The Longest Movie Ever is a movie that was released on September 22nd, 2022. It was released after about 30 years of animating, filming, finding videos, and asking permission to use the videos. It is partially unscripted.
Plot[]
Chapter 1[]
Two giant crabs on the beach are punching a giant tree, when one crab runs away and finds a whistle. He hisses nonsense, but then it morphs into a real-life beach (not animated). There is a TV playing a VHS, and it shows the script for that scene. An old woman with a black hat puts her scarf on, and a man complains that she can't use that scarf until winter. Then, there is an out-of-context clip of purple, poisonous liquid falling from a bucket. The bucket is labeled "For poisonous experiments only. Please don't use outside of the chemistry.". Then, it comes back to the "two crabs punching a tree" animation. The old woman (animated) sits on top of the Sphinx. Suddenly, it crumbles and the old woman has to survive a 20 meter fall. The old woman tries to fly and she flies up. Then, the old woman lands in the middle of the sea and discovers that some Egyptian souls carrying the remains of the Sphinx had been carrying her. Suddenly, the souls collapse and evaporate to the afterlife, and the old woman drowns to the bottom of the seafloor, where she meets a swimming elephant (who wears a sombrero) picking Damnen sea limes for his lunch. A woman stands alone on the beach, with her eyes wide open and looking out to sea. The woman cries, but when a single teardrop reaches the sea, the old woman (riding on the elephant) jumps out of the sea, scaring the woman. The old woman is revealed to be the woman's mother. The man walks and sees the scene and cries. One teardrop reaches one of the crab's eyes and goes to the crab's mouth, making him hiss until he turns around and washes them. Another crab witnesses this, and he punches the tree, and then the crab comes to the tree and punches it with him. The tree falls down and it cracks, revealing a teddy bear. The two women get the teddy bear and investigate. They check the tag and it says "CCA483 (Colour: http://www.perbang.dk/rgb/CCA483.) is my skin colour. Immune to purple, poisonous liquid. Written in 1941.". Meanwhile, an old man grabs an apple basket with a few red apples and a banana on the side. He is in New York, looking at pictures of the Lacandon Jungle. Suddenly, the old man cries about hiding his son's teddy bear in a tree back in 1941. There is an animated flashback. A father (with a mustache) and son holding the teddy bear at the beach in 1941 wait for World War II to end. The teddy bear gets blown away and lands in his chemistry lab, landing in a pot of purple, poisonous liquid. He grabs his gloves, but they blow away. An athlete runs, and her sweat lands in it, creating a reaction that makes the pot explode and then the teddy bear lands in a pit. The pit was dug and the soil (including the teddy bear) is put inside a new tree. Over time, the soil dries out and the hole in the tree is sealed. The old man grabs some old chewing gum from the day that he lost the teddy bear. The old man also gets his card, revealing his name is Walter Briggs. Meanwhile, the two women run to New York because the teddy bear said the old man, Walter Briggs, was there, but the two women become poisoned and subconsciously run faster to New York. Walter Briggs cries until the two women arrive and give the teddy bear to Walter Briggs. Walter calls his son and Walter's son immediately arrives to Walter's house, and he surpises him. Both of them cry. They have milk, biscuits, and strawberries together. Walter's son is named Alfred Cusack Briggs. They talk about refreshing, smooth, green pine lotion and chickens in a snow hut resembling a hot dog. There were two pitchers and cups on the table and there were two plates with food on the table, but the content on one plate was eaten and there were crumbs everywhere underneath the other one. They also watch Back to the Future but with CGI dinosaurs in it. The TV shows dodgeballs and weak velociraptors. Meanwhile, at the beach, the two crabs look at the hole in the tree. Suddenly, it turns into live action. It is unscripted. Ray Walston and William Asher run around on the beach, and hold a tree prop (which looks like the tree which previously had the teddy in it) and perform a really wacky song: "Figuring wonders! As of the truth is required for 1993! Bunnies say goodbye to random cookies!". They face a stone wall with graffiti on it. Then, they sing a song in their own language: "Lusurura halluda dianthasa / Neaxoi ayus nasa / Fà'druxoi spoisa nesuma'nijub / Nasi frila smo'nyojo / Hoj sagigin haj abiliti!". Then, they fall into a dark, dusty tomb. This is about when it reaches 1:00:00. They run around and then it becomes rotoscoped with the background of the dark, dusty tomb. Suddenly, the dust settles into the ground, and they stomp to get rid of the dust. Suddenly, the dark, dusty tomb crumbles and the frame rate is raised to 120 fps. The whole CGI animation