This is a list of fictional/altered cutaways and scenes from Family Guy.
Dammit Janet (S02E15)
- Lois: My a** feels like a pincushion. I'm thinking of quittin'.
- Peter: What? Lois, you can't quit! What if Akio Eiji's parents had quit being abusive?
- [Cuts to Akio's old house in Japan]
- Young Akio: (in Japanese, subtitled) Mother, father, I learned fluent and proper English today!
- Alternate Akio's Father: (in Japanese, subtitled, excited) You did? Let's hear it!
- Young Akio: (now in English) Well, how do I sound in English?
- Alternate Akio's Father: (in Japanese, subtitled) Wow! The after school classes were a great idea! You are gonna fit in when you move to an English-speaking country.
Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date (S15E05)
- Stewie: Oh Rupert, I can't believe Taylor Swift is actually going to be in our house! I haven't been this excited since the day I met Linda Grundy at that cafe in El Kadsre.
- [Cuts to a cafe somewhere in El Kadsre]
- Stewie: So Linda, people say that you're from Kenya, right?
- Linda: Yeah, I also was originally gonna move to the United States, United Kingdom and Venezuela, but I decided to move here to El Kadsre City instead.
- Stewie: So, what was the most and least favorite thing you've done during your career?
- Linda: I starred in Walter Gyver's hit sitcom, The Devons, which was one of my most favorite things about my career, the least favorite of my career was not starring in The Devons Go to Hollywood, but that movie sucked a**, anyway.
The Finer Strings (S15E13)
- Stewie: Brian, you're not kidding anyone, we all know you don't care about Carter! You only care about his money.
- Brian: No, no, no! He knows I'm his friend.
- Stewie: Yeah, right, that's what Aaliyah Caelan thought about Stacey Kashur when she thought Akio was cheating on her.
- [Cuts to recording studio in Ireland, Akio opens the door and walks in with a lot of records]
- Akio: Stacey, I have found a lot of records from nearly all over the world that we can use for our soundtrack of my official comic dub!
- Aaliyah: And what else Eiji-man? (camera zooms out to reveal Stacey being hung upside down tied to a rope with Aaliyah angry)
- Akio: Aaliyah, what is this?
- Aaliyah: Don't lie to me! I know you're cheating on me, Akio.
- Akio: What? If I was cheating on you, I'd make out with Stacey. (points at camera) Also, it would be caught on that security camera over there.
- Stacey: (to Aaliyah) He's right, you know?
Stewie's First Word (S19E01)
- Preist: Now please join me in silent prayer and as we settle into the silence, I remind you that starting today, we will be doing music news before church announcements. Starting off, just about yesterday on September 26, Irish virtual group KRYptid re-released their album, UZI VER ZON in double LP vinyl format in honor of Record Store Day.
- Peter: Oh, that reminds me. I pre-ordered the album and sent it to Carter's house as a really early birthday gift.
- (Scene cuts to Carter's mansion in the living room, where Carter opens a package with the album inside and picks it up).
- Carter: Hmm... I'm not usually into this KRYptid crap, but who could resist music on a vinyl record? Not this guy, that's for sure!
- Barbra: Honey, where have you been?
- Carter: Nothing, sweetheart.
- (Scene zooms out to reveal Carter wearing KRYptid memorabilia).
- Carter: I was just discovering that KRYptid isn't crap at all.
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