Nostalgia Critic: Reversal of the Dragon Heart


 * Video stars with the into, then we see the Nostalgia Critic running.
 * Narrator: The Nostalgia Critic cannot be here due to recent revengance, but has left a recording before he left for you to enjoy.
 * NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to.
 * NC: So, you have been requesting this damn movie all this time, so I'm finally doing it. So here it is. I'm reviewing Reversal of the Dragon Heart. I'll quit stalling.
 * NC: If you didn't know, this film was made by Caroyln Chrisman and Don Bluth. OH, MY GOD, DON BLUTH! (Has flashback of Dragon's Lair.)
 * NC (voiceover): Okay, Disney needs to update their Goddam logo! Disney, if you're hearing this, UPDATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, we start off seeing a baby dragon, who chases a butterfly thru a series of obstacles before coming to a dead end at this cave. Then, a knight comes and this happens
 * (Knight slays Baby Dragon, we see blood splatter, Nostalgia Critic is shocked.)
 * NC: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? THIS IS A PG RATED MOVIE, WHY DID IT HAVE TO HAVE SOME BLOOD! I DIDN'T THINK A PG RATED MOVIE WOULD HAVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT! DISNEY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!!??? (Punches himself in the face.) Sorry, I needed that. Proceed.
 * (Mother Dragon sees dead body and cries.)
 * NC: Oh come on, how does it make me sad for something that died hundreds of years ago? LIKE THIS?! (Cries).
 * NC (v.o.): After the princess puts on the damned necklace, we are forced to see this unsettling transformation sequence. We see unsettling imagery of the princess slowly transforming into a dragon. JUST LOOK AT THIS!! This is how you need to show a transformation sequence?! for example, we see her face expand into a muzzle, her hands becoming reptilian, and a tail growing out, all in unsettling animation and unsettling sounds of bones cracking!! THIS IS A KIDS MOVIE, HOW COULD A COMPANY LIKE DISNEY LET THIS SCENE PAST CENSORSHIP!!!!
 * NC: What the hell is this? this is both nightmare inducing and seizure enducing!
 * Plays footage of Kyra's transformation.
 * NC (v.o.): OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST, WHY IS THIS IN A DISNEY MOVIE!??? JUST MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!
 * Scene stops.
 * NC: Thank f*cking God!
 * Shows another scene.
 * NC (voiceover): Now that the nightmarish transformation is over, we see the princess, or Kyra look at her beastly self. then, Sorren comes in! and although she tries to persuade the prince, she "is" the princess, but Sorren is an asshole and doesn't believe her, which leads to this Indiana Jones-esqiue scene.
 * Kyra tries to fly while the Critic yells at her.
 * NC: FLY YOU IDIOT, FLY! YOU'RE A DRAGON, BE A GODDAMN DRAGON & FLY!
 * NC: She manages to escape Sorren, but she doesn't how to f*cking fly, and guards notice and chase her, which leads to this cartoony chase scene thru the village.
 * TBA
 * NC: we see her crash into a house, a bar, and a SUPERMARKET?! i understand this is a cartoon, but good god, WHY TBA! THIS IS A CLIMATIC CHASE SCENE, NOT LOONEY TUNES!
 * NC: Then, we watch her walk lonely and heartbroken for 3 minutes until this scene happens..
 * (scene cuts to baby birds, who fight over a cherry)
 * NC: What the hell? It's like we can't let reality set in TOO deep, so here's some pretty birdies!
 * NC (voiceover): Ooh, the birdies, nobody's dead, nobody's dead, it's just birdies, birdies...
 * NC: You still sad? You still sad? Oh, look at the keys!
 * He pulls out a set of keys
 * NC: Look at the keys, the pretty little keys! LOOK IT THEM, YOU GODDAMN IDIOTS!!!!
 * NC: Okay, why does this scene look so depressing? is this Land Before Time? WHY AM I SAD?!
 * NC: (cries again)
 * TBA: