Damnen

Damnen is a land-locked territory in the upper section of Ecken. It is home to three million people. The state has beautiful geography ranging from Mount Fitosis to Bend Canyon.

Prehistoric times
Around 3000 B.C., five humans got lost at sea. They drank seawater from a wooden contraption that removed salt until they reached an island what is now called Ecken. They walked to find Egypt, but they landed in Damnen instead. Damnen was south of a territory that had a coast. By about 2700 B.C., there were 12 generations living here. The dead were buried in a cemetery spot (KZ38) below Bend Canyon.

1500s colonization
In December 1501, there was a shipwreck and the men on the boat found Ecken a few days later. Due to previous exploration, there were hundreds of humans already. By then, the men were starving. The men tried to teach the children and adults how to write, but they wrote in hieroglyphics. The men realized this was a scientific opportunity and taught them to write in Early Modern English. In early 1503, they were finished and they were taken to the men's country. However, the men died because they drank seawater, and they sent messages in bottles in Early Modern English. It drifted in the ocean until 1510, when someone curiously found it and managed to rescue them. The rescuer was a friend of those men and got all of the hieroglyphics. In 1514, the Egyptian pyramids were decoded using those children.

In 1532, Damnen was rediscovered by someone sending a message in a bottle. The message in a bottle was used to study hydrostatics, a branch of fluid mechanics, which in turn was a branch of physics. Damnen was claimed by the Asians and United States, though they engaged in a war and there were 1 million casualties. Pereant became settled due to the sun hitting the trees and providing warm sunlight to the houses. A 19 year old man named Tut wrote in his diary (March 17, 1533, Volume 45): "These children adore my ancient alabaster jars. I hath gotten them from an Asian soldier who had hurt his Legge badly.". In late 1533, explorers from Pereant stumbled to a forest and discovered more people were there. They got clay souvenirs and Pereant was amazed by the beautiful artwork in the souvenirs that an urban legend says that they gazed upon it forever until their death. In August 1534, Brazilians explored the country and Damnen went from about fifty thousand people to seventy thousand people.

About 70 years later, William Shakespeare went to Damnen and performed his play "Henry VI, Part 3" there. Tut said in volume 542 in his diary: "William Shakespere (sic) Performed at Damnen today. His Play was Henry VI, Part 3. I loved his Performance of the Play. And yet methinks your Grace hath not done well. From Tut." The "And yet methinks your Grace hath not done well" was a quote from William Shakespeare. Damnen was very good, despite the fact that it was a territory on the Asian and El Kadsreian island of Ecken.

El Kadsre took over Damnen a few days before that, and it was considered an El Kadsreian island until 3 days after William Shakespeare's performance. Tut wrote in volume 543, page 2, of his diary: "Methinks that El Kadsre has Declared that Ecken is not part of them anymore. Grace hath done well, contradicting what I hath said in the Last Volume, Volume 543.".

Tut dies
Tut was an important figure for all of Damnen's schools, since Tut had a lot of diaries from 1527-1603. On December 29, 1602, 3 days before his death when a New Year's firework landed in his mouth, he wrote in volume 571, page 168: "Methinks that New Year's is coming. Oh, New Year! 1603 is the Year when I will turn 89! I will turn 89 on January 3rd. Yay! -- from Tut, December 29th, 1602". He wrote his last entry on January 1, 1603 at Volume 572, page 10-23, and he described how cheerful it was. The diary was interrupted by the firework at Volume 572, page 23 (V572P23): "A firework came bouncing at me during the choir. The Lawes of Damnen did not allow us to move during this, and the firework landed in my mouth before it exploded...NO! I'M DYING!". Tut's diary abruptly ended. The next day, Tut's 3 grown-up children (Richard, Philip, Anne) and wife (Agnes) wanted to make diaries.

Their diaries started on January 3, 1603, at Volume 572, page 24. Richard said: "Today I read my father Tut's will. Hath we not read his will, I would hath not known that, in his will, he bequeath'd ownership of our House to me. It has been two days since Tut's death. I am Richard, Tut's eldest son. We walk'd around the Gardens of the House and I look'd at the Petunias, but my mother, Agnes, kept us walking. We saw poore men living near our House but dismiss'd it.". Phillip, Anne, and Agnes had similar descriptions too. Their first diary entries ended at Volume 572, page 61.

The Damnen Purchase
On January 2, 1603, Feindbéis Aagot Machensson, Tut's diary enemy, got revenge on him by making himself a legal entity ("LegalEntity(Feindbéis)" in Damnen's History in Code (DHIC)) and declaring the Damnen Purchase ("appendChild(Damnen)" and "var purchase=1" in DHIC) upon Damnen. Ecken's other territories rushed to save them, but they were too late. Damnen was now a Machenssonian island. The Machenssonians were grateful that Feindbéis gifted Damnen to them.

Howeve, in an attempt to get Damnen back, Ecken annexed Damnen in March 1603. The Damnen Annexation Constitution was created and they sent it to Feindbéis. It was slow, and they received Feindbéis's reply on June 1, 1603. Feindbéis said that he constituted the policy and that they should have it back when he dies. Feindbéis was only 87 and in healthy condition, but when Feindbéis was sleeping on October 5, 1603, Feindbéis was attacked by Damnen and was killed. They put seawater into his body so that the royal autopsy would say that he died of seawater poisoning. Their plan worked, and Ecken was glad to have Damnen back. But the Constitution of Damnen was missing.

