|
This article/section is under construction. |
| Please excuse its informal appearance while it is being worked on. We hope to have it completed as soon as possible. As usual, do not edit this page without the owner's permission unless you are correcting spelling and/or grammatical errors. |
Transcript[]
- The Snob: You know I've seen a woman puke her own insides out, plus another woman get split in two by wolf people, in addition to a man doing a Donald Duck voice killing a woman and a kid puking after getting his ears punctured with sticks, and Squidward being a creeper to kids whilst dressed as a giant diaper-wearing duck! But trust me... this is the most screwed up thing I've watched yet.
- (Cut to clips from the movie)
- The Snob: Hero Factory: Rise of the Rookies was released in May 1990 in the El Kadsres on separate days, and instead of being directed by Pasi Peure, was directed by it's producer, Liam Benson.
- (Cut to the 75th Anniversary Universal Pictures logo)
- The Snob: As you can see, Universal Pictures chose to celebrate their 75th Anniversary in style by updating their logo for the 12th or so time instead of giving a f*** about the film's U.S. release.
- (Cut to the opening credits)
- The Snob: The film stars Goro Yukimura, who played Hiroshi Yoshimura aka. Matoro in the Bionicle series and some people I don't care about, plus Shouhei Fujita as the voice of Von Nebula. Wait, Liz English as Rotor? Where have I heard that name before?
- (Cut to a clip from The Aristocats)
- Marie: Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them!
- (Cut back to the Snob)
- The Snob: Great, now one of my cat wives has been forced into a Technic Heroes movie. That's a thing I just said.
- (Cut back to the opening credits)
- The Snob: And Corbin still can't pick a f***ing color! The film was executive produced by Qasim Amjad, who played Chinasa Opeyemi in Bionicle VII and had become El TV Kadsre's CEO at the time, and was written as usual by Sung Gim.
- (Cut to the Alpha 1 Team arriving to guard an explosives shipment)
- The Snob: The Alpha 1 Team are dispatched to... I don't know, protect the film from being screened to, as Pasi would put it, old men critics who jerk off to Citizen Kane?
- (Cut to Furno observing the mission)
- The Snob: Furno is observing the shipment.
- (Cut to XPlode and Rotor popping out from behind dynamite crates)
- The Snob: But uh-oh, villains! "Hello, I'm Gerald Casale. Me and Liz English will be your joint James Earl Jones for the movie." And I'm wrong about the Alpha 1 Team protecting a film shipment, they're actually making sure this dynamite gets shipped to an Alvin and the Chipmunks concert to kill everyone in attendance for liking them.
- XPlode: Well Rotor, this is an achievement! We're gonna prove our villainy!
- Rotor: Why exactly, X-ee?
- XPlode: DON'T CALL ME X-EE!
- (Cut back to the Snob)
- The Snob: Gee, Marie sure has aged well! She sounds like she's choking on a mouse! Also, the vocal effect used for XPlode's voice was the same used in Devo's "Total Devo" album, especially on the track "Blow Up".
- (Cut to XPlode and Rotor attacking the guards)
- The Snob: Thankfully, Technic Fight starts playing.
- (Cut to Furno fighting Rotor)
- Furno: Take this!
- Rotor: How about no?
- (Cut back to the Snob)
- The Snob: So when is Duchess gonna come in and tell Marie-otor that what's she's doing is not ladylike, and that it's time to practice her Scales and her Arpeggios?