The Daily Minecraftia

"Our only source of newspapers comes from The Daily Minecraftia, the paper you commonly see every day. They also discount information about current events as well as upcoming events."

- Ryan Tenmetsu, describing it

The Daily Minecraftia (日刊マインクラフト国), often abbreviated as TDM, is a newspaper based in Minecraftia City, explaining the current events in Minecraftia City, Minecraftia, as well as politics, sports, finances, business, advertisements, and even yonkomas in Minecraftia.

The newspaper began publishing in Minecraftia in 1809 and is one of the most subscribed newspapers in the country. As of February 2016, the newspaper has garnered a total of 110 million subscribers worldwide. All provinces publish the newspaper physically in Minecraftia City and digitally in all provinces except the capital, as well as the rest of the world.

Classroom horror at Emenbee Elementary and Junior High School
Written: March 14, 2000

A Canadian-American-Minecraftian student slit his teacher’s throat in an act of revenge after his Nintendo Game Boy was confiscated. The student, named only as Jack Fuchs in local news reports, had been discovered playing with his Game Boy by his teacher Hikari Uchida during recess at Emenbee Elementary and Junior High School in Minecraftia City.

The following day Fuchs went to Uchida’s classroom where the teacher was sat marking papers and slit her throat from behind. The 37-year-old mother-of-one died at the scene as the student fled. Today, Fuchs' father, Frederic Fuchs, who runs as the headmaster of the hacktivist group Team Crimson, congratulated his son for the crime before turning himself in to police in Minecraftia City.

Uchida had worked as an elementary school teacher at Emenbee for ten years before her brutal murder, school officials told El TV Kadsre. She had taken the student’s Game Boy after the 11-year-old boy had used it during recess, but it had been returned at the end of the day. Despite this, Fuchs attacked Uchida as she was preparing lessons in her classroom, just two days after the Minecraftia High School Prom – an annual formal dance where students confess their love to their love interests, which Uchida's 15-year-old nephew took her daughter to. Officials say a fellow teacher heard Uchida’s scream and called emergency serviced, but the 37-year-old was dead before an ambulance arrived.

Dozens of School Buses crash after Snow Day "Cirnosis"
Written: November 18, 2004

Things were pretty normal for Minecraftia City Schools yesterday but behind the scenes, the district is now apologizing for a huge mistake to operate schools that day, after blizzard warnings for the area dropped more than 60 centimeters of snow right around noon, calling it a "Cirnosis", in allusion to a character from the extremely popular arcade game series Touhou Project.

The forecast expected 7 centimeters of snow, but a strong cold front was busy thwarting other provinces and their cities with 15 - 40 centimeters, causing dangerous road conditions and even whiteouts. The blizzard had caused numerous bus accidents after students were forced to go home on icy roads covered in thick sheets of snow, causing drivers to get stuck and activate snow-clearing spell cards.

"I grew up in Minecraftia City after moving from El Kadsre, and I attended school here from kindergarten until I graduated from Minecraftia High School. I've survived walking to school in more than 15 cm of snow, and I'm always like the first one there," says Ryan Tenmetsu, headmaster of Minecraftia High School.

Minecraftia High School website hacked, claims "Junji Ebina is still alive"
Written: April 30, 2005

It was a mystery that perplexed Minecraftia since 2003, with them stating "where is Junji Ebina?" Yesterday for almost half a day, it appeared that Minecraftia High School noticed this story on their blog, and found out this was fake. It was actually the work of hackers from a group calling themselves Team Crimson who broke inside Minecraftia High School's computer system. Asides from posting the fake story, Team Crimson made some of Minecraftia High School's private content available to the public.

Many students and staff of the school are asking Team Crimson why they would do this, and it was actually retaliation as the group did not actually like a short film series called The Drillimation Series by a group of students at the school, that features anime-like characters performing comedic stunts. Right after watching these shorts, members of the group told Susumu "Driller" Takajima, the creator of the series, that he had stolen one of Hearthcliffe's horcruxes and making derivative works based on it. Hearthcliffe even threatened to sue the school over Driller's activities as far back as October 2004.