Meanwhile, Machenssonians were figuring out who killed their leader. They were sure that the killer had Damnen ancestry and wanted their territory back. The only piece of evidence they had was this piece of paper: "To Die, to sleep, is that all?". They went into Damnen, searching for the Shakespeare book it was from. Nothing was found. It is said that Richard killed Feindbéis. That is true, as Richard said (in Volume 595, page 129): "I lower'd toward ready-to-Die but asleepe (sic) Machensson and aim'd my Leg at him. "Target reach'd.", I soliloquy'd to Mesels (sic, meant Meself but changed to "Mesels" because of long s confusion). I kick'd him and put seawater to Poison him. This was a Goode and successful Plan."

On October 21, 1603, Walter Blow published his first play, named "The Killing of Machensson". It was 318,587 words long and it had 367 pages (a modern version is usually 1,836 pages). The Machensson Declaration of Independence was sadly read during Machensson's funeral on October 23, 1603. His casket was carried along, with seawater spilled all over him (Agnes writes in Volume 601, page 5 that "Machjnfvn (sic) had bvrst wjth seawater spjll'd all ouer hjm, and hjs Fvte (sic) was stvcke jn hjs Cvfsjn (sic, originally coffin but supposed to be casket)"). Machensson was finally dead ("var Machensson = 0" in DHIC).

The next day, Ecken created the Annexed Constitution of Damnen and Oeria. Oeria was a mistake, and they became rivals because of their same population size. The Ecken Congress wrote a law to forbid it, but (this event is in Volume 604, page 37) the President of Ecken threw the bill in the trash when spilling his authentic goat tea in it. The Ecken Congress sent a letter to the foreign goat tea manufacturer and made a law that goat tea was banned. (One of Richard's relatives was from a different country and was able to sent fresh goat tea to them.) Teamaids lost their jobs and became milkmaids. Richard was discovered drinking goat tea in public, however he was not arrested due to his diary (in Volume 610, page 104).

Meanwhile, Agnes wrote this (Volume 610, page 141): "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.". They got the idea to write a Bible from the content of Tut's diary. The idea was described in Volume 612, page 24: "Suddenly, I got an idea. I could make a Bible out of Tut's diary! I discuss'd it to Richard, Anne, and Agnes.". It is said that Phillip got the idea for it, and it is true, because it omits Phillip in that excerpt from Volume 612, page 24. The Bible started production around the time Volume 634, page 165 was written.

Tut's Bible
The first entries of Tut's Bible was this (Tut Genesis 1:1): "Thy hath Me Diarie. Me will use thy Diarie evry Day in Me Life from thou Daye in 1527. Me eies gaze upon my Newe Diarie, and Me knowe that Me shall use it until me pithe causes Me Death & Me Dies. Me wanted to share how Me get thou art Diarie." Tut Genesis 1:2 is this: "At thou Booke-seller, a brand newe Diarie gazed to Me eyes. It scream'd doth hath to Me shulde hath thye Diarie. Me go'd to begge Me Mother as somme (sic, some) Figge leafes (sic) land'd in Thye Booke (thou Diarie). While Me Mother agr'd (agreed) to Me doth Begges to Buye thye Diarie, & hath thou Daye soe (sic) hath thys end'd up in Me's thou art Handes. Me loue thys Diarie.". The bible had "Gratia primilegio docet caelo cognoscas Deo." on its title page.

Around this time, the village of Skinner was founded. It only had a couple of houses but peasants were regularly brought here for finding land, and since the land was good at growing crops, peasants populated Skinner, and it became a town in late 1605. The sayings "The properties of peas in ham are good" and "Three brothers shred wet fern lights" originated in sermons (February 15, 1606) from St. Tifton's Church around Damnen. Paul Truman and Walter Blow worked with each other to make a play called "Peasants of Thee!" a few months after. Around that time, peasants started to make goat tea farms (Volume 679, page 77 in Tut's Diary which was renamed to "The Odafiro Diary" a few weeks before: "I spott'd a goat tea farme near the Towne of Skinner. It was cleare to me that borne was thys Farme thee held ye bann'd goat tea in Damnen, Ecken."). Shortly after, chicken laid eggs in goat tea. The strange behaviour was noticed, but they noticed when a chicken laid an egg in goat tea, it exploded within a 2 meter radius and soon after, yolks were all over the place. However, on June 29, 1606, a chicken laid a large egg. When the egg hatched, it was a normal chick. But, at around three weeks of age, the chick's head started to turn white, and then the chick's legs started to grow and the body started growing and surpassed the average size of a grown chicken. Suddenly, it ate grass and made eggs full of goat cheese instead of yolks. The eggs full of goat cheese were called sowre eggs, since the goat cheese inside of the eggs were noted to have a tangier taste than normal goat cheese. But the Damnen sea limes were the tangiest.

The Goat-Chick
At about seven weeks and three days of age, on September 19, 1606, as the peasants were carrying the new goat tea, there appeared what was large and was partially covered in chicken feathers. It was a goat-chick! The goat-chick dropped a large egg with yellow goat cheese. The yellow goat cheese made on that day exceeded the Damnen sea lime on the Stockbridge scale (a scale that measured how sour and salty a thing was). The yellow goat cheese was about 1,500,000 Stockbridge tangy units (STU). A day after, the goat-chick laid another egg filled with tangier goat cheese. The goat-chick laid three eggs on that day. One was saved for science purposes. That one hatched on November 27, 1606, being a yellow goat. During the last few days of it being inside an egg, the egg became worn out and developed massive bumps. The massive bumps were actually goat cheese eggs. The newborn's goat cheese inside those eggs were tangier than the adult's yellow goat cheese. The goat cheese was up to 5,000,000 STU. However, a few days left, the ones who ate those became sick. They were examined by professional doctors and they discovered a new virus called "royal virus", named after their crowns seen in their new microscopes (called coronavirus today). The doctors were paid 1,000 dollars (1,527,483.97 dollars in today's money) for their new discovery.

