• Channel Awesome logo plays
  • Nostalgia Critic intro plays

(intro fades to Malcolm and Tamara playing a Touhou Project game)

Malcom: Man, I expected the game to be hard, but not this hard.

Tamara: You tell me!

(Nostalgia Critic walks into the room, sipping something from his mug. He stops to stare at the two playing the game)

NC: What are you guys doing?

Malcolm: We're playing a Japanese video game about cute girls killing each other.

NC: (pause) Huh?

Tamara: (gets defeated in-game, turns to NC) It's a Touhou game, which means it's fun and challenging while also angering.

NC: Oh... that reminds me actually, I'll be back. (walks away)

(Malcolm still plays the game with a big dorky smile on his face)

Tamara: You're too good at this.

(cut to NC sitting down)

NC: Good thing I didn't completely forgot about this review. Now if you couldn't guess from the title, we're reviewing a film based on The Drillmation Series.

(music starts playing, slideshow of images of the characters and games starts playing)

NC (voiceover): The Drillmation Series is a Japanese mega-franchise consisting of multiple game franchises, an anime and even a movie. It revolvers around numerous characters, namely drillers, hackers, and bishoujo characters. Almost sounds like the villains from the Powerpuff Girls. It's one of the biggest game franchises, among Pokémon and Mario, with over a billion copies sold worldwide, so of course people wanted to make a movie on it.

(cut to NC)

NC: And we all know how well it went with the two franchises. (posters of Super Mario Bros. and Pokémon 4Ever appear)

(cut back to the sildeshow)

NC: However, when it was released in 2009, it did work out for them a little bit. It received... "meh" reviews, a 78% rating in Metacritic, and a 76% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. I'll even say, that's the highest rated video game movie ever. Impressive! But when you come up to people and ask about the movie, most people don't even remember it, much like with the highest-grossing film of all time, Avatar. Why is that?

(cut back to NC)

NC: Well, I'm about to explore why that is. This is The Drillmation Movie.


NC (voiceover): So we start off with the good old Disney logo- (the logo is actually revealed to be Walt Disney Studios and not Walt Disney Pictures) Uhhh... are you okay? I remember it was Walt Disney Pictures, not Walt Disney Studios. Is this a bootleg?

(cut to the beginning of the film)

NC (vo): So we start with... Susumu and.... Wataru-

(cut to NC)

NC: You know what, I'm just gonna call them Susan and Wario! Trust me, I'll never get used to pronouncing their names, as I couldn't even pronounce their names right as a kid, and I didn't even watch the anime much too.

NC (vo): This movie has a really weird plot. It starts with Wario gathering with Susan and both of their girlfriends to go to an arcade to play a new game. Again, I'll call their girlfriends Kona and Yuki from then onward. However, when they get to the arcade, they're refused entry because it's for adults only. Actually, let me stop you there. Doesn't all of this... sound familiar?

(shows clip from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut)

NC (vo): Surprisingly enough, they managed to pre-date South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut by a whole decade. Same plot, same humor... how did this go unnoticed? However, instead of cursing, we get violence without blood instead. Why? Is it so they can get that PG rating? Nonetheless, they play the game and exit the same fashion as the boys did for that Terrence and Philip movie.

(cut to the scene where Misao is injured)

NC (vo): Anyway, what happens instead of not only allowing characters to curse is they become violent. The first victim ends up being Mi... or Meow or whatever. This causes the game to become overshadowed by controversy all over Japan. And so, both couples go back to the arcade to play the game again, and after playing, Kona ends up becoming the next victim by who? You guessed it! Wario! Except that Kona wasn't killed, Wario ends up getting grounded-grounded!

NC: Unlike Kenny, who was killed, Kona managed to survive, but ends up having to have surgical repair.

NC (vo): Meanwhile, Kona's parents, as well as the parents of Susan, pretty much start an anti-nerd campaign modeled after Mothers Against Canada. And just like Cartman does to Kyle's mom, Chuta or Chewie, whatever taunts Susan's mom.

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