Phelan Morkel/Quotes

"I was a member of both Camp Fire USA and the Boy Scouts as a child. While the Boy Scouts are all woodsy and teach you to tie a knot in a infinite number of ways, Camp Fire USA is more or less a shadow of it's former self... the Camp Fire Girls."

- 2004 interview for The Baltimore Sun

"I can't "pull-no-punches" since I failed the Presidential Fitness Test at least 5 times."

- 2004 interview for The Baltimore Sun

"Q: If you'd want to meet any historical figure, which would it be? Phelan Morkel: Maybe 's parents, and convince them not to have kids."

- 2020 Reddit AMA

"Robot Chicken once again proves that the First Amendment and fair use laws were a mistake."

- Twitter post, August 16, 2019