Around that time, the adult goat-chick was named Halvor. One day, Halvor spotted a dusty book on the ground. His claws reached out and held it, but he feared that he would scratch the antique book. He tapped his claws and started to bleat, only he said "Meh-doo!", since Halvor was a goat-chicken (having grown out of being a goat-chick because he was mature that he could bleat). Halvor became surrounded by humans. One woman, Agnes, bent down and held the book. Agnes opened the book. It was rare since it was the first draft of a play by Walter Blow and Hans Kammerer, made in 1588. It was 1627 and Halvor was worn down and old, living 3 years older than any ordinary goat and 11 years older than any ordinary chicken. The peasants gathered around the book. Halvor's son was named Dennis Lambert Halvorsson, and at that time Halvor had many grandsons. 245, to be exact. I can't name all of them, as some of their birth certificates were destroyed when Halvor died in 1641. I will tell you about that event later. On December 10, 1631, ten years before Halvor's death, Halvor showed signs of dying for the first time, but since this was the first-born goat-chicken and that all the other goat-chicken were in good health, they didn't notice. His bleat became slower like an old-aged person, and they thought that Halvor had a sore throat. Halvor now walked in Damnen's jungles and rainforests as he had matured. Halvor kept coughing and coughing for 10 years, even in his sleep (one day when he was sleeping he laid eggs with salmon and aspic in them).

On May 6th, 1641, Halvor, who had wrinkled skin, stopped breathing. His last breath was breathed when someone opened a wooden cup. The cup was sealed. Halvor's heart was beating. Suddenly, his pulse became slower and slower, and at about 1:56 am on May 7th, 1641, Halvor died. The ones who witnessed it felt a transparent thing (his soul) touch them and carry the cup. The witnesses saw the transparent thing turn white and say "I'm going to heaven. Goodbye. Meh-doo!" before it turned transparent again and floated into the sky. At about 2:00 am, Halvor's body was declared dead and the goat's autopsy was performed. His brain was extracted and put in another wooden cup. Goat eggs in development were there. They had soft shells with goat cheese spilling out of it. They were coated in skatole, which was usual since his almost-digested food was next to it. Whenever the wind came, the food was digested more and at 8:24 am, a post-death poop was made. It had more skatole than any other poop, so as a joke, the poop was distributed to Skinner's residents and visitors. Halvor's body was buried in Baird Cemetery, a new cemetery for goat-chickens and goat-chicken. Richard Ó Duibhdhíormaigh was a resident in the neighbouring town of Ronsburg. He was close to the cemetery and saw the funeral happen with his own eyes looking out of the window of his home. He was not invited. His eyes filled with tears, only that they were not tears. They were pearls. Suddenly, Richard saw the casket move. "Richard!", it called, and Richard was shocked. The casket closed and mumbled, "Meh-doo!" (it was muffled). The casket moved again and the transparent thing flew up into heaven at amazing speed (Volume 7,986, page 196 in the Odafiro Diary, which had multiple authors at that time).

The next week, the Odafiro Diary's authors gathered around a cake, They blew out the candles and got the manuscript for their diary out. It said: "Volume 8,000, page 1". It started ordinarily for the next two volumes and a half, but at Volume 8,002, page 129, Richard's eldest son's (Riggo's) entry said: "Party time. We gather'd round a delicious Cake and blew out Eight Candles.". Shenny Blow (the son of Walter Blow) had an entry too, but it was just a mini-play (a play but smaller than an average play). The mini-play had this sonnet:
 * 1) We gather'd round our Cake
 * 2) And candles thee God Bakes
 * 3) We blew Thou Eight Candles out
 * 4) And we recit'd, "We're all about.".


 * 1) Thys sonnet of Sixteen lines,
 * 2) Eight times Two lines, in fact,
 * 3) Eight is thy number of Candles, to be exact,
 * 4) And we were happy, for which we had Eight Thousand Volumes.


 * 1) I hath a Right to be Happy,
 * 2) My Braine also has thou Right,
 * 3) And thys Time, we chose to be Happy,
 * 4) And it was very Goode.


 * 1) Eight Thousand Volumes, we are proud of our Ancestors
 * 2) Including Tut, who start'd this Diarie,
 * 3) Grateful that it was not Crier Night,
 * 4) And we turn'd on the Light.

The Eight Thousandth Volume Party
They partied all night. The night was a little restless and happy, and at 2:38 am, they slept. The eight thousandth volume party ended officially at 11:00 am, when they woke up (since the sleeping was a part of the party). They were happy. Around that time, Baroque music was terrible in Damnen. Crays (the descendants of Vikings and Luxembourgish South Americans and 10 percent Africans but 30 percent Native American) became terrible and inflicted rotten wounds with eggshells and splinters. But some trees were hit also. One of the trees turned out to be sacred to a small religion called the Followers of the Tree. The Followers of the Tree said in their next meeting that the Crays were demonic and were going to doom us. "We shall kill the Crays!", they shouted. They chanted that all day long. Most of the Crays were in Damnen already. The Crays ran as fast as they can since airplanes didn't exist back then. Cows grazed and their religion kept chanting until 1652. One day, the followers were hooded. They tried to kill them in their sleep, but they woke up, unlike Machensson, who was in a deep sleep. One Cray immediately woke up. "What are you doing here, thy mysterious men?", he politely asked in a British accent (the Crays were also about 40% British). Donald Bragg was the one who was assigned to kill the Cray. You could know they were Crays if they had a name like Gorsky, Klein, Gott, Ditcher, MacCray, Amira, Godwine, and Gaudin. Nathaniel Godwine was the one that Donald Bragg had to kill. That Cray, Benjamin Godwine, was trepidatious but talkative. Just then, there was a rupture. The roof collapsed under him and Benjamin Godwine was killed (Volume 12,477, page 193: "Crayes hath Death hath found'd to them. We are hath not Crays, we hath been a Luckye familye. We canne staye in this House. One of thy Roofe, down it Goes and Destroy him, the Godwine Breuer.")

