombia?"

Host: "Alright, Owen's ready, so's Scarlett and so's Jackson. Owen, we'll begin with you, what do you say?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I pick Colombia?"

Host: "Colombia. now, Scarlett."

Gumshoe Number 2: "I choose Venezuela."

Host: "Venezuela. now, Jackson."

Gumshoe Number 3: "I pick Ecuador."

Host: "Ecuador, the answer we're looking for is Ecuador, nice job."

[Audience Members Cheering Wildly]

[Sounds Of Thunder And Lightning]

Host: "That sound means it's time for the Lightning Round, which means all of these questions had to do with Vic's most recent known whereabouts in Ecuador, every single 1 is worth 9 crime bucks, alright here we go: In a very big country, there's a world's famous Argentine beef, horses, wine and tango."

[Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Owen?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "Argentina."

Host: "Argentina is correct, now on to question number 2: In 1492, he sailed the ocean blue, and he discovered America."

[More Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Scarlett?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "Christopher Columbus."

Host: "Christopher Columbus is correct, nice job, now on to question number 3: In Philadelphia, there's a real tasty treat made there, cheeseburgers? macaroni and cheese? or Philly cheese steak subs?"

[Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Jackson?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Philly cheese steak subs."

Host: "Philly cheese steak subs is right, nice job, alright, so the end of 3 questions, Owen got 82, Scarlett got 79 and Jackson got 97, good job, Gumshoes, that's the way to do it, uh-"

(Brief Pause)

Host: "You know, I kinda got the feeling right now that the Chief's probably calling me in right about now."

Chief (on television screen): "(Host's 1st name) come in my office right away."

Host: "Alright, I'll be right over there, you guys take good care, I'll go check to see what she wants, [Chuckles A Bit] I wonder what she'd like to speak about."

(The Host) enters the Chief's office.........

Host: "Yeah, Chief, what is it?"

Chief: "Now, (Host's 1st name), you and the Gumshoes have been half across the universe, and you still haven't found-"

Host: "Vic and Carmen Sandiego."

Chief: "That's exactly right."

Host: "Yeah right."

Chief: "Well, you need to get your act together as always."

Host: "Or we're never gonna find them."

(The Host) exits the Chief's office and goes back to the 3 Gumshoes..........

Host: "So remember, we're looking for Vic the Slick and trying to get back that Lady with an Ermine, so most importantly, ACME Budnet has just provided all of us with a telephone conversation between Vic and Carmen Sandiego, listen very carefully."

Vic the Slick: (on the telephone) "This painting is taking a couple of hours to keep in my knapsack, Carmen."

Carmen Sandiego: (on the other telephone) "Never mind that, Vic, those ACME agents are gaining up on you, head for a group of Denmark Islands in the South Atlantic."

Vic the Slick: (on the telephone) "But I'm a bit hungry and nervous."

Carmen Sandiego: (on the other telephone) "Well, I think you're in luck, these islands are full of fresh fish and seafood dinner meals."

Vic the Slick: (on the telephone) "Seafood dinner meals? that sounds yummy good and tasty."

Carmen Sandiego: (on the other telephone) "Those Gumshoes are gonna make a dinner meal outta you if you don't hurry up and get going."

End telephone conversation.........

Host: "Alright, Gumshoes, name the island group: is it Caribbean Islands? Christmas Islands? or River Islands?"

[Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Owen?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I pick River Islands."

Host: "How 'bout you, Scarlett?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "I choose River Islands."

Host: "Jackson?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "River Islands."

Host: "River Islands, the answer we're looking for is River Islands. nice job, Gumshoes, [Sounds Of Audience Cheering And Applauding] alright, so that means Owen has 87, Scarlett has 78 and Jackson has 96. nice job, you guys. now unfortunately, it looks like Vic has completely disappeared, which is super easy when he's super sly and sneaky."

Mysterious Man: "Well, he went to a place that's full of Crocodiles, Koalas, echidnas, kangaroos, wombats, tortoises and emus. now get on over there and catch him."

Host: "Alright. thanks a bunch."

Host: "Okay, Gumshoes, name the state, is it New Mexico? Australia? or South Africa? we'll begin with all of you, now, Owen, what do you say?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I say Australia."

Host: "Scarlett?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "Australia."

Host: "Jackson?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Australia."