Queen Konata Becomes Pregnant: What to Expect
Written: July 26, 2005

Local doctors at the Minecraftia Health Network have made an exciting announcement that Queen Konata was going to be having a baby in February or March of next year. According to nationwide reactions, Minecraftians were becoming excited about this, and kids are probably sending letters to the monarch determining what the baby will be.

Hearthcliffe Defeated: Minecraftia High School Wins First Battle of Minecraftia
Written: August 1, 2005

Minecraftia High School students Susumu "Driller" Takajima and Kagami Ochiai were honored by King Susumu and Queen Konata as they defeated Hearthcliffe at Minecraftia University over the weekend. The battle, which had been ongoing since May of this year, had been really brutal for Minecraftia High School students. "I helped Driller defeat Hearthcliffe, and it was a tough job", says Shira Katsumoto, who is a second-year student at the school.

Hearthcliffe Returns: Now More Active
Written: July 17, 2006

In a brief outcry at the Minecraftia Square, Susumu "Driller" Takajima has confirmed that Takumi Hearthcliffe has returned to Minecraftia and is now much more active. "I thought we defeated him, and it was a great regret over his destructiveness, and now, he is back and among us again," says Kumiko Uchida, daughter of the late Hikari Uchida. Local officials have arrested a fourth-year student at Minecraftia High School named Joey Belmont accused of using Driller's blood to revive Hearthcliffe after seeing Driller and Kagami Ochiai outside the Minecraftia Opera House from an evening performance of The Flight of the Bamboo Cutter.

The Monarch of Minecraftia is currently publishing guides for homeowners to protect their homes from Heartchliffe, as King Susumu heard the truth of these rumors of Hearthcliffe returning. Details that led to the event was that Belmont found Hearthcliffe's body in a bursted ofuda by Kumiko Uchida and put his heavy body inside a cauldron to prepare the revival. Ryan Tenmetsu, the headmaster of Minecraftia High School, believed that Hearthcliffe and his followers (known as Crimsonites) had gained access to the Lucky Star Kingdom itself Friday evening, trying to find Queen Konata's Lighting Scepter before being chased out by the guards of the castle. Meanwhile, King Susumu is insisting that Susumu Takajima and Kagami Ochiai set out to form an army similar to Team Crimson and crush Hearthcliffe.

Tragedy on Sanyou Expressway
Written: December 30, 2006

A 14-year-old girl was hospitalized after she was seriously hurt from an attack by a Crimsonite after a battle broke out on the Sanyou Expressway in Japan's Hiroshima Prefecture. The victim, who goes by the name of Yumi Ochiai, had twisted her ankle after being hit by a Crimsonite's Stunning Spell while fighting side-by-side with Susumu Takajima, one of Minecraftia's famous drillers. The girl went flying off of her cousin's truck and collapsed in the middle of the expressway itself.

The battle began after a fellow Crimsonite lashed a Cruciatus Curse at Ochiai, but Driller nullified the attack and instead launched a Disarming Charm on the victim, removing their weapon with the weapon being destroyed by another car. In an act of revenge, the caster launched the spell, leading up to the traumatic events that occurred. "She was seriously hurt, I saw her bleeding on her right knee," says Susumu Takajima.

Takajima asked both cars to pull over and examine Ochiai. Yumi's older sister, Kagami Ochiai, was so horrified over this that it warranted a call to both paramedics and the police. When they arrived at the scene, police were able to track down the Crimsonite's car. The Crimsonite who initiated the attack is now arrested, charged with first-degree assault and attempted murder.

Stalker Forum Ender Farms Busted Over Biggest Crackdown On Phishing and Cyberbullying
Written: January 24, 2007

At a large mansion in Dockery Bay in Kyoushin Province, a series of vintage artifacts worth millions were seized with the man living there arrested after he sealed himself inside a safe room and found right next to a revolver. His name is Junzou Tsukimoto, and Minecraftian officials believed he is one of the top phishing and cyberbullying pirates on the internet. Minecraftian police said that he was listed on warrants relating to phishing and cyberbullying offenses based on racketeering.