Godwine was a brewer, and so vineyards surrounded his house. Debris fell, and then their floor rotated. It fell right into a vineyard where someone was brewing. He managed to escape with only a leg injury. His leg fell right into the bottle and bounced into the floor. Nobody noticed that, and it was sold. About 50 people died. The viner (as they called him) fell down and collapsed too. He managed to go up and say, "About 349 years from now, airplanes will crash into the World Trade Center.". Everybody was surprised. This was confirmed as in Volume 12,479, page 23, there was: "Thys daye, a man who hurte his Leg and lost it, down he Goes like the Roofe and he saith, "About 349 yeares from now, on the Daye of the 9th month and 11th Daye, in the yeare of 2001, there came a Building named the World Trade Center. Two Aire-Plaines crash'd like the Roofe and the W.T.C. felle to its Death. Me saith that thy names are Al-Qaeda, A-L-dash-Q-A-E-D-A, the terrorists that caused thys Cruel action. At the 9th houre at the 59th minute, the W.T.C. in the South - down it Goes like the Roofe! At the 10th houre of the 28th minute, the W.T.C. in the North - down it Goes like the Roofe! At the 8th houre of the 46th minute of the 40th second, the W.T.C. in the North hath Fire from the Aire-Plaines; at the 9th houre of the 3rd minute of the 11th second, the W.T.C. in the South...it's time for me to Die."

As they were putting him in the coffin, a piece of paper fell. It contained all of the information for the September 11 attacks. He had every detail of the September 11 attacks right to the second, 349 years before it had actually happened. The whole house collapsed. A house nearly was talking if they shall believe in who who lie, and someone said, "A house, at predicting thy God, shall not knock us down.". At that moment, the house knocked that house, and that guy was kissing a girl. One of his friends made up a story that his kiss shall lead to death the next day. That girl died of food poisoning the next day. Another girl was kissed by him, and she died of an abnormal heartbeat the day after. People started to think that the story was true, and he was put in a medieval, all-boys mental asylum four and a half years after. He only kissed girls, so he didn't kiss for 47 years until the day he died, August 29, 1704.

1700s
After he died, Donald Bragg died in the year 1706. During Volume 579,858, page 148, a sport named Billball was made. Billball had athletes and was normally placed with a "goat tea party" for the winning team. The goat tea parties were held in private places that were speakeasies. Goat tea was at the same level as alcohol. Everybody started drinking and got thick skin. Finally, Damnen gradually lifted the ban for goat tea. On March 4, 1707, a bill was passed stating that spicy tomato goat tea (STGT) was the only type. STGT was gradually being normally used, and two years after, people had decided that STGT was good. On September 29, 1709, they passed a bill that regular goat tea was legal, but only in parties. And on August 27, 1714, they passed a bill that regular goat tea was fully legal. Prathero Tuirmin, the president at the time, created Efephia. Prathero liked the name of Efephia, but he lost interest and renamed the city "Pamnacka". Vervebat, Brittleboy, Nurnel, Nengo, Tuagwis, Saucyhaw, Gapozzo, and Bronto were now authors of the Odafiro Diary. Billball players regularly did the rumba. The one millionth volume party was held on October 31, 1720, and it was spooky. From that time, Damnen associated ghosts with a million dollars ("A ghost will appear where you are if you're poor!"). A Baroque song named "Spooky Rag, Poor Pip's Bag", written by Brittleboy, became popular in the mid 1720s-early 1730s. During the year of 1732, Poor Pip's Book was published. Vervebat and Brittleboy married each other (Brittleboy was a boy, Vervebat was a girl) on September 22, 1740. In the year 1743, they moved to Enfield, North Carolina and hired messengers to send their diary entries to Damnen. During that time, they wrote in their diary: " I found this in a Booke me reades to our youngest child, Francis. Piff (sic, long s for both) test Saye newe child Borne in year of 1751, Julius." (Volume 1,615,287, page 3
 * 1) My Mill grinds,
 * 2) Pepper and Spice,
 * 3) Your Mill grinds,
 * 4) Rats, and Mice.

TheyThey documented their move between Volume 1,609,937-1,624,775. They moved in 1762. Vervebat had three children, Velvetboy, Francis, and Elizabeth. Elizabeth, the eldest, had already married in 1760. Elizabeth Odafiro had her name changed to Elizabeth Lawson. On September 23, 1762, Vervebat died. When she died, she fainted and touched their fireplace. That pushed the fireplace away (since the house was about 100 years old). Elizabeth ran to get Vervebat and threw the fire away. They were in a two-story semi-detached house. Their neighbor, Samuel Leichenberg, tried to pour water on it, but the fire grew fast because it is wooden. The neighbourhood was engulfed in the fire. That was the Great Fire of Damnen. On September 27, 1762, they started demolishing houses in the way of the fire. Since the fire was fast, though, the deconstructors died, and their ash was never found. Pamnacka (including Vervebat's house (and place of death)) was destroyed by the morning of October 1, 1762. They had to extinguish the fire two weeks later, on October 15th. It was completely done on December 5, 1762. Pamnacka was rebuilt between June 15, 1763 to March 26, 1769. The Odafiro Diary was discontinued for a day because of Vervebat's criticism. Elizabeth made an excuse that her goat-chicken, Dully (named after a friend's last name), did it (similar to Mrs. O'Leary's cow). Dully was the culprit in the public mind, so thousands of people went to kill him. Dully was given to a goat-chicken shelter under the name of "Edward". Dully was 8 weeks old when Vervebat died. It was a coincidence that Dully shared his birthdate (July 29th) with Halvor. Dully died in 1771.

