Everything Wrong with The Land Before Time: The Big City

By CinemaSins

Everything Wrong with The Land Before Time: The Big City

In 19 minutes or less.

Spoilers!!

(duh..)

(Universal, Fox, and Amblin show up)

1. 53 seconds of 3 logos!!!

2. (2012 Universal Pictures logo is shown) Comcast.

3. (2013 20th Century Fox is shown, fanfare plays and Spike comes out of the 0 and hums the fanfare) I'd prefer Ralph Wiggum singing the logo than you.

4. (Rocky: The Earth.) Narration.

5. (All Star plays) Movie steals the opening montage from Shrek. What's next, Saturday Night Fever?

6. Littlefoot and his friends are playing a "soccer" game? It's prehistoric, so I can't make it out.

7. (Littlefoot: Wait a minute, where's Chomper?) How do you not know?! Oh, wait, no GPS, case closed, but it's still a sin.

8. TBA

9. TBA

10. (Austin: Anyway, those leaf eaters are getting fat from eating too much green food.) That's racist. And I forget to mention that THIS IS A F*CKING G RATED MOVIE!

11. Littlefoot's grandparents have bad parenting skills. Geez, reminds of how harsh my mother was.

12. OK, I admit that Spike can talk, but didn't he talk before? I need to re-watch the sequels.

13. (Gang: Guido!) "Characters loudly say another character's name in joy" cliche.

14. Chomper is suddenly worried about his parents. What caused this in the first place? DAMN IT MOVIE, WE NEED ANSWERS!

15.

16. Also,

17. Hey, Jason Marsden... why aren't you animated in the dinosaur world? It feels like Mary Poppins.

18.

19.

20. (Wild Arms: You regret it just 10 seconds into this?!) Yeah, when in reality, it was 5 seconds. Boy, Wild Arms is as dumb as I thought.

21. Also, "characters fight over needing people" cliche.

22. (Hyp: Yeah, well why can't? Nod show some resp-- (Austin comes out of the bushes)) Movie fails to do a proper jump-scare.

23. "Character tries to shoo a bug" cliche.

24. Ali flirts at Littlefoot.

25. Rhett is an idiot to Littlefoot. Also, Discount Nelson Muntz!

26. (Old One: As for you... You've been worse. You made this disturbance.) OK, how did you know that disturbance in the first place?

27. (Mamma Swimmer: You talked! You said your first word! This calls for a celebration. (James Newton Howard's It Comes with A Pool plays) You can't fool that fake-out, movie. James Newton Howard didn't compose this film. Is this movie stealing scores? And isn't that score from that Disney dinosaur film? I'm predicting that Disney is going to sue Universal for copyright infringement.

28. Once again, bad parenting... in a kids movie.

29. (Guido: Well, can you—ooooooooHHHHH MY GAAASSSHHH!!!) That's right, kids, movie is unable to hold in a puke joke for more than 18 minutes. Be a dumbass and scream.

30. (Melanie: Oh my gosh! A jaywalker!) Cloudy with a Chance of Ripoffs.

31. (Guido: [Sighs] I think I need to lay off my lunch. Wild Arms: Yeah. (pukes in bag)) Guys, let's keep at a G rating, please.

32. Well, someone saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit for once.

33. "Character screams at weird newcomers" cliche. Jesus, is this film going to be filled with cliches?

34. (Wild Arms crashes into a light post) "Cartoon character crashes into something and we see stars (in this case, pterodactyls) on top of his head" cliche.

35. (Wild Arms: D'oh! I get it.) Discount Homer Simpson.

36. (Wild Arms: Etta! How did you get to New York? IN THE 21ST CENTURY?!?) Wild Arms would be excellent at CinemaSins.

37. Here's Jessie, a stereotypical Texas woman, NOW THIS MOVIE IS OFFENDING TEXAINS?!?! THAT'S 2 SINS!!!!

39. (Mutt's stomach growls) Movie tricks us into believing the sharptooth made that sound.

40. Also, you would've told me that this movie made nearly 2 billion dollars worldwide, and WAS THE HIGHEST-GROSSING FILM OF 2018 AND MADE MORE MONEY THAN THE INCREDIBLES 2!!!!

41. A113 reference as seen in virtually every Pixar movie.

42. An average apartme-- OH MY GOD, IS THAT AN XBOX ONE?!!?! LET'S PLAY SOME FORZA HORIZON!!!!!

43. (Wild Arms falls onto a table) Still a sin besides the amazing special effects in this scene.

44. (Boris Lang: GET OUT OF MY WAY!) What an epic entrance! I'm taking off a sin for that.

43. (Strut: You mean that Evil Projector?) Discount LEGO Batman Movie.

44. (Boris kicks Strut's butt) Damn, this G rated movie is trying to stick the middle finger at the censors and the MPAA.

45. Dinosaurs don't smoke. Jesus, this film is not appropriate for a G. WHY DID THE MPAA ASSIGN IT A G INSTEAD OF A PG???

46. (TBA) Doc Ex-Machina.

47. Also, how did Doc get to New York? This movie fails to do backstories. TBA.

48. (Guido: (flying) Well, if for someone who knew where I can hit the... (hits his head on the wall)) Why don't you look where you're going?! Was it an animation mistake or did Klasky-Csupo did it on purpose?

