Hospital Sickness/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the upcoming Steven Spielberg Presents: Caleb! episode, "Hospital Sickness".

Original Broadcast Version
(We fade to a close up of Cristal laying in a hospital bed, coughing with a towel on her forehead.)

Cristal: (coughs) Why am I so sick? *sigh* There must be a logical explanation for this. (hears sick bird sounds) What the hell was that?

(We pan out to reveal Alisa Feathers laying next to her, also with a towel on her forehead.)

Cristal: Alisa Feathers?

Alisa: *cough* Oh, hey Cristal.

Cristal: You're sick too?

Alisa: Yeah. *cough cough*

Cristal: *cough* Ugh, Katrel!

Katrel: (comes in) What, my dear friend, what?

Cristal: Why are Alisa and I so sick?

Katrel: Um, uh we have the, we have, our doctors working on it now, okay? We'll find out why you two are sick, okay?

Alisa: *sniff sniff* Isn't there any cure too?

Katrel: Okay, well, we're working on a cure as we speak. We have the best doctors working on a cure, right now.

(The scene skips to the doctor's office, Max Andrew is seen with a rubix cube on his hands.)

Max Andrew: Hmmm, yeah, well, my medical opinion on this here rubix cube, is that if I were to solve this, using, this formula right here, (points to the paper of a math equation that says "2 + 2 x heart disease to the power of AIDS = wiping out world hunger") it would cure cancer, heart disease, AIDS, world hunger, the works!

Larry: Really?

Max Andrew: (looks at the equation) Hmm, looks like it. So I believe this is what I'm gonna try to do. (starts trying to solve the Rubix Cube) Aw, come on!

(Intro)

(We fade to Cameron sitting on the computer, watching "543,210 Dominoes - Domino Land - 3 Guinness World Records | 4K" on YouTube. MauKittyCat walks in.)

MauKittyCat: (pats Cameron's hair) Cam. Hey, Cam. Caam! (Cameron turns to her) Whatcha watching?

Cameron: Just some record-breaking dominoes video. This has 543,210 dominoes- 543,210...dominoes! Fall down, and this holds 3 Guinness World Records. This has to be a world record!

MauKittyCat: Well, me and Kate have boxes, literally boxes of dominoes up in our rooms. I thought we would like to take them down here and show you. (shouts for Kate) Hey Kate, we're gonna recreate a domino record!

Kate: (off-screen) Really?

MauKittyCat: Yeah...

Kate: (laughs crazily) Well, whatta you know? We're gonna recreate a domino record! Whoo-hoo!

(Transition to the next scene, Cameron opens one of the domino boxes and turns it over, tipping all of the dominoes out.)

More coming soon!

Extended DVD Version
(We fade to inside a store; Pat Feathers and Jamie Feathers, Alisa's parents, walk in and Jamie starts looking through a pharmacy.)

Pat: Excuse me? Do you have any medicine for our poor little daughter?

Microsoft Sam: Whatta you mean, your "poor little daughter"?

Pat: Our daughter, Alisa. Alisa Feathers. I'm afraid she's stuck in the hospital with type A flu, and we're seeking medication to bring to her.

Microsoft Sam: (smiles) Oh, I get it now! You must be the parents of Alisa Feathers, aren't you?

Jamie: (comes towards the counter) Yes!

Microsoft Sam: Oh, and you must be that fox girl Jamie. And I can see that you got some over-the-counter medication, haven't you?

Jamie: *nods*

Microsoft Sam: Oh really! (gets out two bottles of a water-like substance) Well, try out these two bottles of liquid medicine, won't you?

Jamie and Pat: (in unison) Okay!

(Jamie and Pat start chugging down the bottles of medicine. After a few seconds, we pan down to Pat's midsection where her belly suddenly growls and vibrates in a cartoonish fashion, and she pats on it and presses on her navel. As for Jamie's belly, it growls and vibrates as well and she starts rubbing it and moving her hand around her midsection.)

Pat: So, how is it?

Jamie: Umm, I don't really know. It's making my tummy rumble all of the sudden.

Pat: Mm, mine too. (turns to Sam) Um, cashier?

Microsoft Sam: Huh?

Pat: What's this funny feeling in our tummies?

Microsoft Sam: (smiles) Oh I dunno. Must be some weird ingredients in the medicine that I can't remember. Hahahahahahahahahahah soi soi soi soi rofl rofl rofl rofl!

(Jamie takes the bottle out of her mouth and she and Pat both get looks of shock for a moment.)

Jamie: Uh...oh. (gags, puts her hands to her mouth)

Pat: Jamie? Are you... (gags and puts her hands on her mouth too)

Microsoft Sam: Damn it! Not again! (picks up the microphone) Uh, clean up in aisles 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

(In the middle of Sam counting down from 5 to 1, Jamie and Pat, now holding their vomit, turns their eyes to each other and stay that way for 2.5 seconds. As soon as Sam stops counting, we cut to outside the store. Outside, we see vomit splatter the windows and glass doors during loud, muffled retching made by Jamie and Pat.)

(Intro)

(We fade to a close up of Cristal laying in a hospital bed, coughing with a towel on her forehead.)

Cristal: (coughs) Why am I so sick? *sigh* There must be a logical explanation for this. (hears sick bird sounds) What the hell was that?

(We pan out to reveal Alisa Feathers laying next to her, also with a towel on her forehead.)

Cristal: Alisa Feathers?

Alisa: *cough* Oh, hey Cristal.

Cristal: You're sick too?

Alisa: Yeah. *cough cough*

Cristal: *cough* Ugh, Katrel!

Katrel: (comes in) What, my dear friend, what?

Cristal: Why are Alisa and I so sick?

Katrel: Um, uh we have the, we have, our doctors working on it now, okay? We'll find out why you two are sick, okay?

Alisa: *sniff sniff* Isn't there any cure too?

Katrel: Okay, well, we're working on a cure as we speak. We have the best doctors working on a cure, right now.

(The scene skips to the doctor's office, Max Andrew is seen with a rubix cube on his hands.)

Max Andrew: Hmmm, yeah, well, my medical opinion on this here rubix cube, is that if I were to solve this, using, this formula right here, (points to the paper of a math equation that says "2 + 2 x heart disease to the power of AIDS = wiping out world hunger") it would cure cancer, heart disease, AIDS, world hunger, the works!

Larry: Really?

Max Andrew: (looks at the equation) Hmm, looks like it. So I believe this is what I'm gonna try to do. (starts trying to solve the Rubix Cube) Aw, come on!

(We fade to a black screen.)

Text: Meanwhile...

(We fade to Cameron sitting on the computer, watching "543,210 Dominoes - Domino Land - 3 Guinness World Records | 4K" on YouTube. MauKittyCat walks in.)

MauKittyCat: (pats Cameron's hair) Cam. Hey, Cam. Caam! (Cameron turns to her) Whatcha watching?

Cameron: Just some record-breaking dominoes video. This has 543,210 dominoes- 543,210...dominoes! Fall down, and this holds 3 Guinness World Records. This has to be a world record!

MauKittyCat: Well, me and Kate have boxes, literally boxes of dominoes up in our rooms. I thought we would like to take them down here and show you. (shouts for Kate) Hey Kate, we're gonna recreate a domino record!

Kate: (off-screen) Really?

MauKittyCat: Yeah...

Kate: (laughs crazily) Well, whatta you know? We're gonna recreate a domino record! Whoo-hoo!

(Transition to the next scene, Cameron opens one of the domino boxes and turns it over, tipping all of the dominoes out.)

More coming soon!