Before Dully died, Dully kicked one candle in the shelter. The candlewax was yummy, so he ate all of the candlewax. Dully realized what he had caused. That was on October 5, 1770. The fire spread and engulfed Pamnacka, since Dully found the other candles and ate the paraffin wax. That was the Second Great Fire of Pamnacka. On October 25, the extinguishers discovered Dully made it. And, on March 19, 1771, Dully was killed. Between August 1, 1772 to February 21, 1790, reconstruction was done. The 1780s were poor. Now, the Odafiro Diary was threatened to discontinue for a week, month, year, decade, or even a century! The Odafiro Diary didn't discontinue. The only house to be not engulfed by the fire was 483 Macula Street. That house was placed in the Historical Registry for Places of Great Significance in Damnen (HRFPOGSID, or D-Frog Hips) immediately. D-Frog Hips was immediately founded and in early 1791, D-Frog Hips registered 483 Macula Street. Dully's son, Mourey, sobbed after hearing that (though it was "Meh-meh-meh-doooooooooooooooo!!!" instead of the usual sobbing). Though, in 1798, when he was 29, he developed a relationship with heaven. And so, the 1700s ended about two years later, and the 1800s came...

1800s
In the year 1809, Mourey felt that he was going to die. He ran until he found a log cabin near Hodgenville, Kentucky. It was February 12, 1809. He pushed the door and broke it. There were two children. A couple held their baby. "We're Thomas and Nancy. And the newborn baby is Abraham Lincoln. He was born today.", the couple said. That baby was Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States. Mourey laid a very large egg, and Mourey felt that it was the thing that made him think he was going to die. Mourey lived with them, but in 1816, Mourey was taken to Indiana. On October 5, 1818, Nancy succumbed to milk sickness. However, the milk she drank that caused it was not Mourey's. Nancy always vomited in Mourey's mouth, and during November 1818, Mourey had milk sickness. Mourey started having symptoms of dying in 1823. One egg was laid by Mourey in 1821 and it was kept. Mourey felt like she was going to die in 1835, and that continued until early 1840. On January 7, 1840, Mourey died during the night. Since Mourey laid a lot of overdue and bumpy eggs that day when Abraham was sleeping, when they woke up, there were a lot of goat-chicks (about 500) on their bed. Abraham brought the goat-chicks into all his cases that day.

Meanwhile, one of the United States House of Representatives were at the goat-chicken shelter. He remarked to the manager that they had some there from a goat-chicken named "Nudger". Suddenly, the manager got excited. The manager said that Nudger may have been Mourey, and that the goat-chicken disappeared on January 1, 1809. The guy from the United States House of Representatives said that Nudger was found at the log cabin on February 12, 1809. The manager gave his position to the backup manager, and the manager left with the representative. One of the goat-chicks had sneaked into his suitcase and popped out. The goat-chick's eggs fell. "This is one of Nudger's children. His name is Domeboy.", said the representative. And then, they started to embark on a journey to Abraham Lincoln. And, Nudger was indeed Mourey. Domeboy and another goat-chick, Akiko, found each other. Domeboy sneakily brought Akiko with him, and their first goat-chick egg was made in March 1840. The goat-chick that hatched out of it was named Dugald. Dugald was the first in a rare genetic disorder. Dugald produced opium goat cheese instead of newborn goat cheese. This was due to Akiko eating meconium (not the baby poop, but the opium latex residue). But Dugald ate his baby poop (goat-chick meconium). That's how his goat-cheese eggs had skatole.

Dugald always ate his goat cheese, candlewax, a variety of poop, opium, and books. Dugald exceeded Mourey's height on August 10, 1840. Dugald met Abraham Lincoln and stayed with him for 14 years. Robert Todd Lincoln befriended Dugald. Dugald left Abraham Lincoln during his Peoria Speech. Years passed, and in 1861, Dugald went to Abraham Lincoln, and he was the president. Dugald was there when Abraham Lincoln was supposed to be assassinated, but Dugald ate the bullet. John, the assassin, tried multiple times, but the audience knew what he was doing. Dugald swallowed all of the bullets John shot, and Dugald saved Abraham's life. Dugald became a celebrity in the USA. Abraham Lincoln died on March 5, 1888.

Years kept passing and passing, and then, on December 15, 1890, the yearly census was took. Damnen and Oeria had almost the same population. Eight years passed until they were exactly the same, and then, preparation for the Damnen-Oerian War started. On March 6, 1899, the first battle, the Battle of Pereant took place (the houseowner's reaction is funny) and the Damnen-Oerian War had officially started. The next day, there was another battle called the Battle of Brownscore. Then, on March 8, 1899, there was another battle called the Battle of Jenkins. The whole list of battles are here. The war continued into the 1900s.

