Sherbetian Folk Tale/Quotes & Transcript

Sherbetian Folk Tale is a 2014 Sherbetian black comedy film about five survivors of an earthquake and oil spill as they spend time with each other and look for other survivors while the oil and water flooding drains.

Scott

 * What the s**t!
 * Oh, god, I think we ran over Joe Mama.

Gerald

 * Goddamn it, watch out!
 * Does it really matter? Almost all of Sherbet Town is flooded with water and oil, I crashed a truck chock-full of weapons into a diner, I shot a black officer in the head slightly far from his brains, and I got my balls busted from this kid!

Transcript
(Big Budget Pictures/Lionsgate intro plays)

(Eight Network intro plays)

(No. 1 Films intro plays)

("Good Morning Life" by Dean Martin starts playing as the screen then fades into a billboard reading "SHERBET TOWN: EMBRACE IT". It then pans out to show a view of a street in Sherbet Town. A drone view of the city with its buildings starts to play. We then see a diner where the camera pans to a car park. Starla is on a smoking break standing next to her car in a car park beside the diner, until a man in a truck starts harassing her)


 * Man: Hey honey, how about it? Honk honk!

(Another view of Sherbet Town plays)


 * Scott: Y'know, you should come with us tomorrow.
 * Bill: No man, I don't like films from the 50s.
 * Scott: Aw, man, but the kids go nuts when they see Malthus tearing off his head.
 * Bill: Well, I don't visit my kids that much since Juliana died, (turns off radio) and besides, it's depressing.
 * Scott: What? Seeing Linda Grundy's grandfather get his arm bitten off through 50s film effects? I mean, what other movie shows the grandfather of an Afro-El Kadsreian actress playing a police officer?
 * Bill: Yeah, officers do their jobs like true motherf**kers, but in a 50s film? They ain't got the wits to shoot a criminal immediately, I mean, that's not the way we do it these days.
 * Scott: Yeah,. no sh*t, man. That's cause we'd all suck these days in Sherbetia. I'm more into old-school, usually music like Kenny D.S. songs, but I could be one of the greatest cops the force has ever seen!
 * Bill: No sh*t?
 * Scott: No sh*t.
 * Bill: See? I didn't know that.
 * Scott: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
 * Bill: That's even more depressing! That's what I'm talking about, a stupid a** officer who claims to be the best on the force. That s**t's f**ked up!
 * Scott: I didn't say I was claiming to be the best.
 * Bill: Well then, who's the best?
 * Scott: N-Nobody's the best, it's just an example.
 * Bill: Well, then that's a... f**ked up example of some random sh*t right there, man. That's what I'm talkin' about! Newbie officers who claim to be the best like that cop in that one Powerpuff Girls episode.
 * Scott: No, I just meant- (Bill interrupts him).
 * Bill: Look, just go get the pizza!
 * Scott: Alright. (prepares to leave car when Bill stops him).
 * Bill: But remember, we pay half!
 * Scott: Yup. (leaves the Police car).
 * Bill: Get me a 2-liter Fanta as well! (Bill finishes talking as Scott closes the door).
 * Scott: (walking to the Domino's Pizza) You got it... Deputy Fata**. (Scott is inside the Domino's Pizza looking at the menu screen above) Okay, so medium pizza, 2-liter Fanta. Medium pizza, 2-litre fanta.
 * Radio Voice: All units respond to APB 211, suspect last seen heading west in Luceat in a red delivery van. Suspect white male, six feet tall, white t-shirt, blue pants, and goes by the name Gerald.
 * Scott: (as he leaves the Domino's Pizza with the pizza and the drink, he sees Gerald outside getting out of his van) Sweet Jesus. (He throws the food away and runs outside. As he opens the door, he knocks over a person)

(Gerald then begins to drive off)


 * Scott: (runs to the car and hops in)
 * Bill: Hey, hurry up!
 * Scott: Go, go, go, go!
 * Bill: (he starts to drive, but accidentally hits someone in their car when turning the other way, however, they ignore it) Do you see him?
 * Scott: Watch out, watch out!

(One of the cops is in a helicopter flying. He then flies over Sherbet Town Zoo, where a class are on a field trip)


 * Tractor Driver: Okay everyone, listen to me please. All hands and feet inside the barrels, no snacks and definitely, no feeding the animals. Grrr! (He starts to drive) There's a lot to see here and we're gonna have a lovely time together, so heeeereee we go! (We see all of the students sitting in the barrels as he drives off, except for Tyler and Steven, who are sitting on the last barrel facing the other way. Steven is seen drinking a can of Coke. We see a view of the barrel train driving) Just on your right is one of our huge aquatic friends. It's our magnificent emperor penguin, and no, you won't be calling him names like Hirohito or...
 * Steven: This guy sucks hairy balls.
 * Tyler: Yeah, let's get outta here! Come on, let's go!

(Steven and Tyler jump off the barrel train)


 * Steven: Let's go ride a lion!

(Tyler and Steven begin laughing as they start running off. We see one of the penguins in the zoo sliding off a chunk of ice and falling into the water. They run up to a gate and see a lion sleeping on the ground down below)


 * Tyler: Look at the big pussy there! Big pussy!

(A can of Coke hits the lion on the head, and he looks up. Tyler starts to moon the lion while Steven starts laughing. The lion then roars at them, and the Zoo's owner walks up to them and warns them)


 * Zoo Owner: Woah, woah, woah! That is no way how to treat our animal friends! Now how would you like it if I pulled down my pants and shook my heinie in your faces? Hmm?

TBA


 * Starla: Wait, are you sure you're old enough to drink that?
 * Steven: M'well, my family allows one member who is one day closer to 14 to drink their first beer. I'm 13 and my birthday's tomorrow.
 * Starla: Oh, well happy birthday, then. (earthquake rumbles begin to start again). Oh, sh*t! Sherbet Town's fallin' down!

TBA

''(We zoom out of the now-drained city as we see emergency vehicles come in to the scene, where "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire" by Bennie Benjamin starts to play. Then, a text appears in Times New Roman font saying, "As for our heroes (and anti-hero), Bill and Scott managed to get their jobs back at the station, and Gerald was bailed out by his new date, Starla, with Gerald promising to reform himself. Tyler was revealed to have fallen into a bomb shelter and was luckily recovered by Steven, who also finally turned 14 and had his first beer (14 is a legal age to drink alcohol in Sherbetia). The rest... We don't know.", the scene and text fade out as the credits begin to roll. For the full credits, see: Sherbetian Folk Tale/Credits. After the credits, we see Tyler and Steven walking out of a local convenience store with a 6-pack beer case in front of Sherbet Town, which is now being rebuilt. We cut to a wall where Tyler is drinking three beers, while Steven stops at two.)''


 * Tyler: (drunk while facing the camera). Hey! What the hell are you all still doin' here? Get the hell out of here, you've seen enough for toda- (barfs while screen cuts to black)

(The Big Budget Pictures/Lionsgate print logos are seen, then we cut to the Eight Network print logo, and then the No. 1 Films print logo).

(End of script)