Minecraftian officials said that he, along with two other people, ran the popular forum under the name of Ender Farms, a place where users make fun of celebrities and other users. It was also a place where its users trolled other internet users when writing legal complaints by grabbing their personal information. Another reason for controversy was that the main topic was often associated with dark humor, with its context being very profane in nature.

Officials from Minecraftia City said that Susumu "Driller" Takajima and Kagami Ochiai, two of Minecraftia's famous drillers, were also victims of the site. This all happened when Ender Farms user "MissionBinary" posted a fake story of Driller contracting cancer and Kagami being assassinated by Hearthcliffe. "MissionBinary and Tsukimoto could likely be Crimsonites or followers of Hearthcliffe," says Ryan Tenmetsu, headmaster of Minecraftia High School.

Minecraftian officials realized that Ender Farms was not aware of both issues, but its users helped to turn the world into chaos. Due to its dark content, the site was regularly blacklisted in schools and various countries. As of today, Minecraftian and US officials have now shut down Ender Farms' website. But when this happened, hacktivists from Team Crimson temporarily shut down NCMEC's and SPCA's websites respectively.

Driller Saves the Minecraftia High School Prom Night From Hearthcliffe
Written: March 11, 2007

The prom night at Minecraftia High School was saved by Susumu Takajima after it almost turned into a nightmare for him. The Minecraftia High School Prom is an annual formal dance held every year where students confess their love to their love interests, and Driller had taken Kagami Ochiai to prom for two years in a row. The dance is also the place for alumni of the school to have engagements and weddings take place. This time, he took a girl named Reika Enami, who has developed a crush on him.

The event almost ended in disaster after Driller had to save Ochiai from Hearthcliffe, who tried to marry her in a secret shrine called the Altar of Hidden Evil, which is hidden inside Mineplex All Boys High School. The shrine was previously opened by Hearthcliffe's father when he was his age in the 1970s and used it to marry his wife, Hanayo Katsuragi, who later died after Hearthcliffe was born in 1988. To carry the operation out, Hearthcliffe used Polyjuice Potion to steal the physical appearance of Driller. Using an apparition spell, he and Kagami warped to Mineplex All Boys High School to begin the wedding.

During the wedding, Driller came in and told Kagami that the other Driller (who was Hearthcliffe) was a fake. Using some milk, the Polyjuice effects wore off and it was revealed to be Hearthcliffe. With Hearthcliffe angry, he unleashed the mechanical basilisk that guards the shrine and molests on every student who goes inside. Driller knew had to defeat the basilisk to save Kagami. With the timely arrival of Yumi Ochiai, Kagami's younger sister, she gave Driller Honoka Akimoto's lightsaber to fight the basilisk. After crushing it by ramming the lightsaber up its roof, Driller used one of its teeth to destroy the ring horcrux owned by Hearthcliffe.

Hearthcliffe's Crimsonites Now Throwing Hissy Fits Over Destruction of His Class Ring
Written: March 13, 2007

Local residents of Minecraftia City are now concerned after one of Hearthcliffe's horcruxes were destroyed by Susumu "Driller" Takajima at a hidden shrine at Mineplex All Boys High School. Hearthcliffe's followers, called Crimsonites, are lashing messages at Driller and his friends stating he stole and destroyed one of Hearthcliffe's horcruxes, being the sprite and now the ring.

Driller had gotten ahold of the ring when rescuing Kagami Ochiai at the altar on the Minecraftia High School Prom. He battled the shrine's basilisk to get ahold of one of its fangs and destroy the horcrux. With the horcrux destroyed, there's only one more horcrux Driller must destroy to defeat Hearthcliffe. "I couldn't believe Driller would do this dangerous battle to rescue my daughter, and it was pretty epic," says Kisumi Ochiai, Kagami's mother.

The government is beginning to publish guides for defense against Team Crimson's messages, and if they come into one's inbox, they are advised to report it and/or delete it. "I wasn't expecting Crimsonites to do this, and when I saw others getting this, that's when they found out he destroyed the horcrux. Danmaku wars are likely going to uproar over this," says Megumi Wasai, member of the UGSF.