1900s
Due to the Damnen-Oerian War merging with the Boer War, the British were Damnen's enemies. This rivalry continued until December 21, 1913, when Damnen gained a child named Mexou Doko. Mexou Doko became a celebrity! Mexou Doko became the president of Damnen at just fifteen years old since he wanted to be a lawyer! Two years later, Mexou Doko started his own television channel. It featured colour for the first time, and it included sound, too. The colour was a disaster with red, greens, yellows and blues mixed all over the place, but in November 1938, freak atmospheric conditions fixed it and a contraption was made to automatically fix it. The contraption resides in the Mexou Doko Museum, next to a mustard and salt pretzel which Mexou Doko didn't eat back in 1920. On January 7, 1940, 100 years after Dully's death, Mexou stopped his television channel since BBC stopped theirs. It never aired until January 1, 1949, when it broadcast part of the New Year's broadcast. Under the call sign WMXD-TV (MXD was MeXou Doko) or W2KNJ-MXD-TV-NP-ANALOG1-01011949-45-REG-DULLY-01071940-01-SIGNOFF-OPERATOR-FN-MEXOU-MN-WILLIAM-LN-DOKO-DAMNEN-40-49, WMXD-TV started broadcasting Mexou's speeches. The MXWDBC (MeXou William Doko Broadcasting Corporation) got founded, and WMXD-TV became part of MXWDBC. MXWDBC became Damnen's national television station and Thaw's Radio Corporation (TRC) became defunct. Robert Seitz ruled the Machenssonians, and Seitz was planning for a second takeover of Damnen. Mexou Doko saw the hooded man, and said: "We should get Damnen.". Luckily, Mexou Doko saved Damnen for the second time. Around this time, the villages of Rubber, Doko, Blakes, and Moseley were founded. Darkes Seitz, his wife, was as evil as him. Mexou Doko married Jane Onley at 26 years old, and they had three children. They moved to Kansas on May 7, 1943 when Jane Doko (née Onley) gave birth to their first child, Zagmour Doko, on an airplane.

Zagmour was given unlimited flights for life. Conflicts of nationality arose and Zagmour became a celebrity. Zagmour became a traveller on November 19, 1958. However, before that, on May 2, 1945, a poor couple was on an airplane from Damnen to Boston, when the poor couple gave birth to nonuplets (nine babies). Just then, an asteroid named 612012 Grapen hit the airplane near the nonuplets. But, the nonuplets went down and the tail came flying down. The asteroid plunged to the North Atlantic Ocean. The couple swam, and the nonuplets split up. The first nonuplet found a boat and managed to crawl to it. It swam all the way to the Pacific Ocean, where he landed in Thursday Island, Australia, on May 5, 1946. The first nonuplet, Adil, walked across Thursday Island. Adil felt alone.

The second nonuplet, Brenda, was in Africa in October 1945. Brenda was in an African zoo, when Brenda was found by a tourist from Damnen. In November 1945, Brenda came to Damnen, and Brenda's parents were in the newspaper (Brenda hugged it so much that her second parents thought that they were her real parents). Meanwhile, their parents arrived in some Portuguese islands.

The third nonuplet, Joseph Truman, arrived at Washington, D.C.. He became the President's adopted child, and was regularly featured as Baby New Year in American newspapers from 1947-1953. He became a lawyer in the mid-1970s and loved rhopalics (they were in his speeches from June 1981-December 2020).

The fourth nonuplet, Oscar, was eaten by a fish. The fish was caught in early 1947, and 2 days later, a woman ate the fish, unaware that she had eaten the 2-year-old. Oscar was reborn on October 26, 1947, but a baby switch happened and Oscar became Hillary Clinton (Oscar looked like a girl, and Oscar cut his mustache, for that reason Bill Clinton legalized same-sex marriages).

The fifth nonuplet, Walther, lived in a boat and ate cooked fish (he had a bottle of vegetable oil that somebody threw out in the sea). Walther arrived in South Africa, where he was homeless. He went all the way to Portugal, where a sailor brought him to the Portuguese islands, where Walther met his parents in early 1951.

The sixth nonuplet, Aditya, was brought to India, and in 1948 Aditya was brought to an orphanage. He stayed there for 10 years until a tourist got him and named him "Aditya". Aditya became an engineer in 1964, but retired in September 2017.

The seventh nonuplet, Jhryin, came to Oeria and fought against Damnen. When Jhryin's parents discovered they were fighting Jhryin, they ordered the President to take over Oeria and Jhryin's parents found Jhryin, and Jhryin and Walther were together after 18 years.

The eighth nonuplet, Jonty, also ended up in South Africa, and Jonty became a dog breeder. Jonty left South Africa for America, where he became a goat-chicken breeder. He retired in 2018, and he became a sculptor, until his death in Hartsfield on March 26, 2022.

The ninth and final nonuplet, Tapper Swope, became a Scrabble champion at age 36. He played "xerox", "zoomers", "fellow", "quest", and "jazzy"! In the summer of 1965, all of them were invited to a reunion. Their parents told them that they were siblings, and that they became separated when they were babies.

On August 27, 2000, the parents of the nonuplets died. In 1950, a mysterious broadcast came on TV. It said "Dude can heal you". On September 11, 1951, 50 years before the World Trade Center attacks, riots came. Sandwiches were thrown. The next day, they chanted, "Dude shall heal us, and Dude shall heal you, for which Stanley Sandler is a handler!".

Stanley Sandler was a random person that happened to be the father of Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler wasn't born until 1966, however. 2 years later, an Insta-Burger King restaurant came to Damnen. On September 29, 1953, the Insta-Burger King restaurant opened in Damnen. It opened in Pamnacka. The Insta-Burger King restaurant included poutine, goat-chicken nuggets and burgers. That restaurant also had a "Hiccough Room" where people with hiccups would charge one dollar to remove their hiccups. Johannes Goyer was the Hiccougher, where Johannes Goyer woudl try all sorts of tactics to remove it. Johannes Goyer was the Hiccougher from 1953-1982. In September 1982, he was fired for killing a person by hitting them with a magazine. The person suffered a seizure and a stroke and then died seventy-seven minutes after the stroke.

