Rescue the Matryoshka/transcript

Chief (off screen): "All of these people really wanna know: where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"

Sean, Barry and Scott: Where in the world is

Elliot: Carmen Sandiego?

Chief (off screen): "and 1 of these people can find her."

Announcer: "Iain Armitage from Atlanta, Georgia,"

[Crowd Cheering Wildly]

Announcer: "Brooklyn Prince from Tallahassee, Florida,"

[Crowd Cheering Wildly Again]

Announcer: "and Seth Carr from Anaheim, California."

[Crowd Cheering Wildly Again]

Chief (off screen): "And here comes your host and ACME's senior agent in charge of new recruits: Darren Criss."

Host: "Thanks a bunch for being here, today, everybody. I can hardly wait to solve more mysteries with you guys. Chief, what's the news?"

The Chief's office
Chief: "Gumshoes. Carmen Sandiego and her crazy gang of villains have struck again. this time in Moscow, Russia, best known for a popular doll figure called the Matryoshka, which of course was a nesting doll from around 1980, it had been displayed at a local shop window 'til today,"

Sean, Barry, Scott and Elliot: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Chief (off screen): "When Patty Larceny, that sneaky school girl, snuck right into the shop, grabbed the Matryoshka and walked right off with it. today's mystery: Rescue the Matryoshka."

Chief: "Your mission, Gumshoes, is to catch Patty Larceny, return the Matryoshka to Moscow, Russia and catch Carmen Sandiego."

Back to the Host and the Gumshoes
Host: "Thanks a bunch, Chief. alright, you guys heard about the case, and we're gonna begin with 50 ACME crime bucks [Dinging Sounds] any single time you answer the questions correctly, we can give you 10 more crime bucks, and the 2 of you with the highest score, will be prepared for the next round, alright? so, Chief, what's new?"

Chief: "Darren. Patty Larceny has stolen the Matryoshka and there's no time to lose. here's the profile on Patty."

Sean Barry, Scott and Elliot: P-P-P Patty

Chief (off screen): "She's a fashionable teenage school girl and super beautiful."

Back to the Host and the Gumshoes again
Host (speaking to the chief): "Alright, Chief. now you told us."

Host: "Alright, you guys, name the South American Nation, is it Ecuador? Bolivia? or Brazil? now, Iain, what do you say?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I pick Bolivia."

Host: "That's good, what do you think, Brooklyn?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "I choose Bolivia."

Host: "Super good. Seth?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "I pick Bolivia."

Host: "Oh yeah, Bolivia, the answer we're looking for is Bolivia, nice job you guys."

[Crowd Cheering Wildly]

Host: "Oh yeah, nice job, you guys, that's where they begin this thing off, we're gonna take a little bit of time here to think about the questions and answers."

Host: "Iain, you have such a wonderful collection, tell all of us about it."

Gumshoe Number 1: "I like to collect Lego Mini Figures."

Host: "Good, super good. now how 'bout you, Brooklyn?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "I collect pet rocks."

Host: "Nice, super nice. next clue, we turn over to Bugs Bunny."

Cartoon Animated Clip: Bugs Bunny
Bugs: I'm a ca'toon animated rabbit and I really enjoy doin' all sawhts of crazy tings. and dat Patty La'ceny really annoys me as well too. she's he'e in Paris, France. and in fact, she's at de exact same location spot whe'e a paintin' called Roccoco was done by Jean Honawhé Fragonard. so get down dere and catch Patty. alright?"

Back to the Host and the Gumshoes again
Host: "Alright, Bugs. thanks a bunch. okay, name the regions of Europe. is it Paris, France? Berlin, Germany? or Rome, Italy? the 1st round that everybody got went super good. Iain, what do you think?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "Paris, France."

Host: "Brooklyn?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "I chose Paris, France."

Host: "Seth?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Paris, France."

Host: "And so everybody chose Paris, France. you guys were absolutely right all along. nice job, you guys."

