Parker: 1999

Parker: 1999 is a 1999 British spy-fi comedy film produced and directed by, and written by and. It is the sequel to 1980's Parker and stars, , , , , Desmond Suen and (who reprise their roles from the original), as well as introducing  as Christine Parker (her original actress, , died in 1990).

Chapman had the idea for the film after witnessing his parents watching. Production of the film ran around August to November 1998. Produced by Standard Productions in association with Chapman's production company, this is HOT's only live-action feature film, as well as the only one to be released theatrically. It premiered at on 25 January 1999, and was released in the United Kingdom by  on 31 January. Like the original, it received positive reviews from critics and fans of the original.

Plot
Cheryl gets a phone call from, a wealthy man who is having marital issues with Alison Eastwood, both of whom believe the other is cheating on them. Cheryl writes a very vague description of the phone call saying "Eastwood, office, meeting, 10:00". Herbert "Herbie" Aykroyd, Archibald Harper, and Rembrandt Parker visits Eastwood's office at 10:00am, while Alison visits the Aykroyd Agency's office, where they ask the two groups to seduce the other Eastwood and tape it to prove the other is cheating. Parker bets that Dr. Isaac Chang can seduce Alison before Herbie and Harper bets the opposite, while Sylvia Baines bets Kimberley Alborough can seduce Eastwood before Cheryl can and Christine Parker bets the opposite.

Slater arrives at Christine's office with an assignment for Parker and Sylvia. Despite the everyday antics of the people who work there, he decides to entrust them with it. Slater informs them that a freelance agent of the CIA is stranded in Buenos Aires and in need of an extraction. The agent in question is revealed to be none other than Desharious Morrissey (much to Parker and Sylvia's disgust.) Slater also reveals that the whisper drive Morrissey apparently stole to sell to the Chinese government was, in fact, a decoy set up by the CIA to ensure the safety of the real plans and that Morrissey was not a traitor after all (much to Christine's delight.)

As Sylvia and Parker arrive in Buenos Aires, they begin to debate over who would be AJ's legal guardian in the event of their deaths. That argument is tabled as they make their way to the apartment where Morrissey is holed up. Sylvia begs Parker not to jeopardize their mission by attempt any kind of revenge rampage on Morrissey. Parker responds by kicking the apartment door down and attacking Morrissey. As the two struggle to the death, Sylvia decides to make some tea. While Parker is being choked by Morrissey, he tears the skin from his bionic arm (courtesy of Chang, to neither Parker or Sylvia's surprise). Just when it appears that Morrissey has the advantage, Sylvia brains him with a kettle.

As the tension between the three dies down (and as Parker discovers firsthand that Yerba mate and Caña smoothie with a WD-40 float does not make an enjoyable cocktail), Morrissey informs Parker and Sylvia that his mission is not yet complete. He was sent to retrieve a computer file with the real identity of every CIA operative operating in Argentina. Archer and Lana are forced to help him retrieve it from the Argentinian government in order to complete their own mission.

Back at the office, Christine attacks Cheryl in the bathroom, accusing her of kidnapping AJ. After learning that wasn't the case, Cheryl, Kelsey Anderson and Alborough decide to help Christine find the baby.

Meanwhile, Parker, Sylvia and Morrissey commandeer a limousine to infiltrate the building where the computer file is being kept. Their disguises don't help much, as Archer is intercepted and assaulted by the guards. Sylvia and Morrissey, being locked in the limousine, watch on helplessly. Fortunately, Parker manages to hold his own and subdue the guards. With the situation thoroughly "Parkerized", the three make their way to the computer holding the file.

Back again at the office, Christine recalls Chang skulking around her office around the time AJ went missing. Fearing the worst, Christine, Cheryl, Kelsey, Alborough, Harper and Herbie all rush to Chang's lab. There, they find him, AJ, and what appear to be schematics of a baby-sized cyborg (to everyone's disgust).

Chang explains that the schematics were actually for what he calls "Cyberneddly Teddly", and that he simply needed AJ for market research purposes. He claims the prototype is somewhere in his lab, but no one believes him. Taking back AJ, Christine and the others decide it would be best not to tell Sylvia. After Christine warns Chang not to approach AJ again, she and the others take their leave, just as Cyberneddly Teddly shows up to do a little dance.