Host: "Australia. the answer we're looking for is Australia. good job, you guys, [More Cheering And Applauding], alright, that means Owen, you have 101, Scarlett, you have 99 and Jackson, you have 87. nice job, you guys, what a super tight game. I think it's time to pick up-"

Sean, Barry and Scott: Ohhhhhhhh, the chaaaaase

Host: "All I'm gonna give you is 6 crime bucks hands on your buzzers, please, watch the monitor screen and listen very closely, here we go: Vic took the Lady with an Ermine to Paris, name the state he's in."

[More Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Owen?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "France."

Host: "France is correct."

Host: "Tokyo is a place for Tuna Sushi and hot tubbing, name the country."

[Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Scarlett?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "Japan."

Host: "Japan is right."

Host: "Berlin is a place for speaking German language and making good German dishes there, name the state."

[More Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Jackson?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Germany."

Host: "Germany is correct, that means at the end of the chase round, Owen has 86, Scarlett has 73 and Jackson has 99, nice job, [More Cheering And Applauding] wow, you guys did super incredible, now it's time for the final clue round, which means you need to decide how much you want the risk, if you're correct, we'll put them up to your score, but if you're not correct, we'll take it away from your score, as your risk, you can risk 30, 40, 50 or 60 ACME crime bucks, now if you all look right over here, please, here's a portion of the universe where we think Vic might be headed, now we turn over to Linda Cardellini, a recruiter from ACME Universe, watch."

Guest Star: "Gumshoes. Vic's in a super big city town, that's all I'm telling you guys."

Host: "Thanks a bunch, Linda."

Host: "Owen, do you recognize her? that peculiar young lady?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "Yeah, that's her. Velma Dinkley in the 2 live action Scooby-Doo film series and my character's mom in Daddy's Home 1, 2 and 3.."

Host: "Absolutely right. now name the city town if you can, please. is it New York City? Las Vegas or New Jersey?"

[Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Owen?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I pick New Jersey."

Host: "New Jersey is 'not the answer we're looking for. so we're going down 30..but this isn't over just yet. now, Scarlett?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "I choose New York City."

Host: "New York City is correct, nice job. [Sounds Of Cheering And Applauding] alright, Jackson. how much did you risk?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "47 crime bucks."

Host: "47 crime bucks. that means 2 of you guys are going for the next round. congratulations, way to go."

[Crowd Cheering And Applauding Again]

Host: "Owen. listen, buddy. you're a super good detective, you did some wonderful things for a trip that's gonna help you on the next case, hey, Chief."

Chief: "We got the official ACME Crime Net travel kit, and this includes an Atlas for world travelers [More Sounds Of Cheering And Applauding], an official Carmen Sandiego digital watch, a Carmen Sandiego t-shirt, a super national world geographic magazine and this handy universe globe."

Host: "Alright, you guys need to go to the main continent and track down Vic the Slick and bring back the Lady with an Ermine, so you need to go find them and bring them back, Chief, what do you say?"

Chief: "It's time for the ACME photo recon, begin the slideshow, please."

Slideshow Sequences
Chief (off screen): "In Ancient Egypt, is where the Egyptian Pharaoh's tomb is located around these pyramids, in China, there's the Great Wall of China, in which the Chinese people used this to dedicate to the memories of the Chinese lives, and in London, England, is where Trafalgar Square is located."

Chief: "Gumshoes, Vic has taken the Lady With an Ermine to London, England, go get him."

Back to the Host and Gumshoes again
Host: "Alright, Gumshoes, here we are in London England, set your thing right over there, and take a look right over here, now anyway, here are the proper location spots where you'll be able to find Vic, the Lady With an Ermine and a warrant for Vic's arrest, now the 1st thing you need to do is find the loot, that's the other thing if you get a warrant, with a warrant, you get to arrest the criminal, combine all 3 of those things in that order and 1 of you will get to capture Carmen Sandiego, catch Carmen Sandiego, and you get a trip anyplace in South America, 1 more thing as always, if you happen upon the loot, the warrant and the crook, you get a free turn, alright? Owen, you're way ahead in the final round, you go 1st."

Gumshoe Number 1: "Madame Toussad's Wax Museum."

Host: "Madame Toussad's Wax Museum, let's see."

The picture of Madame Toussad's Wax Museum is turned over, but there's nothing there.

Host: "Nope, nothing there, but we're still on our way."

Host: "Scarlett?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "The airport."

Host: "The airport."

The picture of the airport is turned over, but there's also nothing there.

Host: "No, uh, uh, nothing there."

Host: "Jackson?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "The Golden Gate Bridge?"

Host: "The Golden Gate Bridge."

