Carwardine Parks/Commercials

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Carwardine Parks Ad (1991)

 * Narrator:
 * Director: Ryan Paulsen
 * Agency: Atlantis Advertising Corporation

Plot
TBA

Script

 * It's the newest sensation in excitement and pleasure! Carwardine Parks!
 * Carwardine Parks has dozens of parks across North America, and a few internationally.
 * Visit a Carwardine Park near you!

Carwardine Parks Ad (2000)

 * Narrator:
 * Director: Richard Natochenny
 * Agency:

Plot
TBA

Script

 * Some people say they like Disney, others prefer Six Flags, but there's one chain that everyone can enjoy!
 * Carwardine Parks has over thirty-five parks in it's lineup, with all of them heavily checked to make sure they meet our golden standard!
 * From Newport News, to cities like Cincinnati, Akron, Billings, Washington D.C., Anchorage, Albuquerque, Flagstaff, Ottawa and even Tokyo, there's a Carwardine Park close to you!

Carwardine Parks Ad (2003)

 * Narrator: Travis Northcott
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency:

Plot
TBA

Script

 * The chain that keeps on giving... The chain that is too cool for words...

Carwardine Parks Ad (2004)

 * Narrator: Travis Northcott
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency:

Plot
TBA

Script

 * It's America's biggest chain of owned & operated parks, it's where you can ride the video games and experience all the tallest, fastest and latest rides...

Carwardine Parks Ad (2005)

 * Narrator:
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency:

Plot
TBA

Script

 * 2005 is Carwardine's big 25th anniversary, and we're going all in for it!
 * Every Carwardine Park has something new to experience! Meet SpongeBob, Garfield, Mario, Rainbow Brite and many more of your favorite characters!

Carwardine Parks Ad (2006)

 * Narrator:
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency:

Script

 * 2006 is quite the BIG! BIG! BIG! follow-up year!

Carwardine Parks Ad (2008)

 * Narrator: Eric Linney
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency:

Script

 * Carwardine Parks is America's largest owned & operated chain of amusement parks!

Nick Central Announcement Video (2002)

 * Narrator:
 * Voice: (SpongeBob)

Plot
This announcement video, shown to investors and local officials in Flagstaff, recycles a lot of animation and lines from the Nicktoons Network launch promo from earlier that year.

Script

 * SPONGEBOB: Be seated, Thank you.
 * SPONGEBOB: As you all waited for, the Nicktoons and several other Nick characters will be charging into battle, becoming a brand new land at Arizona's Backyard.
 * SPONGEBOB: Some have said Nickelodeon did not want this fight, well, that's a bunch of CONKSHELLS mister, Nickelodeon LOVES this thing of battle!
 * SPONGEBOB: In 1991, Nickelodeon spanned the eye of the animation world, and launched the Nicktoons, fresh, original, cutting edge, as only Nickelodeon could be.
 * SPONGEBOB: And Nickelodeon didn't stop there, In 1995, The Nicktoons block moved into Saturday mornings, and conquered this hostile terrain.
 * SPONGEBOB: Knowing no fear, In 1998, the Nicktoons block marched into primetime, and the ratings SOARED!
 * SPONGEBOB: And in 2001, the Rugrats: All Growed Up special became the HIGHEST. RATED. KIDS. PROGRAM. EVER! Thus raising the Nick flag into television history!
 * SPONGEBOB: Nickelodeon will go through the competition like a KRABBY PATTY through Plankton!
 * SPONGEBOB: We. stand here today. Poised, at a new episode in theme park history! The commencement of a new, Nickelodeon themed, theme park land!
 * SPONGEBOB: There are more tickets to be sold, more theme park stories to be told!
 * SPONGEBOB: We will build the tallest coasters! and cross the fastest speed! WE ARE PART OF CARWARDINE PARKS!
 * SPONGEBOB: And as sure is I am absorbant, yellow and porous, we will be VICTORIUS!
 * SPONGEBOB: We are commited to take on all competition, and If you can think you can rattle us with your rehash coasters of yesterday, I say... BRING IT ON!
 * JCG: Well, Arizona's Backyard is getting it's largest expansion to DATE! Along with the previously announced PBS Kids Neighborhood, Nick Central will be added, with tons of rides!
 * JCG: SPONGEBOB BIKINI BOTTOM RACEWAY!: A wooden coaster with a VERTICAL LOOP! Only the second in the world!
 * JCG: RUGRATS RUNAWAY REPTAR!: A suspended family coaster with twists and turns for the whole family!
 * JCG: REN & STIMPY SWINGING EEDIOTS!: A high-speed pendulum of madness and mayhem!
 * JCG: ROCKO'S ROAD ROUNDUP!: A bumping, dodging car ride through O-Town!
 * JCG: AND DORA'S BALLOON RACE!: A trip in balloons in the sky!
 * JCG: Nick Central! Coming Summer 2003!
 * SPONGEBOB: We want YOU!