Meanwhile, Morrissey manages to extract the computer file he was after. His mission accomplished, he shoots Parker in the back. He then explains to Sylvia that he planned to sell the file to the Russians all along. He had Parker and Sylvia assist him so he could have his own revenge for what happened to him during their last encounter. As he prepares to parachute out of the building, he assures Sylvia that he couldn't shoot her as well because she has a child to look after. After an unfortunate crack about baby weight, however, Sylvia slams the window on Morrissey, severing his non-bionic hand, which was conveniently holding the disc containing the file he was after. Morrissey is then forced to retreat, revealing that Desharious Morrissey was, in fact, his real name.

As Sylvia carries a wounded Parker out of the building, Slater drives by to pick them up. Slater also reveals that the CIA suspected that Morrissey would pull the stunt that he did, which is why they sent Sylvia and Parker to bait him. Not caring too much at that point, Parker tries to discuss their situation with AJ. Sylvia finally confesses that if anything did happen to her (and her alone), AJ would live with her parents. And if anything happens to them, she would live with Sylvia's sister. Curious, Parker inquires if Sylvia's sister was, in fact, her younger sister. Sylvia responds by pressing into his wounds.

After a tense debriefing from Christine, liaison Sandra Salisbury tells everyone they're overworked and suggests they go out for drinks. After going out for drinks, Robert Baines, Sylvia's father, gives Parker his black card and a "Pampage" ensues. Monster trucks, underground warehouse parties and psychedelic drugs are a sure way to blow off some steam.

Two months later, as Parker (more or less) carries out his mission, the rest of the crew formerly known as MI5 (minus Chang) arrive at their newly renovated office, courtesy of Cheryl and Alborough. Christine, in particular, is overjoyed at the office's new, futuristic look, only to find that it was all a holographic simulation disguising the true office, a faithfully recreated version of the old office (minus the MI5 logo, naturally). The only addition to the office seems to be a robot named Vincent, a copier-shaped toaster.

As Parker traipses through the jungles of Borneo, he's ambushed by a Japanese soldier named Keiichi Mitsui, who has been out of touch with the outside world since the 1940s. He believes World War II is still going on and as such treats Parker with hostility. Using his phone, Parker tries to convince Mitsui that the war had ended, but to little avail. Parker is then forced to take Mitsui prisoner as he continues his mission.

Back at the office, everyone is baffled to find how thoroughly the MI5 office was recreated, right down to the most minute details. Apparently, Cheryl had the aforementioned recreations done as a joke on Christine.

Back in Borneo, Mitsui leads Parker into a trap, wherein he skewers his foot on bamboo. Hearing guerrillas approaching, Mitsui attempts to flee but is forced to rescue Parker at gunpoint.

Meanwhile, back at the office again, Christine is distraught to find that her office, too, was restored to its pre- raid condition. The rest of the group continues touring the office, but Alborough ducks into the Janitor's closet. Therein, she opens a secret passage to another new addition to the office; a Japanese-style hot tub, undoubtedly meant to be kept a secret from Christine. Chang is already inside, and still exhibiting faulty memories, assuming he even is Chang and not a clone.

Back once again in Borneo, Parker and Mitsui relax after escaping the guerrillas. As they discuss their respective situations, Parker blacks out from a mix of pain medication and sake. He wakes up the next morning just in time to see Mitsui using his phone to find out about. Parker tries to console him, also to no avail, save a couple of broken ribs. Eventually, Mitsui decides to assist Parker on his mission in the hopes of catching a ride with him and returning to Japan. Having retrieved the objective for the mission, Parker prepares to blow the plane, but the guerrillas spot him. With Mitsui's help, the mission is completed and they make it to the extraction point relatively intact. Mitsui has second thoughts about leaving, but Parker, in an extremely unprecedented act of kindness, uses his phone to track down and call Mitsui's family, allowing him to talk to his wife for the first time in decades. When the NCA agents, tell them to hurry up Parker shoots the water in front of them yelling "Give us a minute!" as he watches Mitsui reconnect with his family.

