3 Simple Doods and 1 Simple Doodette/Trailer transcripts

The following is a collection of transcripts for the 2017 3D adult computer-animated film, 3 Simple Doods and 1 Simple Doodette.

Teaser trailer 1
(MPAA green screen)

(Shows 20th Century Fox logo)

(We pan towards a flickering computer in a dark, empty room as "Five Armies" by Kevin MacLeod faintly plays.)

Announcer: Next year, the tools for visual effects and computer animation will evolve at an exponential rate, and VerniX Animation Studios will finally...break the boundaries, once again.

(A green, glowing dot appears at the middle of the screen and begins animating shortly afterwards.)

Announcer: In February 2017, from the creator of Family Guy, American Dad, The Cleveland Show and Ted, and the producer of Futurama, 20th Century Fox is proud to present the latest technological achievement in computer animation. The top animation minds from around the world...have collaborated together with a Deviant artist known simply as Z-Doodler, to bring you the most advanced computer-animated movie ever seen by the human eye. A computer-animated movie that is only made for adults over the age of 18.

(A gunshot sound effect during a quick pan-out shot to reveal Ted.)

More coming soon!

Teaser trailer 2
Coming soon!

"Gastric-Related Coma" teaser
Coming soon!

"Gastric-Related Coma" teaser (Red Band)
(MPAA restricted screen)

(Shows 20th Century Fox logo)

(Shows VerniX Animation Studios logo)

(We pan towards the Dood House as we hear a knocking sound effect.)

Chris: (eyes downstairs where the door is being knocked on) What the hell?

(Chris backs up slowly and we hear more knocking a few moments later.)

Chris: (growls under his breath) Damn it!

(Chris slowly grabs a baseball bat and proceeds to put one foot on the staircase as a doorbell is now heard.)

Chris: (yells as he hits himself on the head with the baseball bat) 'GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! GOD DAMN IT SON OF A BITCH PIECE OF SHIT MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE FUCKFUCKFUCK!!!'

Sam: Let me handle this.

(Sam opens the door to find the two exhausted bats from The Jungle Bunch: To the Rescue season 2 episode, Abracadabra, at the doorstep; one of them holding her stomach in absolute discomfort for her life and the other laying comatose on one of the purple bat's wings and resting her head on her fur.)

Sam: Oh, um...

(Ted, Chris and Aiden arrive at the scene.)

Chris: So Sam, did you find the bastards who have been-- (surprised) Oh, my God, no.

Purple bat: (falls over) Are you...ugh, the Great Warrior Tiger?

(The purple bat hallucinates Chris as Maurice from The Jungle Bunch: To the Rescue.)

Chris: (as Maurice, voiced by Kirk Thornton) Oh, um... Okay...my friends, what brings you to this part of the world? (smiles uneasily)

Purple bat: (groans) There's this...urp-gastroenteritis outbreak at our cave...urp! Ooh, apparently there was something in last night's food that we ate. (covers her mouth and swallows hard, fighting back her nausea) Not to mention...hic-this epidemic...urrrrp-is preventing us from sleeping.

(Chris looks confused.)

Sam: Don't worry, Chris. I've handled situations like this before. (kneels down at the bats) So now, you're talking about a "gastro outbreak" at your cave...back at the jungle, is it?

Purple bat: (weakly) Yes. (forces down a burp) And...urp-the recent quarantine has forced us to leave our cave. (almost faints but manages to retain her consciousness)

Sam: (notices the comatose bat in one of the purple bat's wings) Aw, is that your little friend? How are you doing, little fella? Feeling alright?

(No answer.)

Purple bat: Oh, she can't hear you right now. She's in a coma.

(Sam becomes shocked.)

Purple bat: (upset) And she's only so young. Ohh...

Aiden: Don't worry your sickly ass up. Tonight, you will rest up at home.

Ted: Hells yeah! As 3 Simple Doods, we promise. We will take care of this "outbreak" in your cave that you speak of. (whispers in Aiden's ear) Hey! Do you hear that, AIDS? We've finally found our very own R-rated adventure!

Aiden: (gives Ted a weird look) Why you keep calling me AIDS, you dumbass freak?

(The 3 Simple Doods and 1 Simple Doodette logo smash cuts into the frame.)

Zooming Text:

BASED ON THE DEVIANTART COMIC SERIES BY

Z-Doodler

More coming soon!

"Porn Director" Red Band teaser
(MPAA restricted screen)

​More coming soon!

"Meeting Ted's Parents" teaser"
Coming soon!

"Meeting Microsoft Sam and Friends" teaser
Coming soon!

"Meeting Microsoft Sam and Friends" Red Band teaser
(MPAA restricted screen)

More coming soon!

Theatrical trailer
Coming soon!

Red Band trailer
Coming soon!

Adult Swim Parental Warning
(The Adult Swim Old School Parental Advisory screen fades in with Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force on the side of the screen during the Disney Channel Original Movie Theme Song.)

Meatwad: Hello! I'm Meatwad from ATHF. I used to be in a show on the network, but now I no longer know no better... (yells) 'COS NOW I'M DOIN' THESE STUPID PARENTAL WARNINS!! (stays silent for a second) Well, actually they ain't that stupid, Adult Swim's about to show all y'all a movie from... (confused) uh, what was it again? (recieves the memo) "Vernie"? (turns over the paper) Oh... "VerniX"? Aw, VerniX Animation Studios! Yeah! Damn, Shake was right. I really am stupid. (laughs) But no matter. I knew those suckas at Adult Swim would come crawlin' back to me! But anyways, let's get this on with. Y'all about to see 3 Simple Noobs and 1 Simple Noobette... Wait a minute, what the hell was that title again? Oh wait, now I remember. 3 Simple...Doods...and 1 Simple...Doodette. Now remember, this is rated TV-MA-LSV, and it may contain some mature content such as sex & nudity, porno, violence, gore, blood, and foul language that even I wouldn't wanna find kids under the age of 17 watchin'. (silence for a few seconds) Well, that and... (smiles) Adult Swim's goin' Old School, brother!

Master Shake: (off-screen) Did you just say "porno"?

Meatwad: (hears a faint chainsaw sound) Shake, no!

Master Shake: (holding a chainsaw) PORNO!!

(The screen gets cut in half by the chainsaw.)

Meatwad: (off-screen) Ah well. Enjoy the movie!

Super Bowl Party TV spot
Coming soon!