Nick Central Ad (2003)

 * Narrator: (SpongeBob)
 * Voices: (SpongeBob),  (Patrick),  (Rocko)
 * Offer Screen Announcer:
 * Director: Ryan Paulsen
 * Animation:
 * Agency:

Plot
TBA

Script

 * (SPONGEBOB) Hey Patrick, guess what?
 * (PATRICK) What SpongeBob?
 * (SPONGEBOB) We're going to... Arizona!
 * (PATRICK) Ari-what-zit?
 * (SPONGEBOB) Arizona, at Arizona's Backyard! The thrill capital of the Grand Canyon State! Located on Historic Route 66 in Flagstaff, only 1 hour from Prescott and 2 hours from Phoenix. Featuring my new Bikini Bottom Raceway coaster, the new for 2003 Rugrats: Runaway Reptar coaster, and Rocko's Road Roundup!
 * (ROCKO) Talk about a pile-up... *dodges a flying car part* WOAH!
 * (PATRICK) It's so awesome! I love Ari-toyota!
 * (SPONGEBOB) Uh, Arizona!
 * (PATRICK) Oh, right! Arizona!
 * (GABRIEL) Get ready for the new for 2003 Nick Central and PBS Kids Neighborhood areas with a free coupon with every 12-pack of Pepsi! And find offer books for free at your local McDonald's or your local Arizona Subaru dealership.
 * (SPONGEBOB) Nick Central, at Arizona's Backyard!

The New Stuff At Camp Ad (1991)

 * Narrator:
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency: Atlantis Advertising Corporation

Plot
TBA

Script

 * See all the new stuff at camp! Texas's first zero-charge monorail! Tons of new thrill rides! And much, much more!

Camp PBS Kids Ad - Coming Spring 2003 (February 2003)

 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Copywriters: Marv Simpleton, Alan Jonker, Duke Rowell
 * Music: - recorded at Ogden Hall at ,
 * Composer: Marv Simpleton, Babs Eliasberg
 * Voices:, Dean Wendt, Andrew Francis
 * Narrator: Duke Rowell
 * Agency:

Plot
Similar to the one used for the other parks, but the footage was re-shot at Camp Carwardine to match the scenery.

Script

 * Text: Camp Carwardine - 3:57 am, February 15, 2003
 * (NARRATOR) "In the early morning of February 15..."
 * (BIG BIRD) "Come on guys!"
 * (NARRATOR) "Something magical happened at Camp Carwardine"
 * (BARNEY) "This is going to be Super-Dee-Duper!"
 * (NARRATOR) "No one could have imagined a place for kids to learn, play, imagine... and of course, have fun! Or that a children's area of an amusement park... could be more fun than ever!"
 * (DARREN) "Woah, we gotta skee-daddle!"
 * (NARRATOR) "Then again, nobody's seen anything... like Camp PBS Kids."