[Victory Sound Alarm Going Off]

Host: "Oh yeah. you knew all of those things. so Iain, you went right up to 89, so did Brooklyn and so did Seth. nice job. you guys did-"

[Knock On Door]

Host: "Uh, yeah. just 1 minute."

The host opens the door and the delivery man enters.

Delivery Man: "Here's your delivery."

Host: Oh, yes, that's right, could you please set it down right about here?"

The delivery man sets the dictionary right down at its usual spot.

Host: "Perfect, thanks a bunch."

Host: "Okay, Gumshoes, name the country, if you would please, is it Uruguay? Peru or Asia? alright. Iain's prepared, so's Brooklyn and so's Seth. Iain, we'll begin with you. what do you say?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I pick Peru."

Host: "Peru. now, Brooklyn."

Gumshoe Number 2: "I choose Uruguay."

Host: "Uruguay. now, Seth."

Gumshoe Number 3: "I pick Asia."

Host: "Asia. the answer we're looking for is Asia. nice job."

[Crowd Cheering Wildly]

Host: "That sound means it's time for the Lightning Round, which means all of these questions had to do with Patty's most recent known whereabouts in Asia, every single 1 is worth 9 crime bucks, alright here we go: In a very big country, there's a world's popular chocolate snack, and Swiss cheese."

[Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Iain."

Gumshoe Number 1: "Switzerland."

Host: "Switzerland's correct. now on to question number 2. He was a French military leader and emperor who conquered much of Europe in the early 19th century."

[More Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Brooklyn?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "Napoleon Bonaparte."

Host: "Napoleon Bonaparte's correct. nice job. now on to question # 3: In Mexico, there's a real tasty treat made there, cheeseburgers? beef and cheese tacos? or rigatoni?"

[More Buzzer sounds]

Host: "Yes, Seth/"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Beef and cheese tacos."

Host: "Beef and cheese tacos is right, nice job, alright, so the end of 3 questions, Iain got 82, Brooklyn got 79 and Seth got 97. super good job, Gumshoes, that's the way to do it, uh-"

(Brief pause)

Host: "You know, I kinda got the feeling right now that the Chief is probably calling me in right about now."

Chief (on television screen): "Darren. please come in my office right away."

Host: "Alright, I'll be right over there. you guys take super good care, I'll go check to see what she wants. [Chuckles A Bit] I wonder what she'd like to speak about."

The Host enters the Chief's office.........

Host: "Yeah, Chief? what is it?"

Chief: "Now, Darren. you and the Gumshoes have been half across the universe, and you still haven't found-"

Host: "Patty and Carmen Sandiego."

Chief: "That's exactly right."

Host: "Yeah right."

Chief: "Well, you need to get your act together as always."

Host: "or we're never gonna find them."

The Host exits the Chief's office and goes back to the 3 Gumshoes.

Host: "So remember, we're looking for Patty Larceny and trying to get back that Matryoshka, so most importantly, ACME Budnet has just provided all of us with a telephone conversation between Patty and Carmen Sandiego, listen super carefully."

Patty Larceny: (on the telephone) "I know I grabbed this Matryoshka, but it's taking a couple of hours to get to the exact location, Carmen."

Carmen Sandiego: (on the other telephone) "Never mind that, Patty, those ACME agents are gaining up on you, head for a group of Denmark Islands in the South Atlantic."

Patty Larceny: (on the telephone) "But I'm a bit hungry."

Carmen Sandiego: (on the other telephone) "Well, I think you're in luck, these North Atlantic islands are full of fresh fish and seafood dinner meals."

Patty Larceny: (on the telephone) "Seafood dinner meals? that sounds yummy good and tasty."

Carmen Sandiego: (on the other telephone) "Those Gumshoes are gonna make a dinner meal outta you if you don't hurry up and get going."

End telephone conversation.........

Host: "Alright, Gumshoes, name the island group: is it Cape Verde Islands? Canary Islands? or Christmas Islands?"

[Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Iain?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I pick Canary Islands."

Host: "How 'bout you, Brooklyn?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "I choose Canary Islands."

Host: "Seth?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Canary Islands."

Host: "Canary Islands, the answer we're looking for is Canary Islands. nice job, Gumshoes. [Crowd Cheering And Applauding] alright, so that means Iain has 96, Brooklyn has 85 and Seth has 77. nice job, you guys. now unfortunately, it looks like Patty has completely disappeared, which is super easy when she's super sneaky."

Mysterious Man: "Well, she went to a place that's full of penguins and polar bears, now get on over there and catch her."

Host: "Alright, thanks a bunch."

Host: "Okay, Gumshoes. name the state. is it Antarctica? Texas? or Colorado? we'll begin with all of you. now, Iain, what do you say?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I say Antarctica."

Host: "Brooklyn?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "Antarctica."

Host: "Seth?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Antarctica."

Host: "Antarctica. the answer we're looking for is Antarctica. super good job, you guys. [More Cheering And Applauding] alright. that means Iain, you have 103, Brooklyn, you have 105 and Seth, you have 138. nice job, you guys. what a super tight game, I think it's time to pick up-"

Sean, Barry, Scott and Elliot: Ohhhhhhhh, the chaaaaase

Host: "All I'm gonna give you is 6 crime bucks, hands on your buzzers, please, watch the monitor screen and listen super closely, here we go: Patty took the Matryoshka to Rome, name the state she's in."

[More Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Iain?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "Italy."

Host: "Italy's correct."

Host: "Austin's a place for country music and square dancing. name the country."

[Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Brooklyn?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "Texas."

Host: "Texas is right."

Host: "St. Paul's a place for the Grand Mound and making good walleye fish there, name the state."

[More Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Seth?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "Minnesota."

Host: "Minnesota's correct. that means at the end of the chase round, Iain has 88, Brooklyn has 75 and Seth has 97. nice job. [More Cheering And Applauding] wow. you guys did super incredible. now it's time for the final clue round, which means you need to decide how much you want the risk. if you're correct, we'll put them up to your score. but if you're not correct, we'll take it away from your score. as your risk, you can risk 31, 46, 55 or 64 ACME crime bucks. now if you all look right over here, please, here's a portion of the universe where we think Patty might be headed. now we turn over to Meryl Streep, a recruiter from ACME Universe, watch."

Guest Star: "Gumshoes. Patty's in a super big city town. that's all I'm telling you guys."

Host: "Thanks a bunch, Meryl."

Host: "Iain, do you recognize her? that voice for a certain character?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "Yes. that's her. Felicity Fox in Fantastic Mr. Fox."

Host: "Absolutely right. now name the city town if you can please. is it New Jersey? San Francisco or New York City?"

[Buzzer Sounds]

Host: "Yes, Iain?"

Gumshoe Number 1: "I pick San Francisco."

Host: "San Francisco's not the answer we're looking for. so we're going down 37. but this isn't over just yet. now, Brooklyn?"

Gumshoe Number 2: "I choose New Jersey."

Host: "New Jersey's correct. nice job. [Sounds Of Cheering And Applauding] alright, Seth. how much did you risk?"

Gumshoe Number 3: "48 crime bucks."

Host: "48 crime bucks. that means 2 of you guys are going for the next round. congratulations. way to go."

[Crowd Cheering And Applauding Again]

Host: "Iain. listen, buddy. you're a super good detective. you did some wonderful things for a trip that's gonna help you on the next case. hey, Chief."

Chief: "We got the official ACME Crime Net travel kit, and this includes an Atlas for world travelers [More Sounds Of Cheering And Applauding], an official Carmen Sandiego digital watch, a Carmen Sandiego t-shirt, a super national world geographic magazine and this handy universe globe."

Host: "Alright, you guys need to go to the main continent and track down Patty Larceny and bring back the Matryoshka, so you need to go find them and bring them back. Chief, what do you say?"