The picture of the Golden Gate Bridge is turned over, but there's also nothing there.

Host: "Nope, nothing there."

Host: "Owen?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "Trafalgar Square."

Host: "Trafalgar Square? let's see."

The picture of Trafalgar Square is turned over, and Vic the Slick's image shows up.

Host: "Alright, so you got Vic the Slick, now remember, Owen, you need to go in the right order: the loot, the warrant and the criminal."

Gumshoe Number 1: "New Jersey Hotel."

Host: "New Jersey Hotel, let's see here, (He checks and there's nothing there) nothing there, nice try."

Host: "Scarlett, go ahead."

Gumshoe Number 2: "The Australian hill tops."

Host: "The Australian hill tops, let's see." (He checks and there's the warrant)

Sean, Barry and Scott: The warrant

Host: "Oh, you found the warrant, I'm gonna tell you the exact same things I told Owen, the loot, the warrant and the crook, now go ahead, Scarlett."

Gumshoe Number 2: "The rocky mountains."

Host: "The rocky mountains, (He checks and there's nothing there), nice try. Jackson, your turn."

Gumshoe Number 3: "The Statue of Liberty."

Host: "The Statue of Liberty, let's see (He checks and there's nothing there), nope, nothing there, but there's 2 things you need to remember? where is Vic the Slick?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Trafalgar Square."

Host: "Trafalgar Square, is he there?" (He checks and there's Vic the Slick)

Sean, Barry and Scott: Do ba de a do ba do ba Vic the Slick

Host: "Yeah, there he is. [Victory Triumph Music] nice job, Jackson. you got Vic the Slick, now all you need to do is pull down the chain and put him in jail."

Gumshoe Number 3 pulls down the arrest chain............

[Foghorn Sounds]

Sean Barry and Scott: Do ba de a do ba Vic the Slick, in jail

Host: "Nice job. alright. we're gonna talk about your next journey quest in just 1 little bit, you tracked Vic all the way here, we've got something very good for you, hey, Chief."

Back in the Chief's Office
Chief: "When you get right on the road and you say the right words: The fastest way to find it is to use an electronic language translator like this 1, and oh, congratulations, Gumshoes."

Back to the Host and Gumshoe Number 3
Host: "Alright, now, Jackson, you don't know exactly where you're gonna go yet, but you got the loot, the warrant and the crook, so now you got a pen and some note paper, and you can just write down the name of the place."

Gumshoe Number 3 begins writing down the name of the place he's gonna go.

Host: "Alright, nice job. now all we need to do is figure out where Carmen Sandiego is right now and furthermore, [Telephone Ringing] you get another telephone call, and I'm gonna pick up the telephone here and-"

Host: (on the telephone) "Hello? yes, he's right here."

The Host gives Gumshoe Number 3 the telephone.

Gumshoe Number 3: (on the telephone) "Hello?"

Vic the Slick: (on the other telephone) "Well, Carmen's out there having a super thrilling party blast while I'm in the jail house. look for her in Paraguay."

Gumshoe Number 3 hangs up the telephone.

Host: "Alright. now what did he say?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "He said to go to Paraguay."

Host: "Alright then, we're going to Paraguay. we're gonna need to go over there. hey, Chief."

The Chief's office
Chief: "Here's a list of places Carmen may have traveled."

Chief (off screen): "Argentina, Colombia, Venezuela Ecuador, Paraguay, Peru and Suriname."

Chief: "Darren. let's go to the map."

Back to the Host and Gumshoe Number 3 on the map
Host: "So, Jackson, you know what this is all about, don't you?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Yes, of course I do."

Host: "It's about the end game where you need to identify 8 different South American countries in 99 2nds with the marker, when you're absolutely right, you'll hear this sound, [Fire Truck Siren Wailing] and if you're wrong, you'll hear this sound [Failure Buzzer Sounds], now, come on, Jackson, we're gonna do this for 99 2nds on the clock, you've got all of your good friends to cheer you on, good luck, on your mark, get ready, get set, go."

Gumshoe Number 3 begins moving around the entire map.

Host: "That's it, put the marker on Ecuador, where's Ecuador?"

Gumshoe Number 3 puts the marker on the Ecuador location spot.

[Fire Truck Siren Wailing]

Host: "That's right, Jackson. that's Ecuador, now where's Argentina?"

Gumshoe Number 3 continues moving around and puts another marker on the Argentina location spot."

Host: "That's it, that's Argentina, now find Peru."