Camp PBS Kids Ad (Summer 2003)

 * Narrator:
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency:

Script

 * Your kids love watching PBS Kids on KERA, and now they'll love Camp PBS Kids, only at Camp Carwardine!
 * Meet Big Bird, Barney, Arthur, Sagwa and Darren in person, and experience an all new set of thrills for the whole family! Plus, it's all in the same park as some of the Dallas-Fort Worth area's most thrilling roller coasters!
 * So go to Camp Carwardine today! Only the best value entertainment in the Dallas-Fort Worth metro area!

Camp Nickelodeon Ad (2004)

 * Narrator:
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency:

Script

 * You love Nickelodeon on TV, and now you'll love the all new Camp Nickelodeon only at Camp Carwardine!
 * Featuring 9 all new rides for the entire family!
 * Based on favorite shows like SpongeBob SquarePants, the Rugrats and Jimmy Neutron! There's never been a better day out for the family.
 * And it's in the same park as five thrill coasters, a water coaster and a free admission waterpark!
 * Get a free 2004 season pass and coupons when you buy any 12-pack of Pepsi.
 * So go to Camp Carwardine today! Only the best value entertainment in the Dallas-Fort Worth metro area!

WWF: Ride the Attitude Ad (1998)

 * Narrator:
 * Endtag Narrator:

Script

 * (WEST) In Texas, you'll find many things along the highways and byways of the Lone Star State. The Alamo. The Astrodome. Big Tex. Cadillac Ranch. And, as of recently, MANKIND OF THE WWF!
 * (MICK FOLEY, waving to passerby) Have a nice day!
 * (WEST) He's on the hunt for the thrill of a lifetime, and he knows where it is.
 * (MICK FOLEY) One ticket for Ride the Attitude, please!
 * (WEST) WWF: Ride the Attitude, Carwardine C-Zone's new hyper coaster! With a Texas-size drop and the most turns and rolls on a hyper coaster in the state, it's sure to create memories that'll last forever!
 * (GABRIEL) WWF: RIDE THE ATTITUDE! Now at Carwardine C-Zone!
 * (MICK FOLEY) It's the perfect thrill for all mankind!

Carwardine Colony Ad (1980)

 * Director: Alan van der Merwe
 * Narrator:
 * Song Composition/Arrangement: Marv Simpleton, Frank W. Carroll
 * Song Lyrics:, Marv Simpleton
 * Song Vocals:
 * Agency: Atlantis Advertising Corporation

Plot
The ad is meant to look cheerful and happy, with footage of rides and shows shown.

Script

 * Ever wondered what pure imagination is? Come on over to Carwardine Colony!
 * (Carwardine Colony Song starts playing)
 * Share thrilling memories, tender memories, or imagine up pure fantasies, at Carwardine Colony, the Eastern seaboard's biggest entertainment complex, and the best value anywhere, just $10.95 for grown-ups and $5.00 for the kids, with all rides & shows free! You'll love the value, the kids will love the fun and the action, and everybody will enjoy the dreams coming true right before their eyes!
 * Carwardine Colony, where fun & fantasy begin! Just 1 hour from Richmond, Virginia and 49 minutes from Virginia Beach!

Carwardine Colony Ad (1985)

 * Narrator:
 * Director: Alan van der Merwe
 * Agency: Atlantis Advertising Corporation

Plot
TBA

Script

 * (Zoolook by Jean-Michel Jarre starts playing)
 * Carwardine Colony is always waiting for a new crowd of thrillseekers and fun-lovers. That's why it's made bigger and better with each and every year!
 * See the Cyclone, Carwardine Mines, Flash Forward and many more of the Eastern seaboard's biggest and tallest roller coasters and thrill rides!
 * Carwardine Colony, in Newport News, Virginia! Open 7 days a week.

The Nitro Rush Has Landed: 1993 (Fall 1992)

 * Animation:
 * Recycled Footage: Steel Phantom at Kennywood, Magnum XL 200 at Cedar Point & Drachen Fire at Busch Gardens Williamsburg
 * Narrator:
 * Agency: Atlantis Advertising Corporation

Plot
TBA

Script

 * First, there was the Carwardine Mines, then, the Cyclone, and now, The Nitro Rush!
 * Featuring a lift over 200 ft with an insane drop with the most wild inversions, including a Boomerang Corkscrew and two back to back loops!
 * The Nitro Rush Has Landed... coming soon in 1993!

