Fictional Angry Video Game Nerd episodes/The Worst Games on Every Svensson Ever!

Transcript
(Episode opens up with James Rolfe listening to the US vinyl release of Cartoons' album, Toontastic, after a few seconds, James looks at the camera.)

James: Okay, I'm listening to a cover of Witch Doctor right now, and you're probably commenting, "Hey! I've heard of that song, it was in the first My Life as a Teenage Robot movie!" Well... (holds up vinyl release of Toontastic wjth the Musique Obscura sticker on it) The album that song was featured on didn't chart or was released in the US. (stops record player and takes out the Toontastic vinyl, showing a US release of Sabrina's "Boys (Summertime Love)", then changes the settings on the record player and plays a track from it.) How about this English-language Italo disco song? (song plays while Nerd holds the Sabrina release with the Musique Obscura sticker on it.) Never been on Billboard! (takes out vinyl to reveal US vinyl release of "Take That & Party" by Take That, then changes the setting on the player again, and plays another track. He also shows the Take That & Party cover along with the Nobody Else cover.) How about this Take That album that was actually their debut and not "Nobody Else", which featured their only US hit, "Back For Good"? Never seen the rest of their songs or albums on Billboard charts! (Takes out vinyl to show nothing else on the player while he shows the Musique Obscura single cover for "Innocent" by Addis Black Widow.) How about this Sweden-based Americano hip-hop track? (shows "The 1st Album" by Modern Talking) How about this German synth-pop duo, (then shows "Walking On Music" album by Corona) or this rare Corona album you can't find in America, (then shows "Three" album by the Sugababes) or this album that features (shows Hole in the Head CD case) this US hit, (finally shows "Everybody Jam!" album by Scatman John) or even this rare Scatman John album you can't find in the United States?! Well... Now you can find 'em right here, in this country. That's right, before we get started, let's talk about one of today's episode's two sponsors, Musique Obscura. Now, if you don't know who Musique Obscura is, you ever watch the My Life as a Teenage Robot movies? Well, basically its a company and alias owned by Brad himself, Zachary Morris. Musique Obscura imports music that's never ever charted or been released in America, take the New Day version of I See You In My Dreams by Polar Bears of Europe for example, and you want to know a fun fact, the company actually partnered up with Billboard Magazine to create a music chart category based around Musique Obscura imports, you wanna know what happened to the New Day version of I See You In My Dreams when it entered that category? Peaked at number three on the Hot, Retro & Imported chart, which is the official name of the chart, the other one being called the Hot & Imported chart for recently released songs. Some of these songs also chart on other categories, In My Dreams reached number 9 on the Hot 100 Airplay chart as well! Also, if you live outside of the United States, but have heard of the Musique Obscura website and want to buy a CD, don't worry, just like my AVGN DVDs, they're region-free, no region coding required. Check out some of the hot imported music on the Musique Obscura website and online store, and get 90% off on purchases for two months by clicking the link in the description, musiqueobscura.com/cinemassacre. That's m-u-s-i-q-u-e-o-b-s-c-u-r-a.com/cinemassacre, for two months of 90% off prices, again, please visit musiqueobscura.com/cinemassacre. And now, on with the show!

(Fades out and then fades in to an animated version of the Nerd and his room).

Nerd: Okay, right now, after you're seeing this, you're probably commenting, "Why on Earth is this episode now animated like a PopultureTV episode?" Well, you better thank Lawrence Brovinski for that, and.... We have a guest tonight! He's one of the Popultures, he's a duck, he's the reason why this episode's f**king animated! (opens door) It's Noah Duck- AHHHH!! (Camera pans to see Noah's brother, Henry watching a woman take off her bra while he wears a Speedo, he notices the door open after a split second)

Henry: (screams like a woman while covering the woman's breasts as the Nerd quickly closes the door).

Nerd: Okay, not what I expected. Let's try again. (opens the door to see Noah holding a satchel). It's Noah Duckett, from PopultureTV everybody, let's give it up for Noah! (cheering sounds are heard).

Noah: Thank you, Nerd. (to camera) Now, there is a reason why Mr. Nerd invited me over here, and we both know what it is.

Nerd & Noah: Yeah! (shows satchel full of games for Svensson game consoles, like TurboRacrz, Buddy Blast, Transformers X, and others).

Nerd: To play-

Noah: -the sh*tiest-

Nerd: -games on-

Noah: -every Svensson Electric game console-

Noah & Nerd: -ever...in the history of f**king mankind!

(Intro with a remixed theme by Anderson Bros. Pizza playing, then, a text appears on a black background saying, "Special Thanks to Anderson Bros. Pizza of Sherbetia")

Nerd: Okay everyone, if you don't know what Svensson Electric is, Noah will do the talking since he's Australian-European.

Noah: (to camera) Okay, Svensson Electric was founded in 1947 in Shlaukon distributing consumer electronics and household appliances by what is now and then, the founding father of the Svensson family's success, Alexander Svensson. In 1986, one of the female Svenssons, who was CEO of the company at the time, discovered the ongoing success of the Nintendo Entertainment System worldwide, and wanted to cash in on the market, just like how TechEruo did! And then, they released their SE-8 console, which also gave the birth to one of the world's most beloved video game mascots, Hi-Active!

Nerd: Oh, you mean that loveable bee that never cared for competition against other mascots, just like Svensson's consoles?

Noah: You bet your bloody arse that is! It's even crazier than the time me brother, Henry had a threesome with two brother and sister foxes at a Take That concert in North Korea.

Nerd: Huh. Well, I only know Take That from that one song, but that...is pretty f**ked up! But enough talk, let's play these f**king pieces of sh*t!

Noah: Aight, first up on the sh*t-list is Maxx Thunder and The Curse of Zimbabwe for the SE-8, the very first console ever manufactured by Svensson. Trust me, we're glad Svensson didn't enter the game market by making Pong consoles, and by "we're", I mean the Nerd and I. Now, you may be wondering, "The game's cover and cartridge looks great and has a Saturday Morning cartoon feel to it, kinda like Drake of the 99 Dragons, how could this be bad?"

Nerd: Well, to continue, you're about to find out.

(Noah puts the cartridge into the SE-8 and turns it on; the game starts with a small drumroll, then, when the logo appears a loud high-pitched 8-bit holding trumpet note plays, as the Nerd and Noah cover their ears in frustration)

Nerd: AGH! That f**king trumpet's literally making my eardrums explode due to the animation! (his eardrums literally explode) F**k! Turn it off, turn it off! (Noah turns off the game console)

Noah: What the f**king Shetland was that?!

Nerd: I have absolutely no idea whatso-f**king-ever, but that was the loudest note I've ever heard. To avoid another incident like that, let's turn the TV's volume down to 5% and restart the game. Also, Noah here is gonna use a stopwatch, to see how long the sh*t trumpet holds. (They restart the game; the trumpet hold starts where Noah starts his stopwatch for fifteen seconds until the rest of the theme starts, where Noah stops his stopwatch)

Noah: No... Fifteen seconds.

Nerd & Noah: The sh*tty trumpet holds for exactly fifteen seconds! What the f**k?!