Fictional Billy Mays Commercials/Elide Fire Ball

Filmed in 2008, aired in early 2009.

DO NOT CALL THE PHONE NUMBER LISTED!

Transcript

 * (Cut to Billy Mays outside the Elide Fire headquarters)
 * Billy Mays: Hi Billy Mays here! I'm in Thailand today to bring you the most extraordinary invention for fire prevention!
 * (Billy pulls out the Elide Fire Ball)
 * Billy Mays: It's called the Elide Fire Ball!
 * (Cut to the Elide ball being thrown in a flaming pit, exploding and extinguishing the fire)
 * Billy Mays: The fast and easy way to extinguish fires before they grow.
 * (Cut to a woman failing to use a regular fire extinguisher)
 * Billy Mays: Ordinary fire extinguishers are hard to use and leave a toxic residue!
 * (Cut to a flaming bedsheet on a carpet)
 * Billy Mays: This ironing incident can lead to a deadly fire, but with the Elide Fire Ball...
 * (Billy rolls the ball at the pillow, a flame sparks the ball and causes it to explode and release the fire extinguishing content)
 * Billy Mays: ...not anymore!
 * (Cut to a Elide Fire Ball being thrown into a flaming woodpile, then exploding and extinguishing the fire)
 * Billy Mays: No matter if you throw the Elide Fire Ball...
 * (Cut to the Elide Fire Ball being rolled into a flaming inferno of a mockup room, then exploding and extinguishing the fire)
 * Billy Mays: ...or roll the Elide Fire Ball, it will explode and extinguish the fire, fast and very easily!
 * (Cut to a computer simulation of an Elide Fire Ball working when thrown in a firepit)
 * Billy Mays: The secret is in the ball! When you put the fire near or around fire, it ignites the ball, causing it to explode and release the fire extinguishing powder!
 * (Cut to Phanawatnan Kaimart with Billy Mays)
 * Billy Mays: The Elide Fire Ball was invented by Phanawatnan Kaimart!
 * (Cut to footage of the Royal Jomtien Resort fire)
 * Billy Mays: Phanawatnan survived the Royal Jomtien Resort fire, one of Thailand's deadliest fires which killed up to 102 people. And he took his experience into inventing the Elide Fire Ball!
 * (Cut to the Elide Fire Ball in front of the U.S. flag)
 * Billy Mays: And now the Elide Fire Ball is being introduced to the United States!
 * (Cut to six Elide Fire Balls)
 * Billy Mays: Call now and get six Elide Fire Balls for just $19.99!
 * (Five more Elide Fire Balls are added to the stash of Fire Balls)
 * Billy Mays: But if you order in the next five minutes, we'll add five more Elide Fire Balls, enough to stop up to 80 fires, for the same low price!
 * (Nine safety holders are added to the stash)
 * Billy Mays: But I'm not done, we'll even throw in nine safety holders to add in areas where fire is likely to start, also for the same low price of $19.99! And we'll even provide free shipping for your entire order!
 * (Cut to Billy Mays)
 * Billy Mays: Here's how to order!
 * (Cut to the ordering screen)
 * Announcer: To order the Elide Fire Balls, plus safety holders, call 1-800-555-0102 - or send check/money order to Elide Fire Ball - Phoenix Park Business Center, 2 Shaker Rd, Shirley, Massachusetts, 01464. Or log on to www.elidefireballusa.net. Beware of imitators - make sure it's a Elide Fire Ball! Again, call 1-800-555-0102 or send check/money order to Elide Fire Ball - Phoenix Park Business Center, 2 Shaker Rd, Shirley, Massachusetts, 01464. Or log on to www.elidefireballusa.net. Call, log on, or write now!