Trivia

 * The first drop doesn't use footage of other Arrow coasters, but rather, fully animated by TMS Entertainment.

Carwardine Kids (Carwardine Colony, 1995)

 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Song Composition: Marv Simpleton
 * Song Lyrics: Marv Simpleton
 * Song Vocals: Scott Dragoun and Melissa Floyd
 * Endtag Announcer:
 * Agency: Atlantis Advertising Corporation

Script

 * At Carwardine Colony, there's tons for kids!
 * Rides, slides, and ball pits!
 * Hop on a ladybug, or swirl with spinning mugs!
 * Carwardine Colony is a family destination for all!
 * So let's go before it gets chilly in the Fall!
 * (GABRIEL) Carwardine Colony in Newport News, Virginia.

King Cobra, Coming Spring 1999 (Carwardine Colony, November 1998)

 * Narrator: Adolph Brooke
 * Offer Screen & Endtag Announcer:
 * Filmed on: Cobra's Maw at Warplaneland,
 * Agency:

Plot
TBA

Script

 * (BROOKE) If you think you handle it... you better be prepared... for the strike of it's STINGER!
 * (BROOKE) King Cobra, America's first cobra coaster!
 * (GABRIEL) Get advance season passes and free King Cobra goodies when you buy any 12-pack of Pepsi or Mountain Dew!
 * (BROOKE) King Cobra!
 * (GABRIEL) Coming Spring 1999 to Carwardine Colony!

Trivia

 * This was filmed on Cobra's Maw, the world's second permanent PAX Cobra-1 at Warplaneland in, . A Carwardine Colony sticker was placed over the Cobra's Maw logo on the head of the train for filming.
 * Originally, the ad was announced by . However, once the version with the offer screen was released, Adolph Brooke and Jan C. Gabriel re-dubbed Bateson's narration.
 * The nonchalant teenager wearing sunglasses was played by Danish actor Kai Iversen. Due to the popularity of the ad, Iversen was flown from Denmark to the US to be one of the first riders on King Cobra when it opened at Carwardine Colony.
 * According to an interview during FairCon 2021, he said he would gladly reprise his role if he was given the chance.

PBS Kids Neighborhood - Coming Spring 2003 (Carwardine Colony; February 2003)

 * Director: Martin Berger
 * Copywriters: Marv Simpleton, Alan Jonker, Duke Rowell
 * Music: - recorded at Ogden Hall at ,
 * Composer: Marv Simpleton, Babs Eliasberg
 * Voices:, Dean Wendt, Andrew Francis
 * Narrator: Duke Rowell
 * Agency:

Plot
TBA

Script

 * Text: Carwardine Colony - 3:57 am, February 15, 2003
 * (NARRATOR) "In the early morning of February 15..."
 * (BIG BIRD) "Come on guys!"
 * (NARRATOR) "Something magical happened at Carwardine Colony"
 * (BARNEY) "This is going to be Super-Dee-Duper!"
 * (NARRATOR) "No one could have imagined a place for kids to learn, play, imagine... and of course, have fun! Or that a children's area of an amusement park... could be more fun than ever!"
 * (DARREN) "Woah, we gotta skee-daddle!"
 * (NARRATOR) "Then again, nobody's seen anything... like the PBS Kids Neighborhood."

Redwall: Escape from Malkariss (Carwardine Colony; February 2003)

 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Narrator: Adolph Brooke
 * Offer Screen & Endtag Announcer:
 * Voice of Matthias:
 * Agency:

Plot
TBA

Script

 * (BROOKE) Redwall, Escape from Malkariss.
 * (BROOKE) The highest... the fastest... the steepest... flying roller coaster... in the world.
 * (BROOKE) Even when you see it... you won't believe it.
 * (MATTHIAS) Now that's what I call... a challenge!
 * (GABRIEL) Get a free 2003 season pass and coupons, plus Redwall: Escape from Malkariss goodies, when you buy any 12-pack of Pepsi.
 * (BROOKE) Redwall, Escape from Malkariss.
 * (GABRIEL) New for 2003 at Carwardine Colony!