Upon his return to the office, Parker is berated by Sylvia about his six-week-long absence. Sylvia proposes some ground rules regarding Archer's role as a parent and then leaves to feed AJ. Before Sylvia follows, he reveals to Christine that he was in on the recreation of the old MI5 office and Vincent, stating, "I'm not a huge fan of change."

Ten weeks later, the international space station Horizon sends a distress signal to MI5, stating that the spaceship has been under attack. Aiden English, the commander of the station, has urged MI5 to assist the crew in controlling the situation. A reluctant Sylvia is the first one to voice concern over the issue, as none of them have undergone training in preparation for a flight. Despite these concerns, Christine is quick to take the job for financial gain. The field agents of MI5—except Parker, who is being evaluated by Dr. Chang for medical purposes—are subjected to basic astronaut regimens in anticipation for the flight, including a flight simulator (which Parker makes Herbie crash) and weightlessness training, which causes Sylvia to vomit copiously because of the lack of gravity.

MI5 is forced to quit mission training due to time constraints. After the space shuttle Intrepid exits out of the Earth's atmosphere, English introduces them to the blueprints of Horizon, which is overrun with so-called "mutineers". English's plan is to fight past the mutineers and link up with his men on the bridge. The group is aided with an M41A pulse rifle, which is set into two modes: on kill mode, the weapon fires lethal plasma ammunition, while the weapon serves as a tranquilizer on stun mode. Indeed, stun mode can potentially initiate cardiac arrest, as proven when Parker accidentally shoots Herbie, who is later revived after defibrillation. The trajectory of the shuttle is off course from Horizon, which is later found to be caused by Cheryl and Alborough, who are being harbored in cargo. Archer is then put on probation in the hold, after shooting Alborough with his pulse rifle. As the Intrepid lands on a port on the Horizon, Sylvia, Herbie, and Harper enter into the spacecraft with English. Being overwhelmed by the number of mutineers, Parker later joins their endeavors after being released by Alborough. The party successfully makes it to the bridge, where it is revealed that English and his men are the real mutineers, and his real plan was to lure Sylvia onto the station to become breeding stock for the colonization of Mars.

Parker, Sylvia, Harper and Herbie are subsequently kidnapped by Commander English and his aggregation, after finding out that his main intent was to terraform Mars. Meanwhile, English sends some of his crew to search for Alborough, Cheryl, and Christine—who are waiting in the Intrepid. In the holding, Sylvia takes off her suit in order to distract the guard with her breasts. While successfully distracting the guard, he later activates the security breach. After escaping from their holding, the group encounter a group of scientists, who inform them that English's men are making their way into the Intrepid to launch towards Mars. As Cheryl allures English with her self-proclaimed "Martian queen" persona, Alborough takes him hostage, holding a pulse rifle to his head.

After the MI5 agents reunite and English's mutinous crew agrees to surrender in order to prevent his death, English has a mental breakdown, declaring humanity to be doomed and killing himself with Alborough's rifle. Herbie, startled by the sudden gunfire, opens fire himself, killing three people (one of whom was the only capable pilot of the shuttle other than English). To worsen the situation, Christopher Atkinson challenges Archer to fight him in space. Despite the rigorous taunting and demeaning from Atkinson, Parker ultimately declines his offer. After Parker makes an act of humility, Herbie aims the launches at Atkinson's jet, subsequently stranding him on Horizon. As the group nears the airstrip, Parker, who wishes to take credit for the landing, messes with the steering shift, causing the spacecraft to crash. Afterwards, every MI5 agent except for Parker is shown to be injured as a result, especially Harper, who is now paralyzed from the waist down.

Cast

 * as Rembrandt Parker
 * as Christine Parker
 * as Sylvia Baines
 * as Herbert "Herbie" Aykroyd
 * as Kelsey Anderson
 * as Kimberley Alborough
 * as Archibald Harper
 * Desmond Suen as Dr. Isaac Chang Keung-Kuen (張強權)
 * as Aloysius Armstrong
 * as Cheryl
 * as Desharious Morrissey
 * as Slater
 * Amayah Hunter as AJ
 * as Sandra Salisbury
 * as Robert Baines
 * as Aiden English
 * as Christopher Atkinson
 * as Keiichi Mitsui (三井桂一)
 * as himself
 * as herself