Gumshoe Number 3 continues moving around and puts another marker on the Peru location spot.

Host: "Nice job, you found Peru, now where's Brazil?"

Gumshoe Number 3 continues moving around and puts another marker on the Brazil location spot.

Host: "Alright, you found Brazil, now find Venezuela."

Gumshoe Number 3 continues moving around and puts another marker on the Venezuela location spot.

Host: "Good job, now where's Colombia?"

Gumshoe Number 3 continues moving around and puts another marker on the Colombia location spot.

Host: "Good, very good, now find Suriname."

Gumshoe Number 3 continues moving around and puts another marker on the Suriname location spot.

Host: "Alright, nice job, now the last thing you need to find is Paraguay."

Gumshoe Number 3 continues moving around and puts another marker on the Paraguay location spot.

Host: "Hey, nice job, Jackson. everybody, give him a nice round of applause."

[Crowd Cheering And Applauding]

A newspaper headline says: Carmen Sandiego Captured

Rockapella Members: [Scatting To Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? Theme Song]

Host: "Well, that was super good. so I'll tell you what. you're the winner of today. you got Vic the Slick, you got the loot back. so, Chief, what do you say about it?"

Back in the Chief's office again
Chief: "We're all super proud for the super hard work you did today. and for your super hard work, I hearby upgrade you to now be a super detective. congratulations, way to go."

Back to the Host and Gumshoe Number 3 again
Host: "Hey, congratulations. way to go. you're now a super detective. which means you also get to wear the official Carmen Sandiego super detective jacket. what do you think about that?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "What a super good idea."

Host: "What do you guys think about that?"



Host: "Yeah? good. super good. now I also found this out. you're a member of the National Junior Agent Society, right?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Yep, I sure am."

Host: "Now there's 1 more thing I want you to do right now. you know what it's time for?"

Host and Gumshoe Number 3: "Do it, Rockapella!"

Elliot: "Yeeeeeeah!"

Sean, Barry, Scott and Elliot: [Scatting to Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? Theme Song Again]]

Sean: Well she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina

she's a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize

she'll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China

tell me

Barry and Scott: where in the world is

Elliot: Carmen Sandiego?

End Production Credits
Senior Producer: Howard J. Blumenthal

Top Gunge arrives and steals credit name number 1.

Barry: steal their Seoul in South Korea

make Antarctica cry Uncle

Series Producer: Jonathan G. Meath

from the Red Sea to Greenland

Neemoy arrives and steals credit name number 2.

they'll be singin' the blues

Director: Dana Calderwood

well they never Arkansas her steal the Mekong from the delta

Patty Larceny arrives and steals credit name number 3.

tell me

Associate Producer: Deborah S. Finkel

Production Supervisor: Hannah-Gail Greenberg

Elliot: where in the world is

Sean, Barry and Scott: Carmen Sandiego?

Eartha Brute arrives and steals credit name numbers 4 and 5

Segment Producer: Lynn Kestin

Chief Science Officer: McPaul Smith

Sean, Barry, Scott and Elliot: she go from Nashville to Norway

Bonaire to Zimbabwe

Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back

Wonder Rat arrives and steals credit name numbers 6 and 7.

Editorial Director: Pinch Harris

Mission Control: Charles Nordlander

J.M. Stifle

Business Manager: Thomas G. Veeder

Production Designer: James Fenhagen

Lighting Designer: Deke Hazirjian

Sound design by Acme Soundworks

Sean, Barry, Scott and Elliot: Well she'll ransack Pakistan'

and run a scam in Scandinavia

then she'll stick 'em up Down Under'

and go pick-pocket Perth

she put the Miss in misdemeanor

when she stole the beans from Lima

tell me where in the world is

Elliot: Carmen Sandiego?

Scott: 'oh tell me where in the world is

Sean and Barry: oh tell me where can she be?

Sean, Barry, Scott and Elliot: ooh, Botswana to Thailand

Milan via Amsterdam

Mali to Bali

Ohio, Oahu

Sean, Barry, Scott and Elliot: well she glides around the globe

and she'll flimflam every nation

she's a double-dealing diva

with a taste for thievery

her itinerary's loaded up with moving violations

tell me

where in the world is

Elliot: Carmen Sandiego?

tell me

where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

tell me

where in the world is

Carmen Sandiego?

Others and Rockapella Band Members: where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Chief: "This is Cameron Diaz speaking for Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, and I hope you have a super good afternoon."