The Great Carwardine Colony Treasure Hunt (Carwardine Colony; May 2003)

 * Announcer:
 * Agency:

Script

 * (GABRIEL) Want more fun out of your Carwardine Colony visit? Then enter the Great Carwardine Colony Treasure Hunt sweepstakes! All you need to do is visit Carwardine Colony between May 5th and August 1st, 2003 and write down your info and a hint to the location of a secret treasure hidden within the park in the special guest book! 100 winners will get a personalized greeting card video from Christopher R. Carwardine featuring highlights from the queue tapes! 500 winners will get Carwardine Parks goodies! 100 winners will get a Game Boy Advance SP with Pokémon Ruby and/or Pokémon Sapphire! 50 winners will get a Nintendo GameCube with Super Mario Sunshine, Sonic Mega Collection and Star Fox Adventures! 10 winners will get a 2003 Subaru Forester! And the grand prize winner takes home a $5 million cash prize, a trip to Aruba and a L-T Passport! The Great Carwardine Colony Treasure Hunt, only at Carwardine Colony, is sponsored by Nintendo, Pepsi, Subaru, the Aruba Tourism Authority and America's family fun chain, Carwardine Parks!

Cool Carwardine (Carwardine Colony; March 2004)

 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Song Composition: Marv Simpleton
 * Song Lyrics: Marv Simpleton, Ian Monteil, Jeremy Vallejos
 * Song Vocals: Scott Glenn Riggs
 * Endtag Announcer:
 * Agency:

Plot
The song was meant to get stuck in people's heads in order to get people to go to the park.

Script

 * (RIGGS) ♫ So cool, so fun, so wild, Cool Carwardine! Over here, there's just one rule - it's Carwardine Colony - have fun and just be cool! So cool, so fun, so wild, Cool Carwardine! ♫
 * (GABRIEL) Carwardine Colony in Newport News, Virginia.

What Is Less Scary Than Twin Spiral? (April 2004)

 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Narrator: Travis Northcott
 * Endtag Announcer:
 * Agency:

Plot
This commercial compares Twin Spiral to other scary stuff.

Script

 * (NORTHCOTT) What is less scary then Twin Spiral? Well, several things...
 * (NORTHCOTT) Going to the dentist,
 * (NORTHCOTT) Getting an F on your report card,
 * (NORTHCOTT) Going to a haunted house,
 * (NORTHCOTT) Skydiving,
 * (NORTHCOTT, referring to a bizarre looking monster) Even whatever this thing is!
 * (NORTHCOTT) Face your biggest phobia yet... riding TWIN SPIRAL!
 * (GABRIEL) Twin Spiral! Coming to Carwardine Colony, Memorial Day 2004!

Trivia

 * The kid in the commercial was played by Gabe Moretti, the son of Dept. 2 Productions employee/voice actor Carlo Moretti.
 * The monster was a recycled spare mascot costume of Murky Dismal from Rainbow Brite.

Celebrate 25 Years of Carwardine (January 2005)

 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Narrator:
 * Agency:

Plot
The commercial relies on nostalgia of past memories of the park.

Script

 * (PERSON 1) "I remember the time, when I walked in to Carwardine Colony, and FINALLY reached that 48 inch height requirement for Flash Forward."
 * (PERSON 2) "I remember all the memories it made"
 * (NARRATOR) "Now, YOU can celebrate 25 years of nostalgia at Carwardine Colony!"
 * (PERSON 3) "I was so shocked at the start of the 1990 season, to finally meet the man in red himself from the pixel world, Mario!"
 * (NARRATOR) "Get a 2005 Season Pass today!"