Team Crimson Destroys Spring in a Massive "Bombogenesis" of Snow
Written: March 14, 2007

Team Crimson has launched an all-out attack in an act of revenge after one of Hearthcliffe's horcruxes was destroyed last weekend at the Minecraftia High School Prom, an annual formal dance where students confess their love to their love interests. The horcrux, being the class ring, contains a hidden spell card that unleashes an extreme weather current when it is destroyed, and now almost all of Eastern Minecraftia is covered in more than 300 cm of snow, causing schools to cancel classes and/or have delays.

"I knew this would happen, spring and summer are the greatest seasons, and a Perfect Cherry Blossom is likely going to happen," says Kagami Ochiai, a student of Minecraftia High School. Many drillers of Minecraftia High School are now complaining that it might last forever or until Driller takes action over this. Until someone counterattacks to remove the spell, residents will have to return to winter customs for the duration of this.

Not only has the storm affected Minecraftia City, adjacent provinces across Eastern Minecraftia were also affected, including Lucky Lagoon City of Gatajima, and a couple of cities in New Saitama. Team Crimson's antics also captured ten lives across three provinces. The storm had dropped that entire 300 cm in less than an hour, with wind gusts reaching from 65 to 80 kilometers an hour. The storm also triggered tsunami warnings with waves reaching up to two meters in length.

The attack is also reminiscent of the 1993 arcade game Touhou 7: Perfect Cherry Blossom which featured a similar situation in which spring never rises. If a real life Saigyou Ayakashi would appear, then this would have been the cause of this powerful blizzard. The situation is currently being investigated by the National Weather Service of Minecraftia, and any hackers suspected are likely to face criminal charges.

Hearthcliffe and other Elite Hackers from Team Crimson Busted
Written: April 3, 2007

The Minecraftia Police has initiated a major takedown on the war against computer crime, and authorities across four countries have captured at least seven hackers from the United States, Canada, Minecraftia, and Japan in a recent string of high-profile cyber attacks that they have carried out. The Federal Bureau of Investigation is now worried that trying to take them down will only spawn more.

They have breached government websites, financial services, and entertainment conglomerates. The perpetrator, being Jack Fuchs, was revealed to be Hearthcliffe, who was the serial killer in the Emenbee Teacher Murder in 2000. Six other hackers were involved in Team Crimson, which is associated with the hacktivist group Anonymous. Hearthcliffe, who is also a hacker, was reported during his senior year at Mineplex All Boys High School in Minecraftia City stating that he quit attending class entirely with the exception of one course. He allegedly hacked into teachers' accounts by installing keyloggers on their classroom computers, capturing keystrokes every time they logged into the system. The staff at the school also reported he changed his grades into straight A's. After graduating, it felt like he made more than $70,000 from a scholarship.

When he went to start his college degree at Minecraftia University, everything spilled out there. He lost his diploma, got kicked out of Minecraftia University, and was arrested by the Minecraftia Police Department. He was charged with hacking, murder, and other crimes. He and his accomplices were also arrested, with their attacks hitting more than five million victims.

"I couldn't believe the FBI and the SPCA were able to identify the perpetrators, and trying to get them is extremely difficult," says King Susumu, monarch of Minecraftia. One of those hackers, who goes by the name of Joey Belmont, known as "Mint Cookie" on social media, pleaded guilty for reviving Hearthcliffe last year. The SPCA also realized that Belmont and a few others were behind some notorious attacks, launching distributed denial of service attacks on Nihon Ad Systems, Toei Animation, and 20th Century Fox as retaliation for taking down swaths of doujin content on YouTube and other websites.

Viacom's website was also hacked after the Viacom v. YouTube case after they did the same thing with NAS and TCF. There, they posted a fake story stating that Deng Xiaoping was still alive and well in mainland China. Xiaoping died of Parkinson's in the late 1990s. They even disabled access to the Lucky Star Kingdom's website, and Queen Konata also reported Team Crimson hacking into email accounts and stealing information about a recent conference call between the kingdom itself and Minecraftia High School. The suspect even recorded that call and shared it on 4chan as well as other imageboards.

"There's a lot of bragging tweets about this, and every time we defeat a hacker, they grow two back," says Susumu Takajima of Minecraftia High School. The arrests of them will cause a debacle for the group, with some claiming this to be a non-sequitur of their movement.