On May 5th, 1955, Every Object Documented in the World List (EODITWL) was founded. After that, filming of the Hungaro-Austrian border was started. A person from Damnen saw the film first. The strangest films were made in Damnen. In early 1957, the film was released. Its name was "The Bee Diva". The Bee Diva showed the Hungaro-Austrain border, then an opera singer sings: "We can sting you, Dude, you cannot heal, it is an evil curse that we can sting, but we can sing. Oh, we can sting, but we also sing. Our melody can attract you and death has come, and Dude wants to chew gum. WHY ARE WE UNSTOPPABLE? Why are we like that?".

On August 29, 1956, Damnen's Police Department (D.P.D.) received a letter from a stranger named Eugene Paur with "A Head of Wood" on it. To see it, look at it here: https://www.newspapers.com/clip/98542883/a-head-of-wood/. Along with it were partially-burnt but rotten tomatoes. They were estimated to be 110 years old by a professional sipsifroutologist (one who studies rotten fruit, or how fruits rot). On September 12, 1956, the D.P.D. received another letter from Eugene Paur. The new letter from him was named "The Dallier". It read: "The dallier has come to rest, he is not a pest. The speedy man runs around and does his work, including eating a lot of pork. Scampering up the fewer meters, he sees a cove. "You colone!", he yells, and an old clown comes out of thin air. He has a thick beard and he had grey hair. "Take the insult, but I'm not okay.", the clown says, and he faints. He lands in a thick puddle, and the cove had a bog. And then, he sees the fog. He rummages for his foghorn, and he trips and falls and stumbles across a Mayan hole. He sees the dark, and climbs, and rusty smells disturb his thick but tall nose. "Up and down,", says the clown, "and there he goes.". And his magic wand falls out of his bag, and then he sees the shadow of a stag. "He who enters is not doomed.", the words bloomed. But his fever raged on; and he now had a hectic fever. Then he fell, and he saw dead shrub, plucked thousands of years ago in the Archipelago. And then, he was flogged. He turned around and saw the clown. "I was sick to give the fever to you...", the clown cackled. The clown took off his mask, and he saw his enemy. His enemy was a famous tuba player, made up of many layers. And as such he was 180, and so he was angry at ten more, and then he fell to the cold, stone floor. His tears touched his face in rage and sadness, and he had forgiven in the Mayan realm of Quiven. The glib clown, tear-stricken, said like a chicken: "I'm sorry, cluck cluck!"." There was also a crossword (ripped) from the newspaper: On October 1, 1956, another message was sent: "Spam, spam, wonderful spam / I shall eat pork and ham / Help me, I'm in some punishment / And your pocket scolds me out and about / Spam, spam, wonderful spam / Goodbye / I will see you later in a day / And anything you never shall say.". That was Eugene's last essage. Meanwhile, there was another enemy to Mexou, Fred White. Fred White almost assassinated Mexou Doko on Christmas Eve, 1960 (December 24, 1960) during a deep sleep right at 11:57 pm. Two days after (Christmas meant that the President came and Christmas was a holiday), David Oglescab released a card: it was Fred White's driver license. Mexou Doko was still alive, though he wasn't well to be a President. Damnen House officials wanted him to make a full recovery. It was New Year 1961 when Fred White launched 52 fireworks at once. The Damnen House was impacted by the fireworks, but luckily Mexou Doko emerged unscathed because they had brought him out of Pamnacka. At 378 Ottman Street, Mexou Doko saw the Damnen House burning. However, Fred White hijacked an airport. Three airplanes crashed into the house and two towers. Pamnacka was burning, as Mexou was brought to the United States. Mexou Doko flew back to Damnen on July 23rd, 1961. Fred White was arrested on September 5, 1961. A week later, Mexou Doko said, "40 years from now, we shall fly to the United States and kill Al-Qaeda.". Mexou Doko became president a week after that.

On January 31, 1962, Ranger 3 crashed into Damnen. Many watched and filmed as the spacecraft made its way through a brick house and hit an elderly lady. First it sliced through her cane, then the blazing, hot space litter bruised her hip and thigh. She died that same day from the injuries. The funeral was attended by Alan Shepard (Yuri Gagarin couldn't go because of unknown causes) and the whole country of Damnen (except the schoolchildren, who had a half-day that was at the same time as the funeral). As the elderly lady was in her casket, loading her body into the rocket, a sudden movement emerged from the rocket. They raced and put her body quickly while the rocket gave her a burial in space.

In March of 1962, USA was reporting "screams from the sky". The next month, a body fell from space. It was identified as a woman. She had several burns, but the most prominent was one occupying her hip and thigh. A Damnen immigrant saw her moan and wake up. Damnen was completely shocked that she was ALIVE! Her name was Alice Barnes-Pound. ￼She was shocked at her appearance, having amnesia and dementia. The shocking thing was, she was not elderly! She had come out from a hot bath with a sore throat when the meteorite hit her! Shockingly, she was 9 months pregnant and was about to give birth! As the baby boy slid out of her uterus and into the world, Alice had a vision of space. Stars drifted as her baby boy's hand emitted a yellow light. God and Jesus appeared as God handed over an orb. A flash of white appeared as angels revolved around her boy. "He is the Grandson of God," the angels calmly said.