Zero G-Force Announcement Video (September 2006)

 * Narrator:
 * Voices: Jeremy Vallejos (Guy 1, Guy 3), Eric Linney (Guy 2), Rashauna Francis (Woman 1), Duke Rowell (Guy 4), Laura Taneja (Woman 2), Chrissie Saltman (Woman 3), De'Andre Sands (Boy 1), Taylor McGeachie (Boy 2), Gabriela Lovell (Girl)
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency:

Plot
This video was meant to showcase the coaster on announcement day.

Script

 * (AMAYA CARWARDINE): So, what do you guys think is coming next year to Carwardine Colony?
 * (GUY 1): A new drop tower
 * (WOMAN 1): Something to do with Mario
 * (BOY 1): Something that's kind of like Loch Ness Monster at Busch Gardens, but with 10 loops
 * (GUY 2): Something like where you... like... it's like Mario Party, but real.
 * (GUY 3): I have no idea.
 * (WOMAN 2): I don't know.
 * (GUY 4): Maybe... uhh...
 * (WOMAN 3): Bringing back Fear Fall
 * (GIRL): A roller coaster?
 * (BOY 2): Probably a ride where you go inside Chris' mouth
 * (NARRATOR): Well... you, except one of them, are kind of wrong. We have to look at the history of our arsenal of coasters... First, there was the opening day coasters, Starting with Carwardine Mines, a rickety mine adventure. Flash Forward, a reverse freefall coaster with a vertical loop! The Flying Turns, a classic wooden bobsled roller coaster! Ladybug Tivoli, a ride for children and adults alike! Toboggan, a fairground staple... In 1982, the sixth coaster was added, Classic Cyclone, a spin on a classic! Seventh, there was Lasso, a suspended coaster with hairpin turns! Eighth, there was Vortex, a pipeline coaster sorely missed by many! 1990 added City Jet, a coaster with a spiral lift and Elmo's Imagination Train, a coaster ran via power. Number 11, Super Cyclone, with high-rise wooden action Twelfth, there was Nitro Rush, a head-over-heels hyper coaster Thirteenth, there was American Arrow, a classic German-built coaster. Fourteenth, there was Jr. Cyclone, a ride for kids Fifteenth, in 1999, Monstar was added, allowing you to soar the sky. Sixteenth, Cyberchase Hack Attack, formerly King Cobra, an adventure through the jungle Seventeenth, Count Coasterula, a family suspended coaster. Eighteenth, reaching adulthood number of coasters, there was Blaster, an inverted boomerang coaster Nineteenth was Rainbow Brite's Star Chase, a children's flying coaster. Twentieth, there was Redwall: Escape from Malkariss, a thrilling flying coaster. Twenty-first, was Sagwa's Rickshaw Run, an adventure in an old-fashioned rickshaw. Twenty-second, was Double Dash Dueler, a dueling coaster themed to Mario Kart. Twenty-third, was Twin Spiral, a twisty inverted roller coaster. and now, the 24th coaster to ever open at Carwardine Colony...

Sidewinder is Coming! (February 1994)

 * Narrator:
 * Recycled Footage: Texas Tornado at Wonderland Park, Magnum XL-200 at Cedar Point, Bandit at Yomiuriland
 * Agency: Atlantis Advertising Corporation

Plot
TBA

Script

 * SIDEWINDER! Two awesome coasters chasing around each other!
 * Side 1 - Wild Side, the tallest, fastest and steepest roller coaster in the world!
 * And Side 2 - Wind 'n Grind, with a 207 foot drop sure to rack up some screams! Plus, the world's only loop-through corkscrew!
 * Be sure to stay around on opening day for a special performance and meet-and-greet by the hottest group in America, Ace of Base!
 * SIDEWINDER! Opening March 25th, at Carwardine Corners in Yonkers.

SplashTown Has Splashed In! (1995)

 * Narrator:
 * Music: Ian Monteil and The Shoreliners
 * Agency: Atlantis Advertising Corporation

Plot
TBA

Script

 * Felt like riding the rapids and the log flume got boring...
 * Well, now there's an entire place of water fun.
 * Pools, flumes, tubes, rivers, waves, more!
 * SplashTown, at Carwardine Corners!