of the dark, dusty tomb crumbling is just 10 seconds long (1,200 frames), but it took from March 6, 1993 to March 10, 1996 to animate the frames. The 100 animators were divided into two groups: the 2D animators and the 3D animators. The 2D animators were allowed to make sketches of whatever they liked on a computer and on paper. After the tomb crumbles, the frame rate decreases to the standard frame rate, 30 fps. Then, there is another out-of-context clip of Yule marble before they land in something dark. Suddenly, there are two flashlights (one 3D, the other 2D). They get a lamp, and it is revealed that it is made of Yule marble, explaining the out-of-context clip. Then, something lands in the ground. It says: "It is he who wants time, that not the one who loves her go.". Then, people named Theon, Vesher, Imetha, Heonew, Holov, and Ishew appear as voices. They said this: "The lamb is not delighted, falling and calling; one who loves is one who knows who loves them as the one who loves them should know and tell them who loves them also and they now know. Rocket science thickly states, the belly fat of ponies, felines and alligators have been measured the heaviest of all." Then the people rhyme: "Into a trance of technology I have been led, the TV has made us sleepy in bed. Now the TV pushes us to rhyme, or there will be mass destruction all the time. The budgies have a fast heartbeat, while the budgie finds death for the year of fifteen. Sometimes five is year of death, and he is ruggedly handsome during his first breath. Pandas crawl instead of walk, and they eat the lucky bamboos with a single stalk. When crawling or walking deep into this room, I won't get germs, because of unconstitutionalism!"
Chapter 2[]
Then, it switches to a man eating a juicy steak. He puts a cassette into the umbrella, and it plays it. The man nods and shakes his head to the melody of Mr. Sandman. A cardboard box stumbles and lands on his chest. Sheep are dancing and drinking wine. The sheep are whining from the wine. A giant bowl of cream is spilled on the sheep. Flying rabbits are eating the sheep. A mouldy alien spaceship is inhabited by lifeless blue blobs. An earthworm gnaws on a wild onion loudly. A sleeping man wakes up and looks at the vast world. Cooked meat rafts are carried by dolphins walking on land. A food truck crashes into a fried vegetable stand. It rains soil and acid. Darkness engulfs the sky. “Bed…”, one of the flying rabbits groans drowsily. A giant potato from Oklahoma is eaten by a sheep in its last moments. An employee’s VHS recording of a solar eclipse. Then a child jumping on a trampoline. After that, an out-of-context clip of an Estonian robot making sushi appears. He tries to eat the sushi, but he has no mouth. An elderly cow is crammed into a red truck.
Meanwhile, a human clone blinks its eyes in a sci-fi city inside a cataclysmic hotel housed inside a cybersecurity-protected UFO. He has no idea where he is, but remembers his name, Hakeolabamingikeweno. A female clone tries to say his name, but keeps messing it up. Meanwhile, the male clone manages to trace his genetics to the year 1788. A commercial of a boxing glove is shown. A man with an unknown phobia is shown coughing. A doctor comes in to give him a checkup. The door swings and comes alive, while Childhood Craziness by Melor Limey plays in the background. A lamb chop plays tennis with bread, and the bread loses. A hurricane perfectly folds and rips two sheets of rubber into galoshes and a dodecahedron with legs jumps into them. It rains two metres of rain and the galoshes fill up with water. It cuts to an abandoned tractor under the sea and a scuba diver stretches his arms, grabs a Victorian onion bottle and drinks it. A barnacle stuck to the onion bottle turns into a blob and tries to bite his arm, but fails because the scuba diver flings him with a cowboy hat he pulls from the mud. The cowboy hat lands on some grass and turns into a pumpkin which the scuba diver happily bites into.
Chapter 3[]
Then it shows a VHS tape, but all shredded and taped back together.
Production[]
The first announcement of the film was on October 27, 1991 in newspapers. Most of it is really obscure, and the only thing we could get was that there was CGI animated from March 6, 1993 to March 10, 1996. However, according to the creator of the movie in a 2018 television interview, digital software is being used to cut up, slow down and mix old home videos, YouTube videos (they asked for permission), security camera footage, zoomed in old documents, newspapers and letters, and photos in the public domain together. Several people have attempted to watch it and do nothing else recently, but they have failed because they were bored. The farthest someone has watched is 3 hours, citing that after the story it got boring. They have warned you that you should never attempt to watch it, as you will waste your life. Besides, this is Dream Fiction, so this is fictional.
The movie has been regarded as an experimental film, which it is.