Alice jolted her head up and her baby boy's umbilical cord was about to be cut. It was cut and just then, a star appeared above them. Alan Shepard and the discoverer of Pluto, Clyde Tombaugh, appeared. "We have seen a miracle. He is the grandson of God," Clyde said. Alice named her baby boy Peter.￼ Peter levitated and a hole cracked in the hospital. Holy water rained on him, for which he was baptizing himself. Peter made her bruises vanish to spots of salmon pink. Damnen couldn't believe what had happened.

In July 1962, the first Walmart in Damnen opened. The grand opening had the Rolling Stones performing a rare song named "Jazzy Walmart". A recording was sent through the new Telstar to Pleumeur-Bodou in France, where it was shown live at the 1962 Tour de France event to the public and bikers on a break. Mariner 1 erratically crashed in a field in Damnen. Luckily, there were no injuries. Thalidomide was burned in a fire, and luckily, Alice didn't take any thalidomide.

By August, people mourned the death of Marilyn Monroe. By September, Sputnik 4 fragments were being shipped to Damnen, Neil Armstrong gave a speech on the future achievements of space, and the Jetsons was every kid’s favourite show.

Peter’s Love
On September 9, 1962, Peter was seen kissing with Liza Marklund. Everybody assumed it was his love, and yes, it was — as they were married in 1983.

The Man on the Moon
Fast foward to 1969. John F. Kennedy was dead, and Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon. Everyone celebrated as he spoke the first words on the moon: “One small step for man, one giant step for mankind.” The black-and-white live video was all the rage.

May 1970. Sahaja Yoga was introduced by Abhishek Jaanakaari in Damnen. GRUNK visited Damnen. At the time, Damnen was obsessed with a pop and soft rock band called the Carpenters and had really loved the song “(They Long To Be) Close to You”. Harry Bevan, a lead singer from Pittsburgh who is the grandfather of Samuel Bevan, started a rival band called the Bevans, and he had an advantage because Bevan was before the Carpenters in alphabetical order.

Bevan’s Plagiarism
Bevan was mainly known to scour his CDs and plagiarize songs. For example, his first single, “Why Do I Need To Be With You?” has this compared to the “(They Long To Be) Close to You”:
 * 1) White F, Black G, then Black D, Black C (x6), White C on piano - Why do birds suddenly appear? (Carpenters lyric), Why do I need to be with you? (Bevans lyric.)

Slowly, everyone grew uninterested and moved to the Bevans. By 1972, “Why do I need to be with you? When everyday, I loved you? Just love me, and you come here, and we’re perfect!” was a quote. By the time everyone realized it was plagiarized in 1974, he was in the process of recording his new single, “There’s No Way I Loved You”. Suddenly, millions of people gave their Harry Bevan concert tickets to the ultimate concert ticket collector. (When he died, the tickets were sold for about 988 trillion dollars on eBay. Nobody can afford to buy it, and it’s still listed on eBay.)

Mr. Pancake
On June 24, 1974, a commercial from Windsor Pancakes had this jingle: "Mr. Pancake, eat him for breakfast! Mr. Pancake, put that maple syrup on him. Bathed in maple syrup is Mr. Pancake!" From that day on, that jingle was chanted across the streets of Damnen.

The Universal Product Code
On June 27, 1974, the Universal Product Code (UPC) was introduced to Damnen.

Lemon Flavour of Wrigley's Juicy Fruit Gum
In July 1974, a new flavour of Wrigley's Juicy Fruit gum was introduced to Damnen. It was lemon. Throughout 1974-1975, it was popular.

Telechromacolour Duohemivision
The new 1975 Telechromacolour Duohemivision model G648 was bought by almost every family in Damnen. It converted electronic impulses to 3D images. The technology was first thought of in 1969. The first test was on May 5, 1970. In 1973, Ed Catmull was employed at Telechromacolour to fit CGI into the TV. With the help of 33 engineers, he was able to fit a model of his face and several commands, along with the rotating view. In 1974, Ed invented the Chromascanner, now called the 3D scanner. It could scan anything and turn it into a 3D model. A pocket version was fitted into the television on top of the dial region. You could scan by switching the dial from 10, 20, 30, then the second dial from 30, 20, 10, then tap the sensor twice and return the dials back to normal. Or press the "SCAN" button on top of the television dials. If you tapped both of the buttons at the same time, it would show you Ed Catmull's face. This was used to scan faces and it was revolutionary to the world of computer-generated images, also known as CGI. Thus, it sold out within a few hours of being released.

Ed Catmull Visits Pamnacka
In early 1976, Ed Catmull went to Pamnacka to show everyone their new model, the Telechromacolour Quadhemivision! It could scan better. Naturally, everyone wanted it. It released in stores in March, coming with Pong, Breakout and Atari controllers! It sold out in a few hours, just like the Telechromacolour Duohemivision. The Telechromacolour Quadhemivision had better quality than the Telechromacolour Duohemivision, about two times more pixels than the Telechromacolour Duohemivision as the name suggests.

Fishes/Fish
Damnen is well known for having a lot of European bitterlings, black basses, bluegills, and trouts.

Maugham93
On December 21, 2005, a new account on YouTube was made called Maugham93. It created a video on that same date (Green Oxide). It was just green. There was other videos, like "Tea Towels". This is the full list:
 * 1) Green Oxide
 * 2) Tea Towels
 * 3) Bazzill Yellow Cardstock
 * 4) Kota Stone
 * 5) Pistachio
 * 6) Limewashed Fur
 * 7) 9B62

Books
The authors in Damnen write very long books, like "Back in 1958" by John Vogt (3,738 pages), "Lambskins and Leather" by Abraham Henry (5,017 pages), ...