Fictional Bum Reviews/God's Not Dead

Transcript

 * Announcer: And now it's time for Bum Reviews... with Chester A. Bum. Tonight's review... God's Not Dead.
 * Chester: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!
 * Chester: Praise the-SPOILERS!
 * Chester: There's this Christian college student, named Josh Wheaton, who enrolls in a philosophy class taught by Professor Jeffrey Radisson! That's right, someone named their kid after a hotel chain!
 * Chester: So Professor Jeffrey is an atheist, and decides to force his students to renounce their religion by signing and passing around a declaration that "God is dead". I was forced to renounce my religion once! Never say "May the force be with you" to Richard Dawkins' face.
 * Chester: And Josh is like:
 * Chester *imitating Josh* I won't sign the paper!
 * Chester: So the professor challenges Josh to a Christian vs. Atheist debate!
 * Chester: There's also this Chinese kid called Martin, who is not allowed to be a Christian by his dad! And his dad speaks only in Chinese! Just like that old PBS show, Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat! Boy that was pure furry bait that only El Kadsreians care for nowadays.
 * Chester: And there's this leftist blogger called Amy, who's girlfriend is this atheist called Mark, and she interviews the Duck Dynasty gang! And Amy's like:
 * Chester (imitating Amy): Are you religious?
 * Chester (imitating Willie Robertson): Yep.
 * Chester (imitating Amy): YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY EVIL IN MY EYES!!!