Fictional Bum Reviews/Happy Death Day

Transcript

 * Announcer: And now it's time for Bum Reviews... with Chester A. Bum. Tonight's review... Happy Death Day.
 * Chester: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!
 * Chester: Ehhh... insert public domain birthday song here then immediately interrupt it with-SPOILERS!
 * Chester: There's this college student, named Tree. What the hell, who names their child after those brown oak thingies with leaves I use as toilets?!? What, was her father drunk on the night of her birth?
 * Chester (imitating a doctor): Congratulations, it's a girl!
 * Chester (imitating Tree's "mom"): Honey, what shall our beautiful baby girl's name be?
 * Chester (imitating Tree's "dad"): *drunken noises* TREE! TREE! *lip-syncs to Barney Gumble's belch*
 * Chester (imitating Tree's "mom"): ....Okay....
 * Chester: And Tree wakes up in her college friend's dorm after a night of drinking! And Tree sees him and is like-
 * Chester (imitating Tree): Piss off!
 * Chester: And her friend is like-
 * Chester (imitating Carter): ...Okay?
 * Chester: Then her sorority friend comes in and is like-
 * Chester (imitating Lori): Hi, I'd like you to have this cupcake!
 * Chester And Tree is like-
 * Chester (imitating Tree): Piss off!
 * Chester: And then we find out Tree is having an affair with this married professor... and that's all I know about that part of the plot, since I went to the bathroom while much of that scene was played.
 * Chester: But on her way to a party, Tree is murdered by a guy wearing a mascot costume! I murdered someone in a mascot costume once! Insert Five Nights at Freddy's joke and wait for applause.
 * (sound effect of kids cheering)
 * Chester: Uh oh.
 * Nostalgia Critic (off-screen): God damn it Chester, now the studio is filled with immature 12-year olds obsessed with Freddy Fazbear!
 * Chester: Sorry Mr. MacCritic!
 * Nostalgia Critic (off-screen): Also there's a bunch of furries armed with pitchforks outside waiting on standby just in case you make a furry joke.
 * Chester: Ehhh... okay.
 * Chester: Then Tree wakes up, and it turns out it was all a dream... OR WAS IT! *duuuuuuunnnnn!*