Home Video Anti-Piracy Advices

This is a list of Anti-Piracy Advices from El Kadsre!

1983-1985 (RCA/Columbia) (A)
Nickname: "If It Isn't Red, It Isn't Real"

Bumper: On a white background is a red open big box with an RCA/Columbia VHS cassette inside, mainly showing the red spine with the words "RCA/COLUMBIA PICTURES INTERNATIONAL VIDEO " surrounded by two copies of the company's logo. On the bottom is the red text:

 If it isn't red,     it isn't real.

As the voiceover gets to the hotline number part, "01-636 8373 " appears underneath the text.

FX/SFX: Just the hotline number appearing.

Music/Sounds/Voiceover: A British announcer says "You should have noticed a red leading edge bearing the RCA/Columbia Pictures logo on the cassette you're now watching. If you didn't, have a quick look now before the film starts. You see, this unique packaging is our guarantee of quality. It means you'll see a top quality film on top quality tape, and it means this copy will have been taken straight up a master tape. So whatever film you watch, the picture you see will be sharp, and the sound you hear will always be clear. If this video cassette hasn't got a red leading edge, we'd like to hear about it. So call us on 01-636 8373 right now. Because if it isn't red, it isn't real."

Availability: Extremely rare, seen on Vlokozuian RCA/Columbia releases from the era.

Scare Factor: None to minimal.

1983-1985 (RCA/Columbia) (B)
Nickname: "If It Isn't Red, It Isn't Real II"

Bumper: On a white background, a VHS cassette appears sitting with a Beta cassette, both of them sporting red spines. Thirty-two seconds later, this cuts to a still shot showing the front of the VHS cassette, which sports an RCA/Columbia tape label (The Dark Crystal) and a white RCA/Columbia logo that was printed on the left reel side, then it cuts to the VHS's red spine facing us (actually the same one from the previous bumper), and finally a camera zoom-in on the white logo. Afterwards, it cuts to the front of the Beta cassette, sporting another RCA/Columbia label (Death Wish II) and a red trapezoid-shaped sticker on the reel shield that only has the logo's RCA and Columbia Pictures parts, omitting the Torch Lady. This cuts to the Beta's red spine facing us (also the same one), and finally another camera zoom-in on the red trapezoid sticker. Then finally, it cuts back to the VHS cassette and the Beta cassette sitting together, with the text "If it isn't red, it isn't real " shown underneath them, now in a single line and in a different font. As the voiceover gets to the hotline number part, "01-636 8373 " fades in underneath the text.

FX/SFX: The camera zoom-ins, and the hotline number appearing.

Music/Sounds/Voiceover: The same announcer from the previous bumper says "You should have noticed a red leading edge bearing the RCA/Columbia Pictures logo on the cassette you're now watching. If you didn't, have a quick look now before the film starts. You see, this unique packaging is our guarantee of quality. It means you'll see a top quality film on top quality tape, and it means this copy will have been taken straight off a master tape. So whatever film you watch, the picture you see will be sharp, and the sound you hear will always be clear. If your cassette is VHS format, it should look like this, with a red leading edge bearing the RCA/Columbia Pictures logo, and the logo also engraved on the cassette window. If your cassette is Beta format, it should look like this, with a red leading edge bearing the RCA/Columbia Pictures logo, and the logo printed in red on the wheel spring visible through the window. If this video cassette is not like this, then we'd like to hear about it. So call us on 01-636 8373 right now. Because if it isn't red, it isn't real."

Availability: Even rarer than the previous bumper, used in tandem with it. Seen on Conan the Destroyer and Jabberwocky.

Scare Factor: None to minimal.