Script

 * ♫ Carwardine's Great America!, Carwardine's Great America! ♫
 * ♫ Where history lives in song and dance! There's mystery, fun and romance, it's all at... ♫
 * ♫ Carwardine's Great America! Happy days are here to stay! Still the brightest star in the USA! It! Is! Great! America! ♫
 * Now for a limited time offer, get a season pass for only 20 bucks a person!

Trivia

 * The jingle in the ad is a variation on the original Marriott's Great America jingle.

Bowser's Braincrusher Ad (Spring 2004)

 * Narrator:
 * Recycled Footage: Sidewinder at Carwardine Corners, Monstar at Carwardine Colony, Nitro at Six Flags Great Adventure and Phantom's Revenge at Kennywood
 * Agency: The Martin Agency

Script

 * One of gaming's biggest villains is coming to Washington DC.
 * Introducing, Bowser's Braincrusher!
 * A coaster with a height of a 20 story building.
 * A drop over 200 feet.
 * And speeds up to 80 miles an hour!

Some New Fellows (2008)

 * Narrator: Eric Linney
 * Director: Jon de Visser
 * Agency:

Plot
TBA

Script

 * Mario: Well, here we-a are, it's-a Geauga Lake!
 * SpongeBob: I'm ready!
 * Alvin: Last one in is a rotten tomato!
 * Dave: ALVINNN!!!!
 * Luigi: That's his call.
 * Narrator: And this is my call to introduce some new fellows to Geauga Lake, soon to be/now open for the season! All Carwardine Parks Cleveland Season Parkhopping Passes are now compatible with this park! Geauga Lake, where new management doesn't take time to get used to!

Plot
This explains the basic history of the ride then cuts to CGI footage of the new layout.

Script

 * In 1991, Kennywood unleashed Steel Phantom...

Plot
There really is no plot to the ad, as it was meant as a parody to the from.

Script

 * It's bigger, faster, and longer too, it was the first hyper with a batwing corkscrew! Huh! No more! Batwing corkscrew! No more! Rough shoulder restraints!
 * Phantom's Revenge, the thrilling new coaster at Kennywood, coming Spring 2001!

Trivia

 * This ad was a parody of the.

Script

 * JCG: And that's all for this years an... an... wait... A WILD BEAST IS ESCAPING!
 * SpongeBob: It must be Plankton!
 * Plankton: Oh, it may be Mr. Krabs...
 * Mr. Krabs: I have no idea then...
 * Dil (AGU!): It must be aliens...
 * Tatanga: Hey, that's offensive!
 * Peach: It could be Bowser...
 * Bowser: Not at all, sir... err... ma'am...
 * Sagwa: Is it one of those mythological creatures Nai-Nai told us about?
 * Matthias: I'm sure I'll vanquish it!
 * Shade Silverwing: Must be Goth...
 * Goth: I'm already here, amigo...
 * Jimmy Neutron: My reports say it's on four legs.
 * Sonic: It runs mighty fast...
 * JCG: ATTENTION LADIES AND GENTLETOONS! THE ZYMBEZI IS UNLEASHED!
 * JCG: He's transformed into the only coaster in the state of Georgia with a dive loop, non-inverted coaster zero G roll and non-shuttle Cobra Roll!
 * JCG: It's a wild beast in the woods, and you can find him at Rose Park!

Zymbezi (2005)

 * Narrator:
 * Director: Landon Franck
 * Recycled Footage: Redwall: Fight For Victory at Disney-Carwardine Studios Minneapolis, StarFox: High Gear at Chippewa Lake Park and Nitro Rush at Carwardine Colony
 * Agency:

Script

 * In the woods of Georgia, a WILD CREATURE HAS ESCAPED! Zymbezi!
 * The only coaster in the state of Georgia with a dive loop, non-inverted coaster zero G roll and non-shuttle Cobra Roll!
 * It's a wild beast in the woods, and you can find him at Rose Park!