49. (Ducky: Aw, you poor little guy. Guido: (widens his eyes a bit, acting cute) [Baby Talk] Well, I hoirt my poor, widdle head. (blinks for added effect)) OK...I admit that, this s*it is adorable right here. Removing a sin!

48. Guido is somehow dodging cars and went to the Prometheus School of Dodging Things.

49. Truck horn sound effect heard in virtually every cartoon car chase. And crash lands into the alley, where Shorty was watching. Man, this movie is TRYING to be more funny that cartoon physics work.

50. Discount Daffy and Donald Duck piano duel.

51. (Ruby slips and fell on the floor and the people start laughing at her) "Character does something unexpected and everyone except the main characters laugh at her" cliche.

52. Don Bluth movie fails to be dark. Dammit, Don Bluth, why can't you make this dark like you did in the first film!?

53. (Austin: I'm get a secret for in the ear... I DON'T MAKE DEALS WITH LEAF-EATERS!) Savage. And also, not helping your friend.

54. Hey, Petrie! Why were you crying while hugging Pterano?

55. (Pterano: My boy, I'm so happy to see you again!) What's with Pterano's voice? He sounds like Wheatley with a British accent. And what the hell happened to his original actor from the 7th movie? TBA.

56. (Shorty farts) Potty humor and fart jokes, because you know... comedy.

57.

58.

59. Bron and the grown-ups find a portal in a middle of nowhere. Which is some bulls*it.

60. Cliff Mars reminds me of Biff from Back to The Future.

61.

62. Tim Curry's character is a cyborg. So how did they make him? Did they

63. Rhett is an idiot to Littlefoot, again.

64. (Ozzy: Because I'm bad, I'm bad come on, You know I'm bad) Somehow a f*cking cartoon dinosaur can shake his groin. And there is no way they bullied the 14 dinosaurs and the humans while playing a Michael Jackson song from the 3rd film.

65. Damon Wayans Jr.'s character gets hit in the balls, Example #1,000.

66. This movie is like 134 minutes, without counting the credits, is it longer than Star Wars?!

67. Are those Cera's twins? TBA.

68. Tippy, an unneeded character appears.

69. (Littlefoot: Ah-CHOO!) GODDAMN IT, ENOUGH WITH THE POTTY HUMOR! Oh, he sneezed. Never mind. But still a sin.

70. 2 hour 19 minute movie TBA.

71. The grown-ups meet up with Doc, who decides to keep the Gang of 14 a secret from the grown-ups.

72. (Big Daddy: Well, I won't back down) We interrupt this movie to bring you a Tom Petty music video and Barnyard. 73. Lizzie TBA

74. God,

75. Why the f*ck TBA.

76. We interrupt this movie to bring you that hallucination scene from Madagascar.

77. Wild Arms is being an idiot and dances to probably the most overrated dance of all time. (Chicken Dance plays)

78. Littlefoot and Ali are in love?! What is he gonna... WHAT THE HELL?!!!?

79. (Love Me I Can Do plays) "Love song during a love scene" cliche.

80. These assholes don't spot Littlefoot and his friends, witch they escaped from an secret hatch, and Rocky is like, "I'm going to go, bye!".

81. (Littlefoot: No. [Sobbing] Grandma...) Homesick already? it's been 2 days.

82. Rocky takes the 14 dinosaurs around New York, and no one notices because the movie wants to wait for the big truth and unreal. TBA

83. Curious George in the zoo.

84. (Man on TV: When you have Mentos on a Diet Coke. [Coke explodes] Memes.

85. Ruby cries, with her face on the table. TBA

86.

87. (Austin: All right, Keith, Claire let's go find your son Chomper and we all can get the hell out of here!) Seriously? You had to say that in a G rated movie?!

88. Etta TBA

89.

90. (Chomper bites Cliff in the leg) Cliff Mars: YYYYEEEEAAAAAAOOOOWWWWWW!!!!) Chomper Ex-Machina.

91. Also, that wound is quite bloody for a G rated movie, I'm taking off 5 sins for that.

86. Ozzy tells Strut to turn the power on

87. (Strut: When did they had a great sale on salad?) TBA.

88.

89.

90.

91. Yeah, Steven Spielberg cameo. But still a sin.

92. These action scenes are fun in this movie. If this were a Marvel movie, TBA

93. (Mutt fights Boris' robots) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Bigmouth eat you robotic heart out!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

92. Boris' men don't hit the tires, TBA

93. Chris,

94. Where the hell did the Evil Projector go? It's not in Rocky's truck, and it would be hard to carry it around.

95. And Littlefoot and his friends still doesn't have the Evil Projector until MAGICALLY, they're holding it for the whole time!

96. (Littlefoot sends Boris Lang to the Mysterious Beyond) TBA.

97. (Ali: Why can't we stay here? For better or worse, we're with you until... Littlefoot: I CAN'T LOSE YOU AGAIN! (pause) I can't... Not again.) Did I ever mention that Disney is going to sue Universal?

98. How did Littlefoot get to Central Park? Is he trying to run away to get home?

99. (Melanie: That is just not fair that they should stay hidden? Rocky: IT'S FOR THEIR PROTECTION!!!!) TBA

100.

101.

102.

103.

104.

105.

106. This late night talk show intro of the sharpteeth from the Mysterious Beyond is just for the people. It makes no sense in the movie that Boris can do this. Or that the sharpteeth would agree to wait and escape back to Earth.

107. (Boris: What a crew, eh, Strut? (high fives Strut) TBA.